Halloween costumes are the lifeblood of October 31st, a night when ghouls, witches, and an assortment of pop-culture icons take over the streets in a mesmerizing masquerade. This spooky season ritual allows both kids and adults to embrace their alter-egos, be it a terrifying creature from the netherworld or a superhero with flashy capes. Costumes are the key to unlocking the magical realm of Halloween, making the line between our world and the supernatural deliciously blurry. The creativity and flair that go into stitching, crafting, and sometimes last-minute duct-taping these disguises are what transform an ordinary night into an enchanting parade of fantastical beings.
Now, not all Halloween costumes are born equal, and this is where the fun, spooky banter of Halloween costume jokes comes in. Ever seen a vampire in sneakers? Or perhaps a werewolf with a comb-over? How about a mummy wrapped in last week’s newspaper? These quirky twists on traditional disguises serve up a buffet of chuckles. While the aim of most costumes is to impress, sometimes the funniest ones are those that are ‘bewitchingly’ off-mark. Because in the realm of Halloween, where spookiness reigns supreme, it’s always a howl when things go hilariously awry! So, the next time you see a zombie in a tutu, remember, the spirit of Halloween thrives not just in the scares, but in the shared laughs over spooky slip-ups!
Best Halloween Costume Jokes
Why shouldn’t you wear a dinosaur costume in bad neighborhoods during Halloween?
You’ll get Jurasskicked.
Wanna need a free Halloween costume idea?
Set yourself on fire and go as the planet.
An employee got sent home from work for my Halloween costume.
Apparently, being a brillo pad was too abrasive for some people.
A ghost walks up to the door.
Hey, don’t cry – it just a Halloween costume!
In 2023 we’re not calling them Halloween costumes anymore,
It’s occultural appropriation.
Yo mama so ugly she went to a party and the host said, “Oh I’m sorry. The Halloween costume party isn’t until next week.
Which Halloween costume has the hardest time getting to third base?
The Headless horseman.
This guy goes to a Halloween costume party, but he’s just wearing street clothes, and he has his girlfriend sitting on his shoulders.
The host says to him, “Dude, this is a Halloween party! You’re supposed to be wearing a costume?”
The guy replies, “I am wearing a costume! I’m a snail!”
“You’re a snail?”
“Yeah, I’m a snail,” says the guy. Then he points to his girlfriend and says, “This is Michelle.”
A kid asks his greedy father for money to buy a police costume for Halloween.
He told him just go undercover.
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A guy dressed as a Chicken for Halloween finds a girl dressed as an egg.
Apparently, the answer is Chicken.
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer.
“Ah, October! Almost time for Halloween. This season reminds me of how I met my wife. I went to a costume party and saw her across the room. Standing there all thin and tall and gorgeous next to her fat friend. They’d come to the party together dressed as the number ten,” he tells the bartender. “That’s when I knew, she was the one.”
Did you hear about the man who needs to physically disappear out of existence for his next Halloween costume?
He’ll be the wage gap.
What did the jalapeno dress up as for Halloween?
A Ghost Pepper.
A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party. He doesn’t know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a costume company to explain his problem. A few days later he received a parcel with the following note:
Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a pirate’s outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with the wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate.
Very Truly Yours, Acme Costume Co
The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasized his wooden leg and so he writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by and he receives another parcel and a note which says:
Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a monk’s habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head, you will really look the part.
Very Truly Yours, Acme Costume Co
Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head. So again he writes the company another nasty letter of complaint. The next week he gets a small parcel and a note that reads:
Dear Sir, Please find the enclosed bottle of molasses. Pour the molasses over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your rear and go as a caramel apple.
What did the spoon dress up as to the Halloween party?
A cereal killer.
Little Johnny wore his Halloween costume to Christmas dinner.
Dad allowed it since oct(31) = dec(25).
A nurse walks into a bar and orders a beer. “Are you coming to our big Halloween party?” the bartender asks.
“Yes, I’ve already planned my costume. I’m going to come as a horrible monster made entirely out of blood,” the nurse says. “I’m going to be a hemogoblin.”
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Why is everyone posting one-legged Halloween costumes?
Some can’t stand it.
Why didn’t the British boy’s mother ever dress up for Halloween?
Because she already was a mummy.
Jean Claude Van Dam, Steven Segal, and Arnold Schwarzenegger all decide to go out trick-or-treating as musical composers for Halloween.
They go into a costume store and look for masks. Jean Claude sees a costume that he likes and says, “I think I’ll go as Beethoven.” Steven Segal sees a costume that grabs his attention and says, “I’ll be Mozart.”
Arnold had a tough time finding a costume that he liked, but he eventually found one that appeased his interest. He picked up a costume and said, “I’ll be Bach.”
What material did Mario use to make his Halloween costume?
Denim denim denim.
Why did the man dressed as a ghost get kicked out of the Halloween party?
He showed up sheetfaced.
