99 Funny Emo Jokes to Brighten Your Edgy Day

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Jessica Amlee


Emo culture, the kingdom of black eyeliner and feelings deeper than a bottomless pit at a My Chemical Romance concert, is more than just a fashion statement – it’s a lifestyle. This culture emerged as a music genre that quickly morphed into a way of life, embracing the full spectrum of emotions, especially the moody, introspective ones. It’s like being in a permanent state of poetic brooding, where every raindrop is a metaphor and every heartbreak is a song waiting to happen. Emos are not just about sadness and angst; they’re also about expressing oneself in the most artistically dramatic way possible. And just like every subculture, emo culture isn’t immune to a little light-hearted ribbing – enter emo jokes.

Emo jokes, the comic relief in a sea of existential despair, are like the unexpected sunbeam on a cloudy day. These jokes playfully tease the stereotypes of emo culture, from the overuse of hair straighteners to the philosophical depth of a puddle. It’s like poking fun at a friend who takes their ‘nobody understands me’ phase a little too seriously. Imagine if emo jokes were a band; they’d be called ‘My Comical Romance’. They’re the kind of jokes that even the most somber emo kid would crack a smile at – though, only when no one’s looking. Emo jokes are a reminder that sometimes, taking life a bit less seriously can be as refreshing as a bright-colored shirt in a sea of black. So, let’s all put on our best emo faces (complete with a single, solitary tear, of course), and dive into the amusingly melodramatic world of emo jokes, where the only thing deeper than the lyrics is the laughter.

Dark Emo Jokes

An emo girl and a squirrel both fall out of a tree. who hits the ground first?
The squirrel. The rope stops the emo girl.

Why do emo kids hate high fives?
They’re always left hanging.

What’s an Emo’s favorite exercise?
The dead hang.

Why do emo kids cost so much?
Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.

What’s it called when you give emo some rope as a present?

Why do emos get employed by sports companies?
For their cutting-edge analysis.

What did the blind kid say after touching the emo kid’s hand?
“I ain’t reading all that.”

Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?
So he could wake up inside.

What do you call an emo vegetable?
A despair-agus.

How do you get emo off your balcony?
You encourage them.

Recommended: Depression Jokes

What’s the difference between a swede and emo?
A swede is harder to cut.

Why do emo kids love drawing?
Paper cuts.

Why did the emo kid get mad?
I wore a “Just Do It” shirt.

It has been rumored that Disney is developing a movie based on suicide. The title?
Finding emo.

Do you know what’s the worst part of a edgy joke?
If it’s edgy enough the emo kids steal it.

Why are there so few emo athletes?
Because even if they make the team, they still get cut.

Why are emo’s great at summaries?
They always cut the unnecessary.

Why do emos suck at playing tic tac toe on their wrists?
Because when they win they lose.

What game do emo people play?
Cut the rope.

Recommended: Suicide Jokes

Why are emo kids such good hunters?
They know where all the vital points are.

How do emos sink a boat?
They locate the vessel and then slice through it.

Why did the emo girl get kicked out of hot topic?
She was cutting in line.

What did the drunk emo say to the bartender?
Nothing! He was hung over.

Why didn’t the emo attend her grandma’s funeral?
She thought her grandma was trying to flex.

What’s the most emo country in the world?

What do you call a video of an emo, appearing in a video game?
A cut scene.

What falls to the ground first if an apple and an emo kid fall from a tree?
The apple because the rope caught the emo kid.

When does an emo kid get jealous?
When its phone dies.

Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep.

Why isn’t the Moon Emo anymore?
Turns out it was just a phase.

How many emos are like anagrams?

What do you call those who remain My Chemical Romance fans?

What is the connection between Emos and Darth Vader?
They both dress in all black and none of them has a father.

What do you call flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Who cares, let them cry in the dark.

Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?
It was the Happy Meal.

Anthony went into the bakery and ordered Emo Cake.
“Emo cake?” says the baker. ” What exactly is it?”
Anthony says, “It’s the cake that cuts itself.”

How do you pull emo from a tree?
Cut the rope.

What’s the similarity between emos and unsalted popcorn?
They’re both white and flavorless.

What do emo birds call their mouths?

What do you call an obese emo teen?
An edgelard.

Recommended: Fat Jokes

What do you call a gang of emo kids?
Suicide Squad.

How are cats and emos different from one another?
The cat still has 8 other lives.

Why does emo get tattoos of fruits on their arms?
They are playing Fruit Ninja.

