70 Funny Nazi Jokes And Puns Beyond Meinkampfort Levels

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Jessica Amlee


Humor, including jokes about dark or painful historical periods like the Nazi era, can be a way for individuals to cope with or make sense of such troubling times. By creating a sense of absurdity or irreverence, it allows people to engage with and express feelings about events that may otherwise be too disturbing or overwhelming.

While it’s difficult to definitively say why Nazi jokes might be popular, it could be related to the concept of “gallows humor,” which is humor about very unpleasant, serious, or painful circumstances. Such humor can be a way of confronting, coping with, and pushing back against the horrors and absurdities of life. In the specific case of Nazi jokes, they often underscore the absurdity and evil of the Nazi regime, serving as a form of social commentary.

However, it’s important to note that jokes about the Nazi era can be offensive and disrespectful, especially to those who have been directly affected by the atrocities committed during that time. Furthermore, such jokes can trivialize the gravity of the Holocaust and other acts of genocide, potentially fostering ignorance or indifference to these historical events. Therefore, while humor can be a powerful tool for grappling with difficult subjects, it should be approached with sensitivity and respect for the suffering experienced by many.

Dark Nazi Jokes

What does a Nazi say when someone sneezes?

Why do retired Nazis make good animal doctors?
Because they’re all Veteran Aryans.

What do Nazi surgeons use to stop disease spreading?
Local antisemetic.

Isn’t weird that the Nazis couldn’t find where Anne Frank was hiding?
In Amsterdam, there are signs pointing to her house everywhere.

Yo mama so Fat, that she destroyed the Nazis with her farts.

What did Hitler say when he was blindfolded?
“I can Nazi.”

A neo-nazi walks into a bar.
How someone can hit their head multiple times on a metal bar while lying on the ground is a mystery, but that’s what the eyewitnesses are saying.

In 1940 Goebbels made a speech proclaiming that the Swastika was an example of the Golden Ratio.
Turns out it was a fibbin’ Nazi.

A Nazi walks into a bar with a pig under his arm.
The bartender says, “Get that filthy animal out of my bar.”
The pig says, “Can I get a drink first?”

Do you know the problem with fashion nazis?
They’re always arguing over who has the best jeans.

What did the Nazi interrogator say to the clock that would only tick?
“Ve have vays of making you tock!”

Isn’t surprising that just how the German people could fall for Hitler and the Nazis?
There were an awful lot of red flags.

A divorced dad, a Nazi, and a crazy person walk into a bar.
The bartender looks up from polishing a glass and says, “What can I get Ye?”

What do Germans love about Americans?
When you say Nazi, people no longer think of Germany.

What do Elon Musk and the Nazis have in common?
They both give children serial numbers.

A Nazi walks into a bar, looks around, and notices an older orthodox Jewish man seated at a nearby table. Barman, he says, “A round on me, for all your patrons, but not for the old Jewish geezer right there.”
As everyone in the bar receives their drinks, he looks directly at the Jew with a nasty little smile. Surprisingly the Jew nods his head and sends a warm smile back. The Nazi is somewhat miffed, as this was not the reaction he expected. So he goes back to the bar
“Barman, a second round for everyone but him, and this time take it all from the top shelf” Nazi looks again at the Jew, and notices that he is STILL smiling back, and even warmer than before
“Is that Jew a complete fool or what?” he asks the barman Bartender responds: “Oh no my generous friend, that gentleman is my boss and the owner of the bar.”

What was Hitler’s problem when the lights went out?
He could Nazi.

Recommended: Hitler Jokes

What did the Nazis call his safe space?
“Mein Kampfert zone.”

Why is Z the only letter in the alphabet you should be friends with?
Because all other letters are Nazis.

How many Nazis does it take to screw in 6 million lightbulbs?
One. The rest were just following orders.
How many Nazi’s does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Führer than you might think.

What do you call a Nazi Cowboy?
The fascist gun in the west.

What do you call the leader of the Nazis if he was warm?

What shape was the flag in Nazi Germany?

How do historians measure the impact of Hitler and the Nazi regime?
The Reichter Scale.

An Iranian, an Israeli, and a Nazi are walking through the desert.
Suddenly, they happen upon a magic lamp! Excited, they rub the lamp and a Genie appears. “Thank you for releasing me! In exchange, I will grant you each wish.”
The Iranian thinks for a minute, and says, “My people get pushed around by the rest of the world, but we would be fine if we had 1,000 tanks”. The Genie says “Granted.”
The Israeli thinks for a minute and says, “My country is in danger now because of these tanks, I wish for a wall around Israel that will keep out these tanks and protect us.” The Genie says, “Granted.”
The Nazi thinks for a minute, and says, “Tell me about this wall.” The Genie replies, “Well, it is 1,000 meters tall, 100 meters thick, and made of solid steel. The only way in or out is by helicopter or plane.” The Nazi thinks for a bit, and asks, “Nothing can get through?”
“Correct,” says the Genie.
The Nazi says, “Fill it with water.”

