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50 Aboriginal Jokes For The Aussies

Funny Aboriginal Jokes on Australia
Best Aboriginal Jokes

Australia is home to many different indigenous populations. They include the Wiradjuri in New South Wales and the Noongar in Western Australia. Aboriginal populations are often grouped together and referred to as “Aborigines”, however, some consider the term pejorative. Instead, legally, the native populations of Australia are referred to as “Aboriginals and Torres Strait Islanders”. Some also prefer regional terms, like “Koori” in New South Wales, or “Murri” in Queensland.
Recently, a genetic study found that native Australian peoples may have left Africa up to 75,000 years ago, “likely representing one of the oldest continuous populations outside Africa.” For centuries, they thrived in Australia, usually in nomadic societies. Some developed distinct tools like the boomerang, used for hunting, and the didgeridoo, a musical instrument that is still popular today. Now, let’s read some Aboriginal Jokes that might give you a chuckle or two.

We heard from many Australians that they wished more people would make these jokes. Well people, they do but they are called racist until and unless you’re not a professional comedian. Emphasis on the word ‘professional.’

Funny Aboriginal Jokes

Why don’t Australians play cover songs?
They only play Aboriginals!


Why are Aborigines sad about colonization?
They didn’t teach Brits how to grow tea and still got colonized.


Did you know that someone tried contacting the aboriginals in Australia via smoke signal?
But the line was always busy.


What is the TAB called by Aborigines?
The Koori Bank.


What is the difference between black people on grass in Australia and America?
In America, they are tacked either by police or football player. Here, they picnic.


Did you hear about Europeans suffering from the heat wave?
An aborigine asked them to stay strong. He said, “Your ancestors colonized entire countries in much higher temperatures.”


What did the guy ask his Australian friend who failed his aboriginal music exam?
“Did you redo it?”


What do you call “Know It All” Aboriginals?
Inuits.


Why don’t Aborigines need university degrees?
Because they got community degrees.


Why does one know if someone is married to a Koorie girl?
He must have got the scars to prove it.


Who is behind every successful Aborigine man?
A very jealous Aborigine woman.


What do you call an Aboriginal rolling down a hill?
Abolanche.


What would you call Australia if it were only colonized by men?
A penile colony.


Recommended: Australian Jokes


What do you call an Aboriginal in a lamp?
An Abori-genie.


How do you call a blackfella with dandruff?
A Lamington.


An Australian aborigine owns a boomerang that will not return to him no matter how many times he throws it. Frustrated, he seeks assistance from the witch doctor. When the witch doctor asks where he obtained the boomerang, the abo says it was from a souvenir shop on Ayer’s Rock.
The witch doctor says, “You bloody fool, didn’t you see the sign by the cash register that says ‘NO RETURNS.'”


Who were the first people in Australia to have a six-pack?
The Ab-originals.


What do you say to an Aborigine bloke from Australia who worked in I.T.?
“Do you come from a LAN down under?”


What do you call an aboriginal Canadian emo band?
Bannock! At The Disco.


Recommended: Dark Emo Jokes


In Darwin, Australia, a multi-millionaire wanted to throw a party and invited all of his friends and neighbors. He also invited Brian, the sole aboriginal in the area.
He threw the party in his mansion’s garden, around the pool. Everyone was having a terrific time drinking, dancing, eating grilled prawns and oysters, and flirting.
The millionaire then announced, “I have a 15-foot man-eating crocodile in my pool, and I’ll give a million dollars to anyone who joins him in the pool.”
The words had only left his mouth when there was a huge splash.
Everyone turned around to see Brian fighting the crocodile in the water, jabbing it in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, headbutting it, choking it, biting its tail, and tossing it into the air like some kind of martial arts expert.
The water was swirling and splashing all over the place. Brian and the crocodile were both shouting and yelling.
Brian finally strangled the crocodile and let it float to the top of the pool like a dead goldfish after what seemed like an eternity.
Brian stepped out of the pool, weary, with everyone looking at him in surprise.
“Well, Brian, I think I owe you a million dollars then,” the millionaire responded.
“No way, boss, I don’t want it,” Brian replied.
So the millionaire says, “Man, I have to offer you something. You won the wager. How about a million dollars?”
“No thanks, I don’t want it,” Brian said emphatically.
The millionaire again says, “Come on, I have to give you something. That was incredible. What about a brand-new Porsche, a Rolex, and some stock options?”
Again, Brian said, “No.”
“Well, Brian, then what do you want?” the rich man inquired, perplexed.
“I want the bastard who pushed me in,” said Brian.


What can you say about an Aussie and an Aborigine that scores well on an IQ test?
An Aussie is a cheat.


What do you get if you cross-breed an Australian with an Aborigine?
Nothing, aborigine knows better than that.


A Ranger was assigned the task of hunting buffalo. He hired an aboriginal Scout to assist him. They set out on their expedition to find buffalo. After a while, the Scout dismounts places his ear to the ground, and says, “Humm, buffalo come.”
The Ranger looks around with his binoculars but sees nothing. “I see nothing,” he says to the Scout, “how do you know buffalo are coming?”
“Ear sticky,” says the scout.


Three aboriginals in a car, who’s the driver?
The police.


What do you call an Australian man who did something first?
Aboriginal.


An Aborigine walks into Centrelink and announces to his case manager that he wants a job.
The case manager says, “I’ve got the perfect job for you!”
“Really?” says the Aborigine.
“Yeah, mate – you start when you want, finish when you want. Company car, free air travel, and $200,000 per year!”
Abo thinks for a while and then says, “I think you’re lyin’ to me, bunge.”
The case manager says, “Well, you started it.”


