40 Angel Jokes And Puns To Give You Devil Smile

Funny Angel Jokes on Heaven
Funny Angel Jokes

Angel jokes are a type of joke that involve angels or beings with supernatural powers. They often involve humorous or absurd situations involving angels and their interactions with gods, humans, and other beings. 

These jokes can be a way for people to explore and make light of concepts that are often seen as sacred or mysterious. Humor can be a way for people to cope with difficult or complex emotions and situations, and making jokes about angels and other supernatural beings can be a way to add some levity to discussions or conversations about spiritual matters.

Funny Angel Jokes

Hey girl, are you an angel?
Cause so was satan.

How do you turn a demon into an angel?
You scare the hell out of them.

Yo mama so white, when she made a snow angel, she was declared missing.

Did you hear about the man who was once visited by an angel but only described the measurements of a triangle to him?
He said, “It felt like a sine from God.”

Have you heard about the Angel of Death that’s not so intelligent?
The Dim Reaper.

What does an angel say at a pastry shop?
“Donut be afraid.”

What is the difference between an angel of love jumping a motorcycle through a ring of fire and a Karen?
One is a cupid stunt and the other is a….!

What did the angel say to the other angel at the party?
“Are you heaven a good time?”

During wedding preparations, a couple is killed in a car accident.
When they get to heaven, the man approaches an angel and describes the situation, asking whether they may arrange a wedding in heaven.
The angel says, “Allow me to look.”
After a few months, it returns to the couple and says, “Everything is ready, you guys can marry.”
The bride inquires, “What if we can’t get along and want to divorce? Can you arrange that as well?”
The angel roars in a rage, “It took me 4 months to find a priest in here, how many more do I need to find a lawyer do you think?”

Why do angels smell so good?
Because their scent from God.

What do angels use to make music?

What do you call a nun in heaven?
If you guessed “heaven nun” or “Angel nun” you are wrong. The answer is “Nun of the above.”

What’s a fountain after an angel is removed?
A sans seraph font.

Why did Saint Joseph think that the angel who visited him was stuttering?
Because the angel told him to marry Mary.

When Jesus was resurrected, an angel escorted him to Heaven in a flying car.
As the car ascended to the skies, it suddenly stalled and fell.
One of the disciples looked up and said, “Guess he shouldn’t have driven emmanuel.”

Angel: Hey, Jesus! Some atheists are waiting for you at the gates of heaven!
Jesus: Tell them I’m not here.

Recommended: Jesus Jokes

Two angels were really sad they were out of pot. Suddenly one spotted Jesus in the distance and breathed a sigh of relief.
“Fear not,” he said to the other, “For he has resin.”

What is an angel’s favorite video game?

Why don’t Angels use umbrellas?
Because they’re too holy.

What gel do priests apply?

What weapon do angels use?
A HARPoon.

What’s a dog’s favorite Christmas carol?
Bark, The Herald Angels Sing.

This pastor decided to skip church one Sunday morning and go play golf.
He told his assistant that he wasn’t feeling well. He drove to a golf course in another city, so nobody would know him.
He teed off on the first hole. A massive gust of wind caught his ball, carried it an extra hundred yards, and dropped it right in the hole, for a 450-yard hole in one.
An angel looked at God and said “What’d you do that for?” God smiled and said, “Who’s he going to tell?”

Yo mama so ugly, an angel delivered a letter from God that said, “My bad.”

What does an angel use to light his cigarette?
A match made in heaven.
What kind of cigarettes does he have?
Holy Smokes.

What do you call someone with a lisp who murders angels and ghosts?
Ethereal killer.

Recommended: Ghost Jokes

Did you hear about the guy whose wife is an angel?
All his friends are jealous because their wives are still alive.

Why did the Italian get kicked out of heaven?
He ate too much angel hair.

Little Johnny goes to his mother and asks, “Mom did you say my baby brother is an angel?”
“Yes, he is,” said the mother.
“Then why didn’t he fly when I threw him out from the balcony?”

What is an angel’s favorite kind of tortilla chip dip?

What do angels serve at birthday parties in Heaven?
Angel food cake.

The angel of death appears before a lawyer and says, “Your time has come.”
The lawyer starts crying and wailing, “But I’m only forty.”
Angel of death says, “Not according to your billable hours.”

A child asks his mother, “Did you know our maid was an angel?”
Mom replied, “Why do you say that?”
The child says, “Well yesterday she was in the kitchen with both her hands in the air and she was screaming: Oh my God, I’m coming, I’m coming!”
“If dad wasn’t there to hold her waist, she would have gone straight to heaven!”

Which sharks do you find in heaven?
Angel sharks.

Why did the angel lose her job?
She had harp failure.

Women are like angels
Even if they lose their wings,
they still manage to fly.
Just on a broom.

Recommended: Witch Jokes

A guy is having a beer with his wife.
After some time, he says to her, “You are my dream, my angel, my love. I don’t know what I would do without you. I love you.”
The wife says, “Is that you talking or is it the beer?”
Husband says, “It’s me talking to the beer.”

What kind of water does an Angel like?
Holy water.

Have you got a better Angel joke? Please leave your Heaven jokes and one-liners in the comments section!

What do you think?

Written by Jessica Amlee

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Known for her sharp wit and clever wordplay, Jessica has authored several popular joke books. A regular at stand-up comedy clubs, she never fails to leave her audience in stitches. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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