What will you call Sonic if he’s emo?
Sonic the Edgy hog.

Why would the emo swallow a clock?
So he could wake up inside.

Why are Emos still around?
Because the suffering never ends.

What is the best way to get emo off your balcony?
You encourage them.

What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?
A toaster.

What is the favorite game of emo?

Why do people wish their lawn grass was emo?
So it could cut itself.

A group of friends started an emo salsa band.
They call themselves HisPanic at the Disco.

What is the difference between pizza and emo pizza?
Emo pizza kind of cuts itself.

In Hawaii, what do you call an emo child?
A tropical depression.

Recommended: Hawaii Jokes

Why was the emo kid thrown out of the amusement park?
He kept cutting in line.

What is an emo’s favorite internet browser?
Microsoft Edge.

Why shouldn’t you go to an emo barber?
Instead of cutting your hair he will just keep cutting himself.

What do you name a veggie that is emo?
A despair-agus.

Emo friend: Wanna hang out today?
Will: No thanks, I think I still have a couple of decent years left to live!

What did the emo dolphin say?
There is no porpoise in life.

What do you call an emo cancer patient?

What happened when the emo kid applied for the marines last week?
He made the cut.

How do you irritate emo?
Give them a dull razor.

What happens when two emo contest the elections?
They’re on a knife edge.

What are the similarities between an emo girl and a blind girl?
Their favorite color is black.

Recommended: Helen Keller Jokes

What’s the difference between roadkilled emo and a roadkilled hedgehog?
The hedgehog has skid marks.

How do two emos greet each other?
With open arms.

What do you call a robot emo that enjoys dark humor?
Cutting-edge technology.

What was on the emo kid’s wish list for Christmas?
A shaving kit.

What do you name a group of muppets in an emo band?
Fragile Rock.

How do emo’s prefer their meat prepared?
Medium rawr.

How do Emo people take their coffee?

What caused the emo kid to leave the bar?
It was happy hour.

How does an emo kid calculate his or her net worth?
By scanning the barcode on his forearm to the register.

An emo kid, a Jew, a Mexican, and a black guy jump off a building, who wins?
The youtube channel of the white guy recording it.

If you are making a film with emos, what should you avoid doing?
Saying “cut!” at the end of each scene.

Recommended: Dark Humor Jokes With No Limits

What do you call an emo tree?
A weeping willow.

What do you call an emo horse?
A night mare.

What makes emo kids jump?

Why can’t emo kids have ADD?
They’re already scatter brained.

For what reason do Cannibals prefer emo people?
They come with grill marks.

What do you call an emo berry?
A blackberry.

Which ones can never be emo?
The ones who are not cut for that lifestyle.

Why should emos and goths wear more gold?
It’s pretty metal.

Why can’t emo kids get ADHD?
Because they’re already scatterbrained.

Recommended: ADHD Jokes

What’s the difference between an emo kid and a gallon of milk?
The milk won’t hang itself after you dump it.

What is the term for an emo cat?
An outcat.

What do you call an emo kid in a coma?
An edgetable.

Why do some people dislike emo jokes?
There are 13 reasons why!

Why did the emo try and cross the road?
Because there was heavy traffic.

Why did the emo kid cry after he crossed the road?
He didn’t get hit.

Why didn’t the emo attend her grandma’s funeral?
She thought her grandma was trying to flex.

How do emo people support themselves?
With a rope.

What do you call an emo a capella group?
Self Harmony.

Why was Oedipus the most emo Greek king?
He panicked at the disc-throw.

Which of an emo and an apple falls from a tree first to the ground?
The emo because was already grounded when his parents caught him wearing makeup.

Recommended: Orphan Jokes

How do emo kids play long jump?
They see how far they can jump from the window

What do you call 2 emos making out in a science classroom?
My Chemical Romance.

How are Emos and Jews similar to one another
Both prefer to cut it.

What are the similarities between a normal student and an emo student?
They both get a bullet to the head.

As we wrap up this laughter-filled journey through dark emo jokes, we want to extend a warm invitation to our readers to join the fun by sharing their own creative and witty emo jokes in the comments section below. Don’t be shy, as we can’t wait to read your hilarious contributions, and who knows, your joke might even be featured in our next compilation of emo humor! Happy joking, everyone!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

3 thoughts on “99 Funny Emo Jokes to Brighten Your Edgy Day”

  1. In high school, I attempted to join an Emo clique. I became very hesitant when the initiation ceremony required I slit my arm with a razor blade.
    Needless to say, I didn’t make the cut.


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