Funny Promise Day Jokes to Seal Your Love with Laughter

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Jessica Amlee

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In the lineup of Valentine’s Week, Promise Day shines uniquely on February 11th, serving as the humorous heart of romantic pledges. It’s when lovers worldwide make vows, from the earnest to the amusingly outlandish, like promising to share the last piece of pizza or to always laugh at each other’s clumsiest moments. This day isn’t just about making promises; it’s about sealing them with a laugh, turning every vow into a moment of joy and connection.

Promise Day Jokes then become the cherry on top, transforming the day into a laughter-filled celebration. These jests remind us that love can be light-hearted too, with promises like “I vow to always hog the blankets” or “I promise to laugh at your jokes, no matter how many times I’ve heard them.” It’s a day where love and laughter intertwine, proving that the best promises are those that bring smiles just as much as they forge bonds.

Best Promise Day Jokes

What is the similarity between Promise Day and New Year resolution?
Promises made on Promise Day and resolutions made on New Year’s never get fulfilled.

When it is PromiseDay and you ask him to promise you that he will never leave you,
And he says, “Haan Nisha I promise.” But your name is Garima.

On Promise Day, I promised my girlfriend I’d stop making bad jokes.
Promise broken in 3…2…1…

And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world.
And then he made it round and laughed and laughed and laughed.

On Promise Day.
Teacher: Tom, this is the last time I ask you why you didn’t do your homework.
Tom: Do you promise?

Why is a pawn’s promise always good?
Because he can’t go back.

It was Promise Day, a man promised his wife a flashy car and she was so excited.
You should have seen her face light up when she saw he’d strapped a strobe light to her Toyota.

What did the dentist who is working on a judge promise him?
“To take the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth.”

Why are ghosts terrible at making promises?
Because they always ghost you when it’s time to show up.

If you have promised your partner that you will love them 24/7.
July 24 is the date.

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This wife made her husband promise to stop making stupid jokes.
So he got a vasectomy.

What do you call a promise you can’t keep?
A campaign promise.

Why do weather forecasters always keep their promises?
Because they have a high pressure to perform.

On this Promise Day, let’s learn about the three things Christ promises he will never do: Won’t leave you broken-hearted (Psalm 147:3), won’t reject you (John 6:37), and won’t leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).
So in essence, Jesus is…never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.

Do all fairytales start with “once upon a time”?
No, some start with “If I’m elected, I promise…”

Why are bakers terrible at keeping secrets?
Because they always promise to keep it under wraps, but the truth always rises.

A mathematician comes home drunk at 3 am.
Wife: Hey, you promised to be in by 1145. What the hell happened?
Him: No, I told you I’ll be home by a quarter of twelve.

Why is the elevator mechanic so trusted?
Because when they make a promise, they always take things to the next level.

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The weatherman is the only guy who can promise you 8 inches,
And you’re happy to only get 3.

Why should you never trust a promise from a clock?
Because it always comes back around to face you.

A husband, looking to be helpful, asked his wife if there was anything he could do to help in the kitchen. She replied, “Yes, two things. Firstly, the dishes need washing.”
Eager to show his support, the husband rolled up his sleeves, filled the sink with water, and diligently washed every dish until it sparkled. He then promised her that he’d handle the dishwashing duties from now on. Next, he asked about the second problem.
The wife, trying to keep a straight face, said, “Secondly, we need some dishwasher soap actually to clean the dishes with.”

What promise did the man make to his new pair of underpants?
“I sh*t you not.”

Why are programmers bad at keeping promises?
Because they always say they’ll debug your problems, but you end up with more conditions.

What did the Rock Star llama promise his label?
“Alpaca concert hall!”

An old couple lived in the country for some time now. The wife was famous all over town for growing delicious strawberries.
On Promise Day, she made him promise that when she died, he would plant strawberries on her grave so that people could enjoy them when they visited. When she passed away, the husband fulfilled his promise. She’s dead and berried.

What is the definition of a fart?
A promise of sh*t to come later.

Why do photographers always fulfill their promises?
Because they know how to focus on what’s important.

A woman promises to teach her boyfriend what 69ing is on Promise Day.
He lies on the floor and she squats down over his face to assume the position and farts. Embarrassed she stands up and apologises. She squats down for another go but farts again, she gets up and apologizes again.
Before she can have a third go, her boyfriend gets up and goes to walk out saying, “Yeah this isn’t really for me, I’m not having 67 more of those in my face!”

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Why do mathematicians always keep their promises?
Because they know it’s important to stay within the parameters.

Why should you never trust a promise from a shoe salesman?
Because they tend to stretch the truth, and sometimes it just doesn’t fit.

What do you call it when you promise someone s*x later?

Why did the moron bring pita chips to a Boston hooker?
She promised him “hummus”.

Do you have a funny joke about Promise Day? Write down the puns in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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