“9/11 humor” refers to any attempt at making jokes or comedic material related to the tragic events of September 11, 2001, which saw the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center in New York City, the Pentagon, and the crash of United Airlines Flight 93. Due to the sensitive and emotional nature of these events, such humor is generally considered to be in poor taste and offensive by many people.
According to South Park’s 22.3 year rule, 9/11 will officially be funny on 12/29/2023 at 11:10 PM. So we aggregated the darkest 9/11 jokes for you. Yes, there’s a place for “Black Humor” — among friends who understand you but don’t try to cheer up any 9/11 family members with jokes.
Funny 9/11 Jokes
Why was 10 traumatized?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
What is the similarity between maths and 9/11?
Two parallel lines can be intersected by a plane.
What’s the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You don’t milk a cow for two decades.
What is the difference between 9/11 and a professional gardener?
One is an outside job.
Did you hear about the girl who dumped a boy on 9/11?
That’s one way of making sure I’ll never forget.
Yo mama so fat, when she went up the elevator the World Trade Center collapsed.
What is the difference between 9/11 and landscaping?
Landscaping is an outside job.
How do we know 9/11 wasn’t a government plot?
Because it worked.
You said you’d never forget.
Why are 9/11 victims the best readers?
They can go through 94 stories in seconds!
What do Hillary Clinton and the World Trade Center have in common?
Both collapsed on 9/11 after becoming overheated.
Why did only a few people laugh when Bush made a 9/11 joke?
Because it was an inside joke.
What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?
“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the world trade center.”
Trump, Obama, Clinton, and Bush decided to have a sprinting race to decide who was the fastest.
Trump went first and he ran from the start to the finish line in 23:34 minutes.
Clinton went second and got 15:28 minutes.
Obama went after and did 10 minutes, thinking he may have won, Obama is fairly optimistic.
Until Bush did 9:11.
Why are 9/11 jokes not funny?
The other 2 however, are hilarious!
Recommended: Dark Humor Jokes
How would you rate the USA and Saudi Arabia’s relationship?
What do gender and the World Trade Center have in common?
There used to be two, but now it’s an iffy subject.
What’s the best thing about being born on 9/11/99?
You had the two biggest candles on your second birthday.
What’s the difference between 9/11 and your birth?
One was planned.
What is the similarity between Koby Brain, 9/11, and a Drum solo?
All of them ended with a crash.
What time does an ISIS member go to bed?
He usually crashes at 9:11.
Why were the people in the World Trade Center mad on 9/11?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza and all they got was a plane.
Two conspiracy theorists die and go to heaven.
Now that they have the chance to ask any question of God, one of them asks “Who was really responsible for 9/11?” God responds, “A group of Al-Qaeda terrorists led by Osama Bin Laden and Khalid Sheikh Mohammed.”
The conspiracy theorist gulps and turns to his friend and says, “Fuck. This goes even higher up than we thought.”
How many 9s does it take to change a lightbulb?
11. 9 11 changed everything.
Recommended: Depression Jokes
What is the difference between science and religion?
Science brought humans to the moon while religion brought planes into the WTC.
Why was 6 afraid of 7
Because 7 ate 9. Why was 10 dead. Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Why weren’t any Muslims there at Hogwarts?
They were still stuck on platform 9/11.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought the 9/11 event were a jenga breakdowns!
Why was the Sikh tired of being called a Muslim?
They’re the 7-ELEVEN guys, not the 9/11 guys.
Do you know what’s pretty much the same as 9/11?
What do you call angry birds in real life?
Why do people hate jokes about the World Trade Center?
Because its an easy target.
An Arab abandons a suitcase at a train station shortly after 9/11.
A blond-haired blue-eyed Caucasian man standing close notices this right away. He approaches the bag and sees that the zipper isn’t completely closed, so he peeks inside.
He notices electronic gadgets, what appears to be a timer, and a large quantity of cash. He seizes the suitcase and pursues the Arab to return it.