What do you call someone who plays the same song over and over on his didgeridoo?
An unoriginal aboriginal.


What do you call an Aboriginal with red hair?
A Boomeranga.


Recommended: Redhead Jokes


A hunter shoots a duck, and the duck dies on Aboriginal land.
When the Hunter tries to get it, he is stopped by an Aboriginal guy. “This duck is on my property, so it is mine.”
The hunter claims he shot it, thus it’s his.
They argue for a while before the Aboriginal replies, “We have a tradition here for settling disputes – we take turns kicking each other in the nuts, and whoever gives up first must also give up the duck.”
The hunter agrees, and the Aboriginal says he will begin because it is a historical tradition for them.
He gathers all of his might and kicks the hunter in the scrotum as hard as he can. The hunter collapses to the ground, clutching his crotch, tears welling up in his eyes, scarcely able to breathe.
After a while, the hunter gets to his feet and walks over to his opponent.
“Okay, my turn,” he says.
“Nah,” says the other guy, “you can have the duck.”


What do you call a bus load of Aborigines going off a cliff?
A good start.


The garbage collector was making his rounds and saw that one house had not put their garbage can out. Normally, a guy would just drive right by, on to the next house, but old pal was in a good mood because he got laid the night before. As a result, he stepped out of the truck and knocked on the front door.
When an Aboriginal guy answered the door, Greta Garbo inquired, “Hey mate, where’s your bin?”
“Oh, I’ve bin up north.” said the resident.
“Nah mate, where’s your wheelie bin?” he goes.
“Ahh, I wheelie bin in jail, but I tell everyone I bin up north.”


What do you call a male aborigine?
A didgeridude.


An Australian Aboriginal is out fishing when he comes upon a massive mud crab that is out of season.
He grabs the muddie and throws it in the trunk/boot of his car as quickly as he can. At that moment, a ranger from the Department of Fisheries notices Paddy the aboriginal loading the mudcrab into the boot of his car.
“Oi. That is not acceptable! I noticed what you did there. You have a mudcrab in your boot. It’s not mudcrab season yet. I’m going to fine you!!”
Paddy says, “No way mate. It isn’t what it looks like. This mudcrab is my pet. His name is Marty. Everyday I take him down here for a swim. I’ll show you.”
So he took the mudcrab and put it in the water. The mudcrab scuttled away and disappeared.
“Well, where is he?” asked the ranger.
“Where’s what?”


Why couldn’t the blind Aborigine read?
He was an Aborigine.


Recommended: Blind Jokes


What do you say to an Aboriginal on a bike?
Stop, thief!


When an Aboriginal was walking down the shore, he came across a bottle. He reasoned that he might be able to sell it and get some money, so he began cleaning it up with his sleeve.
A genie appeared and said, “I will grant you three wishes, but wish carefully.”
“I would love to be white!” exclaims the Aboriginal.
POOF!! He becomes white!
“I’d like to be wealthy as my second wish.”
POOF!! He becomes wealthy, dresses in fancy clothes, and owns a lovely car.
“All right,” the genie responds, “what is your third wish?”
“Hmm,” the Aboriginal adds, “this is something I’ve always desired.” I never want to go back to work!”
“Okay.” says the genie.
POOF!! He is turned into an Aboriginal!


What is the difference between Aborigine and white guy selling drugs?
One is a pharmacist, the other a drug dealer.


The Australian government dispatches a civil official to collect information on the lifestyle of a remote Aboriginal tribe.
The civil servant questions a tribesman about his life, and ultimately the topic of personal cleanliness comes up.
“How often do you wash your penis?” the official inquires.
“Penis?” said the tribesman. What exactly is a Penis?
The civil servant drops his pants and shows him his penis, thinking this is the shortest way to explain.
Later, the tribesman discusses the survey with a buddy.
He asks another, “Do you know what a penis is?”
The other guy replies, “No, what is it?”
“It’s like a dick, but smaller.”


Recommended: Dick Jokes


Why do Aborigines have such large noses?
One nostril is for premium, the other unleaded.


An aboriginal son asked his dad how they come up with names for their children.
The father replied, “Well you see son, when your sister was born I looked out of the tipi and I saw a deer eating grass so I named her Grazing Deer. When your brother was born I looked out of the tipi and saw an eagle flying so I named him Soaring Eagle. Why do you ask Two Dogs Fucking?”


What do you call an Aboriginal in a red Volkswagon?
Jaffa.


What do you call an Aboriginal in a red Ferrari?
Thief.


2 Australian men were in a truck on a road trip.
The passenger was sleeping when he awakes to a loud bump.
“What was that?” He asks the driver.
“Nothing to worry about, I just hit an Aboriginal” he calmly explained.
An hour goes by when the passenger is startled once again by a noisy thump.
“What on Earth was that?” He asks and again the driver reassures him it was just an aboriginal.
Another hour goes by when the passenger is awoken by three loud thumps.
“Jesus mate, what the fuck did we hit this time?” he asked.
“I had to go through a letterbox and a fence to get that one,” the driver replies.


What is the difference between a dead kangaroo and a dead aboriginal on the road?
The kangaroo had swerve marks.


What do you call 100 aborigines at the bottom of the ocean?
Clean up Australia day.


What happens when you steal a bunch of Aboriginal children?
You get a smarter society.


Are these jokes on aboriginals funny? Have a better one? Let us know in the comment section below!

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