There’s a guy born without a body. He was born as a head, nothing else.
The doctors said he would never live, but somehow, he did. He had a rough childhood, but he learned to get around, rolling where he needed to, and putting up with the teasing and looks. He just tried to fit in as best he could.
By the time he’s in high school, everyone knows him, and just calls him “Head”. He still has a little trouble fitting in, but everyone likes him. He goes to the school Halloween party as a soccer ball, everyone loves it.
So one day, he’s rolling his way to class and sees a poster for prom coming up. There’s a girl in his next class, Jessica, who he would desperately love to ask out for prom, but without a body, he can’t dance. He’s torn up about it for a week and finally decides to just do it, and ask her.
“Oh, hey Jessica!”
“So, I was wondering if uh, you’d like to go to prom with me next week”
(Head doesn’t know that Jessica was already going to prom with some other guy, but Jessica is too nice to say no, so she comes up with a better answer;)
“Sure, Head, I’ll go to prom with you on one condition; You have to turn yourself into a 10lb tomato.”
Head is just crushed. If he only knew how to make himself into a 10lb tomato, he’d go to prom with the girl of his dreams. He spends all week thinking about what to do, and then he remembers his soccer ball costume. Two days before prom, he paints himself bright red and dyes his hair green.
The next day of school, everyone is looking at the disembodied head painted like a tomato a little weirder than usual. Jessica comes up to him and asks “Oh my God! Head! What did you do??”
“Well, Jessica, I turned myself into a 10lb tomato just like you asked! So, we’re still on for prom, right?”
Jessica realizes how serious he is, and still doesn’t want to say no.
“Oh Head, I meant a real tomato, silly!”
Head is even more crushed than before. Prom is the next night, and he needs to become a real tomato somehow. So that night, he eats all the tomatoes in the house and goes to sleep with the tomato plants in his mom’s garden. He prays until he falls asleep, “Oh god, oh god oh god, won’t you make me a real tomato?”
The next morning he wakes up, and lo and behold, he’s a real tomato! He skips school that day, too excited, and gets himself all ready for prom that night. A few hours before the dance, he rolled himself over to Jessica’s house and tried to knock on the door. Jessica comes out and looks at the massive tomato kinda funny.
“Hey, Jessica! I turned myself into a real tomato just like you asked! We’re still on for prom, right?”
Jessica’s date pulls up at that very second, and she realizes there’s no good way out of it. So she looks at Head, and she looks at her date, and all around her to see if anyone else is watching.
And then she squishes Head, scraps him into the bushes, and goes to have a very nice Prom with her date.
The moral of the story: Quit while you’re a head.
Did you hear about the dog who tried to dress up as a cat but got sick at a Halloween costume party?
He said he wasn’t feline well.
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What do ants dress up as on Halloween?
A girl went to a Halloween party dressed as a harp.
The host asked her, “What are you?”
The girl answered, “Oh, I’m dressed as a harp.”
The host said, “Your costume is too short to be a harp!”
The girl asked, “Are you calling me a lyre?!”
What did Chewbacca say when he dressed up as Jason Voorhees for Halloween?
“CHEW CHEW CHEW BACA CA”
What is Charles Darwin’s go-to Halloween costume?
A dad buys his son a Halloween costume.
“Dad, can I take the price tag off now? It’s really annoying.”
“No, keep it until we get home so we can really scare mom!”
What do a lighthouse, rose trellis, windstorm, dune, and Halloween costume make?
A beacon, lattice, and tornado sand witch.
What did the cranberry dress up as for Halloween?
A married couple was invited to a masked Halloween ball. On the night of the party, the wife had a headache and told her husband to go to the event alone. Reluctantly, he agreed. He put on his bear costume, grabbed the head piece and left. The wife fell asleep and woke up an hour later feeling great so she decided to go to the party after all. It occurred to her that, since her husband didn’t know what costume she was wearing, she’d be able to see how he behaved when she wasn’t around.
As soon as she arrived, she spotted her husband in his bear costume flirting with every woman in sight. She approached him, wanting to see just how far he would go, and after a few drinks he propositioned her. They went into the bathroom and had sex. Just before unmasking at midnight, the wife slipped away and went home. She was sitting up in bed fuming when her husband returned. She asked about his night. He said, “Oh, it was the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you’re not there.”
“Really?” she said, getting angry. “You didn’t meet anyone interesting?”
He replied, “I didn’t talk to anyone new. It was pretty boring. The guys and I went into the spare room and played poker all night.”
She said, “You must have been uncomfortable wearing your bear costume playing poker.”
Her husband replied, “Actually, I gave my costume to my dad.”
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What do you call a disgusting homemade Halloween costume?
Gross Domestic Product.
Did you hear about the train that dressed up for Halloween?
It became a fright train.
There are three naked men outside a Halloween party.
The one guideline to enter the party was that the person trying to get in must have a costume. Near the Halloween party, there was a trash can. None of the men had costumes, obviously, so they agreed to search through the trash can to look for anything to wear as a costume.