“Thank you!” the Arab shouts, “you have saved my life, alhamdulillah!” I will never be able to repay you, but I will give you some sound advice: ‘The Arab leans in close and whispers into the white man’s ear, “Whatever you do, do not go to Birmingham, Alabama. No matter what.’
“Why?” asks the white man, “because there will be an attack or something?”
“No,” replies the Arab, “because that place is a fucking shithole.”
A kid in the back of the class just yelled “Jenga!”
The class was watching a 9/11 documentary.
What do 9/11 and WAP have in common?
From the top make it drop.
What’s your favorite holiday?
Do you have a dark 9/11 pickup line?
“Are you a building? Cause I rate you 9/11.”
What was going through the heads of the 9/11 victims on the 42nd floor?
The 43rd floor.
Why do people keep on making jokes about the twin towers?
Because they go down so well.
What is 9+9? 18.
What is 9+10? 19.
What is 9+11? -2996
What do the terrorists call 9/11?
What’s edgier than a 9/11 joke?
What is the difference between Mcdonald’s and 9/11?
Mcdonald’s has a drive-through and the Twin towers have a fly-through.
Recommended: McDonald’s Jokes
Why were the Twin Towers scared at Dinner?
Because their mom said, “Here Comes The Airplane!”
What did the North Tower say to the South Tower?
“Let’s talk later I gotta catch a plane.”
Why is the USA bad at clash Royale?
Cause they already lost two towers.
1st Friend: Wanna play 9/11?
2nd Friend: What’s that?
1st Friend: It’s a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
Why were the twin towers actually twins?
Their birth and death dates are the same!
Why can’t USA and England play chess?
The USA has no towers and England has no queen.
What do a dad and the Twin Towers have in common?
Once they’re gone they never come back.
What is the New York fireman’s favorite song?
It’s raining men.
What were the terrorists of 9/11 thinking?
We can’t go over it we can’t go under it we’ll have to go through it.
What’s Al Quieda’s favorite football team?
New York Jets.
Recommended: Super Bowl Jokes
Why was Shaq depressed after 9/11?
Those were his favorite two buildings to climb.
What do you get when you remove a side of a pentagon?
What’s a Minecraft creeper’s favorite holiday?
Did you hear that Trump plays Fortnite?
Yeah, it’s the most kills a president has gotten since 9/11.
An American walks into an Irish pub, he asks the bartender for an Irish Car Bomb.
The bartender grimaces, “Excuse me?”
The man smiles, “It’s a drink, you don’t have those? Irish car bombs?”
The bartender lights up and replies, “Oh I have something similar, one moment!”
He then takes two tall shot glasses side by side, fills them with vodka, and lights them aflame. “Special, just for you.”
The American frowns, “What the hell is this?”
“I call it a 9/11.”
What is the game that Arabians play after 9/11?
What’s worse than 9/11?
What was the last thing to go through the minds of 9/11 jumpers?
What’s the difference between 9/11 and the Manchester attacks?
The K/D ratio.
Why didn’t the passengers on the 9/11 planes get their money back?
Because they didn’t fill out the refund request forms.
Recommended: Anti Jokes
Shortly after 9/11, Achmed and Abdul were terrified of what Muslim men had done to their adopted country and were aware of the new era of hate crimes and racism.
They shaved their beards, changed into western clothes, and made a pact to meet in a year’s time, and see who had the most “American life.”
So a year goes by, and the two men meet at a bar, and they began to discuss the events of the past year.
“I married a white woman, bought a Ram pick up truck, joined a softball team, and converted to Christianity… do you think you can be more American than that?” Abdul challenged.
“Fuck you, towel head!” Achmed responded.
Did you hear about a kid who will never forget his father’s last words before 9/11?
Have you heard of the 9/11 sex position?
It’s double penetration with lots of bush involved.
Have a darker 9/11 joke? Post your own 9/11 puns in the comment section below!