What does a nazi turkey say?
“Goebbel goebbel.”

What are German Nazis and grammar nazis both guilty of?
Crimes against piece.

Recommended: Grammar Nazi Jokes

What was the Neo-Nazi’s favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.

What’s the difference between the Nazi Swastika and the Hindu Swastika?
The axis.

A Escalade with four Nazis crashed off a cliff. The news is calling it a tragedy.
Because a Escalade holds eight.

What do you call an aquatic Nazi?

Three Nazis walk into a bar.
Their commanding officer walks up to the bartender and says, “Congratulations, you are now a member of the German Army. Your first order is to kill everyone in this room who is not Aryan.”
The bartender complies. He takes a machine gun out from under the bar stand and kills everyone in the room. The Nazis, the customers, even a stray dog just outside the bar. Everyone in the room is killed.
Then, a man walks out of the bathroom and sees the carnage. He turns to the bartender and says, “Brian, what did you do?? Why did you kill all these people?!?”
The bartender casually responds, “Oh, Aryan. We were just talking about you.”

Why weren’t the Nazi canine units executed for war crimes?
They were just following odors.

It’s 1944 Nazi Germany, what are the first song lyrics to come to mind?
“I’m waking up, To ash and dust.”

What do the Nazis call Auschwitz?
Jewrassic park.

What’s a Nazi’s favorite Pokemon?

On his deathbed, an old jew says to his wife, “Oh, Sarah, when the shop burned down you were right beside me, no?
“Sure I was, Moshe,” answered the wife.
“When the Nazis drove us out of our beloved Deutschland you were beside me again, no?”
“I was, Moshe.”
“And now you’re at my death bed, aren’t you?”
“I am, darling.”
“I’m starting to think you’re bad luck, Sarah.”

What do Nazis and baseballs have in common?
Everyone cheers when you hit them with a bat.

How many Nazis does it take to finish a race?
None, Nazis can’t finish a race.

What did the jew say when he saw the Nazi?
“Aww shwitz.”

Why do neo-nazis drink milk?
Because they hate juice.

An English spy, a Scottish spy, and an Irish spy are captured by the Nazis.
The Nazis ask if they have any last wishes.
The Irishman says “I want the Irish national anthem to be played before I die.”
The Scottish man says, “I want the Scottish anthem to be played on bagpipes before I die.”
The Englishman says, “I wanna die first.”

Did you hear about the person who proofread Hitler’s speeches?
He would technically be a grammar nazi.

Yo mama so Jewish, she snitched on the other Jews to the Nazis for a reward.

What did the Nazi boot say to the other Nazi boot?
“We must kill all the shoes.”

Two Nazis with a lisp raced each other.
They wanted to see who was the fascist.

Why did Hitler become a racist genocidal dictator after failing art school?
Because he never learned to mix colors.

A Chemist, Biologist, and Physicist were captured by Nazis.
The Nazis had taken all three scientists to the woods and lined them up on their knees with their hands on their heads. They were about to be executed.
The Nazis aim their guns, and the biologist screams, “Bear.” The Nazis turn around expecting a bear, but none was there. The biologist had escaped the Nazis.
So they aim their guns again and the physicist yells, “Lightning.” Again, the Nazis turn around to look for lightning but don’t see any. The physicist had now escaped.
With just the chemist left, the Nazis aim their guns and the chemist yells, “Fire!”

During the raid of Hitler’s residence, a Nazi is asked at gunpoint, “Where is Hitler’s stash?”
“Is under nose.” the Nazi replies.

What did the Nazi do after World War II?
He became a veteran Aryan.

Recommended: World War 2 Jokes

What is the main attraction at a Nazi Theme park?

What does the old Nazi call his favorite reclining chair?
“Mein Kampfy chair.”

Three Jews are in a Nazi concentration camp.
The Nazi officer approaches the first Jew and asks him, “How high can you jump?”
“One meter,” he replies.
“Not bad,” says the Nazi officer and gives him some bread and water.
He then asks the second Jew the same question. The second Jew says he can jump two meters high.
“Very good,” says the Nazi officer and gives him some wine and fish.
The Nazi officer then asks the third Jew the same question. The third Jew, thinking he understood the gist of the game, proudly announces that he can jump four meters high.
The Nazi officer shouts, “Shoot him, he can jump over the fence!”