The first man found a bucket of red paint. He decided to cover his whole body in red paint. He walked up to the bouncer of the party. The bouncer asked, “What is your costume?” The first man said, “I’m anger.” He was let in.
The second man found a bucket of blue paint. He covered his whole body in blue paint and walked up to the bouncer. The bouncer asked, “What’s your costume?” The second man replied, “I’m sadness.” He was also let in.
The third man found an old, rotten pear in the trash can. He couldn’t find anything else worthy of putting on his body, so he jammed his dick into the pear. Confidently, he walked up to the bouncer.
The bouncer was disgusted. “What the hell is your costume supposed to be?!” He exclaimed.
The third man replied “Don’t you see? I’m f*cking despair.”
Why did the French Halloween ghost costume smell so bad?
Because it was made of old sheet.
What would Wolverine dress up as for Halloween?
A huge axe man.
A young boy walks into a Halloween teen party with no shirt on, only wearing loose jeans.
The host says, “Well, this is a costume party.”
The young boy responds, “I’m in costume. I’m a premature ejaculation.”
The host asks, “How’s that?”
“I just came in my pants.”
What should a person do if it’s Halloween and they don’t have a costume?
Just wear wolf.
A black man and his wife were invited to a Halloween costume party. The man being a very busy person when it comes to work tells his wife “Look I need you to buy me a costume for the party since I’m busy with work.” She agrees and he goes off to work as usual.
He comes home that night and lays out on his bed is a Superman costume. He looks over at his wife and says “I can’t wear this, I mean seriously? Have you ever seen a black Superman?” She nods and apologizes and says she’ll get him a different costume.
The next night he comes home and on his bed is a Batman costume. He puts his palm in his face and says “Really honey? You’ve got to be kidding me. Have you ever seen a black Batman? Take this sh*t back and get me a different costume.” She grits her teeth a little but agrees.
The next night, he comes home, and laying out on his bed are three white plates, a big white belt, and a 2×4 of lumber. He looks down at these random objects and asks his wife “What the hell are these supposed to be?” She smirks and says “Well, you didn’t like Batman or Superman because they weren’t black, so I figured you could wear those three white plates and go to the party as a domino. If you don’t like that, you can wear that big white belt, and you can go as an Oreo. If you still don’t like that, you can take that 2×4 and shove it up your a**, and you can go as a fudgecicle!”
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Did you hear about the girl whose anti-vax sister wouldn’t let her take her niece trick-or-treating, even though she had the perfect Halloween costume?
Stupid cemetery rules.
What’s the top halloween costume worn in New Jersey?
It’s Halloween in Jamaica and some friends are organising a costume party. Everyone’s told that the theme of the party is Moods and Feelings.
One night itself, there’s a knock on the door and when the host opens it, standing on the porch are two guys, completely naked, except for the fact that one guy has his c*ck buried inside a pear and the other is balls deep in a bowl of custard.
The host looks at them before asking, “Guys, what the f*ck have you come dressed as??”
One of the guys smiles and says “Mon, I’ve come in Despair and he’s f*cking Disgusted”
What did the rapper call the costume he wore to a Halloween party?
Did you hear about the man who is going as cocaine for Halloween?
That way someone will do him in the bathroom.
A guy walks into a bar.
“Hey, what happened to that guy that was out front selling those inflatable Tyrannosaurus Rex Halloween costumes?” the guy asks the bartender.
“Oh, yeah the ATF came by and picked him up,” the bartender says. “Turns out he was a small arms dealer.”
What kind of makeup do you use for Halloween costumes?
What was the Halloween costume your mom and Karen wore the year they became besties?
A pair of scissors.
A pair of hot twin sisters, one blonde, and the other brunette get invited to a Halloween party. The theme is “snacks” so they decide to go as a pair of popular candy bars. The party is a real blast and the brunette is having tons of fun, but the blonde is just kind of off to herself with no one giving her any attention. Any time a guy approaches the pair he gives all his attention to the brunette. She makes out with a dude dressed as M&Ms, and another dude dressed as Doritos. Eventually, she hooks up and disappears with a guy in a hot dog costume.
“I don’t get it,” the blonde complains to her sister when she eventually reappears with a big satisfied smile on her face. “We are virtually identical in everything but hair color, but at this party, you get all the guys and I get nothing but awkward stares.”
“Don’t you get it, sis?” says the brunette. “It’s your costume. Almond Joy’s got nuts, but Mounds don’t.”
For Halloween, a classmate dressed up as a stormtrooper and shot up the school.
Don’t worry, no one got hurt.
Does anyone need a slutty costume for Halloween?
Just dress up as one of the professors, they barely cover anything
What do bees dress up as on Halloween?
Halloween is for dressing up as something you’re not.
That’s why most girls go as something sexy.
Do you have a funny Halloween Costume joke? Write down your own puns in the comment section below!