35 Funny Oscars Jokes from the 96th Academy Awards

Updated on:

Jessica Amlee

No Comments

The Oscars, Hollywood’s glitziest night, is like the Super Bowl for movie buffs, but instead of touchdowns, you’ve got tearful acceptance speeches and fashion statements. It’s the night when the stars compete not just for a shiny gold statue, but for the title of ‘Best Dressed’ or ‘Most Dramatic Entrance’. The Oscars are where dreams are made, hearts are broken, and sometimes, the wrong winner is announced (oops!). This glamorous event, full of pomp, circumstance, and a bit of awkward clapping, sets the stage perfectly for Oscars jokes.

Oscars jokes are like the mischievous cousin of the award show, poking fun at everything from the never-ending speeches to the sometimes baffling movie choices. They’re the kind of humor that makes you chuckle and think, “Too true!” These jokes take a light-hearted jab at the quirks of the ceremony: the teary-eyed speeches that seem to last longer than some movies, or how the host tries to keep a straight face while the teleprompter goes rogue. Oscars jokes aren’t just about poking fun; they’re a way to bond over the shared experience of watching this cinematic extravaganza. They add a sprinkle of comedy to the seriousness of award season, reminding us that while movies are art, watching their makers get awards can be a hilarious art form in itself.

Best Oscars Jokes

Did you know that the Oscars is a big f*cking lie all the way along?
The people they invite to their ceremonies are all paid actors.

2012 headlines: End white supremacy, we need more black faces at Hollywood awards.
2022 headlines: Black-on-black violence at Oscars caused by systemic racism.
2032 headlines: Only 17 shot dead at ‘mostly peaceful’ Oscars.

Chris Rock just declined the invite to host the 2023 Academy Awards.
That’s a real shame, last time he hosted it absolutely slapped.

Why did Leonardo DiCaprio laugh at the Oscar joke in 2016?
Because he finally got it.

Did you hear that the female directors are snubbed for the Oscars 2023?
Should never have arrested Harvey Weinstein.

Knock knock.
(Who’s there?)
Oscar who?
Oscar silly question, you already know who I am!

What happened when you tell Jennifer Lawrence a joke about how she won her Oscar?
She fell for it.

Why hasn’t Liam Neeson been nominated for another Oscar in the last 30 years?
All his roles have been Taken.

How did Cookie Monster decide who’d win the Oscars?
He went through all the nom-nom-nominations.

Yo mama so dramatic, she won an Oscar in her sleep.

Did you hear about the scarecrow who won an Oscar?
He was out standing in his field.

What do Moonlight and Moon Knight have in common?
The other Oscar isn’t real.

Why do they give out an award for Best Supporting Actor?
Because everyone needs a little help from their friends.

Did you know about this fact about the Oscars?
They are so long, they actually give out an award for Best Picture and then another for Best Nap.

Why are sports fans interested in the Oscars?
They’re placing bets on who’s going to trip on the stairs.

What is the difference between the Oscars and a family reunion?
The Oscars are like a family reunion, except it’s a family of celebrities who all hate each other.

How are the Oscars like a game of musical chairs?
They are the same except everyone during the Oscars is fighting for a seat in front of the camera.

Why did the actress bring her ladder to the Oscars?
She heard the competition was going to be stiff.

A mosquito was flying around an Oscars party.
First, it bothered Emma Watson, then it landed on Natalie Portman. It then flew over to pester Jessica Alba and finally Gal Gadot before security caught it.
During its interrogation, it confessed “I can’t help it. I’m a sucker for a pretty face.”

Did you hear about Will Smith who received Oscar for his role?
The Pursuit of Slappiness.

What did Chris Rock have on his face after the Oscars?
Fresh prints.

Did you hear about the Pokemon Trainer who got an Emmy, a Grammy, an Oscar, and a Tony?
Looks like EGOT ’em all.

How do you get to the Oscars?
With an osCAR.

Why did the actress bring her pet goat to the Oscars?
She heard they were giving out Best Picture.

Why did the actor bring a sandwich to the Oscars?
He heard they were handing out Best Supporting Roll.

What do the Oscars and the Grammys have in common?
Rock’s greatest hits.

If a cat won an Oscar, what would he get?
An A-cat-emy award.

After the iceberg collision, the captain of the Titanic gathers the crew and tells them, “I have bad news and good news.
The bad news is that our ship has begun to sink.
The good news is that we shall win eleven Academy Awards.”

Did you hear that spandex got nominated for an academy award?
It’s for best-supporting roles.

Why did the Oscar statue break up with his girlfriend?
Because she kept calling him “my little golden man”.

What’s a cannibalistic actor’s favorite meal?
An Oscar Nom.

Recommended: Cannibal Jokes

Why don’t p*rn movies win the Oscars?
Because the plots are full of holes.

Did you hear that the actresses at the Oscars had a wonderful night celebrating empowerment and female achievement by giving moving speeches and swilling champagne?
Apparently, it’s good for getting rid of the taste of salty producer cum.

Do you have funny Oscars jokes? Post your own Oscars puns in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

Leave a Comment