What do you call a Nazi that’s missing an arm?

What do Nazi pilots eat for breakfast?

What percentage of Germans are not nazis?
ninety-nine point nein nein nein nein nein nein nein percent.

Why did Hitler create the Nazi Party?
Because it was Fascionable at the time.

It was in the late 1930s in Germany and a Jewish man was sitting in a restaurant reading a Nazi newspaper.
A friend of his, who passed by, noticed this strange phenomenon. Very upset, he approached the newspaper reader. “Moshe, have you lost your mind? Why are you reading the Nazi newspaper?”Moshe replied, “I used to read the Jewish newspaper, but what did I find? Jews being persecuted, Jews disappearing through assimilation and intermarriage, Jews living in poverty. So I switched to the Nazi newspaper. Now what do I find? Jews own all the banks, Jews control the media, Jews are all rich and powerful, Jews rule the world. The news is so much better!”

Why did the Nazi chicken cross the road?
He was following orders.

What do you call a fat neo-nazi?
A wide supremacist.

What do you call a group of Nazi birds?
The Goose-Tapo.

Why did the letter C think letters A and B were racist?
Because they were Nazis.

A Soviet Spy has been captured in Nazi Germany and is being interrogated by an SS officer.
A Russian-speaking Ukrainian Kapo was brought in by the SS officer to be an interpreter.
The officer asks the spy, “Tell us what information you have stolen, who you deliver it to, and where you deliver it!”
The Kapo translates this message, and the Soviet Spy responds, “The Soviets are unbreakable. You can never make me talk!”
The Kapo tells the officer, “he refuses to talk”
The officer stands up, walks out, and comes back a few minutes later, holding a red hot railroad spike with tongs.
Frantically, the Soviet spy asks the Kapo what he is going to do with that. The Kapo asks the officer, who replies,
“Tell him I am going to take this railroad spike and shove it down his Urethra.”
The Kapo tells the Soviet spy “he is going to force that railroad spike down your urethra.” The spy responds,
The Kapo tells the German officer, “He says the Soviets do not fear anything, not even torture.”

Why don’t Nazis like strip clubs?
Because they don’t like Poles.

Recommended: Polish Jokes

Why are neo-Nazis the highest per-capita consumers of men’s sex toys?
Because they prefer their flesh light.

What is a Nazi’s favorite keyboard command?

How did the Nazis get their money?

Hitler invents a time machine.
It’s some time in the second world war and Hitler’s top scientists have built a time machine. Eager to use it, but fearing an accident, the fuhrer instead sends one of his henchmen forward to 1985, hoping to gain knowledge of the future to use against his enemies.
Much to Hitler’s chagrin, however, the henchman quickly returns to the present with only a Casio Keyboard in hand. Breathless with excitement, he declares “Mein Fuhrer! With this device, we shall wage sonic warfare on our enemies!”… He hits the demo button and the room is filled with sound.
“So… what do you think?” says the henchman.
Hitler, aghast at this otherworldly device says, “You must be mad Schultz! There’s no place in this world for a Nazi Synthesizer!”

What do GTA and Nazi Germany have in common?
You get chased if you have a star.

How do you sell Nazi propaganda?
Label it “easy bake oven.”

Why Do Nazis smell bad?
They didn’t know which showers to use.

A guy named Raymond wakes up one morning to find he has a massive pimple on his back.
As it continues to grow over the course of a week, he hears a faint voice in his head saying things like “Send blacks back to Africa! Gas the Jews! 14/88!”
So he goes to a doctor and tells him, “I’ve been hearing Nazi slogans in my head for the past week, I have no idea what’s going on, but I’m worried if I hear it for long enough it might turn me into one too!”
So the doctor checks him out and finds out that there was a miniature brain growing inside this giant pimple.
As the doctor is looking over the results with his assistant, he says, “Ah, I see the problem. It was due to Ray’s cyst thinking.”

Why was the Nazi bunker so dark?
They were too busy paying the gas bills.

What’s a nazi’s favorite puzzle game?

What is a nazi’s favorite car?
A Camaro SS.

Do you have a funny Nazi joke? Write down your own Nazi puns in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

5 thoughts on “70 Funny Nazi Jokes And Puns Beyond Meinkampfort Levels”

  1. Why are gardening nazis such poor runners?
    Because they have planter fascistitisre getting thoughts from this piece of writing as well as from our dialogue made at this time.


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