60 Funny Skinny Jokes Lean Into Laughter

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Jessica Amlee


Navigating the world as a skinny person can be like playing a life-sized game of hide and seek, especially when you’re thin enough to turn sideways and vanish! It’s a unique experience where finding clothes that don’t hang off you like drapes is a daily challenge, and people constantly asking if you’re eating enough becomes your unofficial theme song. But fear not, fellow slender beings, because being skinny isn’t just about dodging those well-meaning but misguided ‘you should eat more’ comments. It’s about having a body that’s as easy to slip through crowds as a whisper through the wind. In fact, our superpower might just be the ability to disappear in a crowd… until someone mentions food, of course.

This is where Skinny Jokes come galloping in to save the day, much like a knight in shining, albeit slightly loose-fitting, armor. These jokes aren’t just a way to add a bit of extra meat to our bones; they’re a chance to laugh at the quirks and perks of being on the slender side of the spectrum. From jokes that poke fun at our ability to use a Cheerio as a hula hoop to those that celebrate our talent for avoiding getting stuck in tight spaces, Skinny Jokes are a testament to the lighter side of life. They remind us that while we may not be able to use our wrists as a watch model, we can definitely wrap ourselves in humor as comfortably as a loose-fitting t-shirt.

Best Skinny Jokes

What do you call skinny people who believe they are overweight?

Trans Fats.

What was the skinny scientist so excited about?

He just won the no-belly prize.

What’s a skeleton’s favorite snack?

None. It’s why he’s so skinny.

Why do fat people have skinny kids?

Because it’s a trait that doesn’t run in the family.

What did the TV detective say after a truck ran over Sarah Hyland?

Looks like somebody ordered a skinny flat white.

An old Italian man had 3 sons – 2 fat & 1 skinny.

Father: A-Mario! Why you-a so fat?

Mario: Oh but-a papa, I like-a the linguini!

Father: But-a Mario! You take-a too big-a bite.

Father: Luigi, why you-a so fat?

Luigi: Oh but-a papa, I like-a the rigatoni.

Father: Oh but Luigi, you take-a too big-a bite!

Father: Zucchini! How do you stay-a so skinny?

Zucchini: Oh but-a papa, I only eat da p#ssy.

Father: Da p#ssy, Zucchini? But dat-a taste like-a sh*t!

Zucchini: Oh but-a papa! You take-a too biiig-a bite!

What does a skinny pharmacist take?


What is the name for a skinny Pakistani cow?

A moo-slim.

Why did the husband say after grabbing his wife’s love handles while looking at all her skin?

“You are so skinny.”

What do you call real skinny manhood?

A girth defect.

Why are there so many skinny people in Japan?

The last time they had a fat man, they lost a city.

Why are plants so skinny?

They usually have a light lunch.

An obese man and a skinny man are taking a leak side by side.

Skinny man: Man, how long have you not seen your d#ck.

Obese man: It’s been a long time.

Skinny man: Why don’t you diet?

Fat man: Why? What color is it now?

Recommended: Fat People Jokes

What do you call a skinny tree?

The Real Slim Shady!

A lumber camp is looking for a lumberjack. The next day, a skinny person arrives at the camp with an axe. The head lumberjack looks at the little small guy and instructs him to go away.

“Give me a chance to show you what I’m capable of,” the skinny guy pleads.

“See that massive redwood over there?” asks the head lumberjack. “Cut it down with your axe.”

The man runs towards the tree, and in five minutes he’s at the lumberjack’s door.

“I cut the tree down,” the man says.

“Where did you learn to chop down trees like that?” asks the lumberjack, who can’t believe his eyes.

“In the Sahara Forest,” the small man adds.

“You are referring to the Sahara Desert,” says the lumberjack after interrupting him.

“Sure……!! That’s what they’re calling it these days!”

How did Christian get skinny for The Machinist?

He’s a methhead actor.

What makes a skinny prostitute different from a fake dollar bill?

One’s a phony buck.

Why are mathematics students so skinny?

Because they buy no meals.

What do you call an Asian electrician who is skinny?

Light Ning.

What is the difference between fat and skinny people?

Fat people are harder to kidnap but skinny people are worth less at the meat market.

What do you call a skinny person who speaks with a lisp?

Methed up.

What do you call a girl who is anorexic and has a yeast infection?

A quarter pounder with cheese.

What did the fat guy say to the skinny guy?

When I see you, I’d think a famine broke out!

What did the skinny guy say in response?

And when I see you, I’d think you’re the one responsible for that!

Yo mama so skinny, she does press-ups under the door.

Recommended: Yo Mama Jokes

A married couple was involved in a horrific accident in which the man’s face was horribly burned.

The doctor told the husband that because he was so skinny, they couldn’t graft any skin from his body.

So the wife proposed donating some of her own skin. However, the doctor decided that the only skin suitable for her would have to come from her buttocks.

The husband and wife agreed not to tell anyone where the skin came from, and they asked that the doctor keep their secret as well.

After all, this was a difficult situation. Everyone was taken aback by the man’s new appearance after the surgery. He looked better than he had in a long time! All of his friends and family raved about his youthful looks!

He was alone with his wife one day when he was moved with emotion at her sacrifice. “Dear, I just wanted to thank you for everything you did for me,” he remarked. “How can I ever repay you?”

“Honey,” she answered, “every time I watch your mother kiss you on the cheek, I receive all the appreciation I need.”

What is a skeleton’s favorite drink?

Skinny Latte.

Why did the guy want to be fat for just one day?

He was tired of being fat every day.

What do you call a skinny dinosaur?


How can you look skinny?

Hangout with fat people.

Why are sl*ts so skinny?

Well, one minute of kissing burns 26 calories.

Mother: Listen Jessica! Don’t forget, you are what you eat!

Jessica: Then I better hurry up. I need to eat a skinny person asap.

Why is it hard to date skinny girls?

You cannot decide whether to love them or feed them.

How do you draw a skinny couple holding hands?


Why do use skinny chics use internet slang like LMAO?

They don’t have an a** to laugh off.

What would you choose between eating tacos everyday or being skinny for life?

Would you choose hard or soft tacos?

A cheerleader bus crashed off a cliff. All twenty of them miraculously managed to hold onto the same branch protruding from the cliffside. There were nineteen stunning blondes and one stunning brunette. When the brunette noticed that the branch was beginning to break, she made a decision.

“Ladies, focus,” she added. “This branch, no matter how skinny we are, cannot support our entire weight. Because you’re all so lovely and wonderful, I’m going to let go in the hope that it’ll be enough to save your lives. Tell my family how much I appreciate them.”

The blondes were so impressed by her sacrifice that they applauded her.

You’re so skinny, you probably wipe your a** with floss.

You’re so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind. 

You’re so skinny that you use Chapstick as a deodorant.

You’re so skinny, your mom actually enjoyed your birth!

You’re so skinny, I have seen more meat on a chicken than you

You’re so skinny, you could be saved from drowning by being tossed a Cheerio.

You’re so skinny, I bet you can dodge raindrops

You’re so skinny, you use a band-aid as a maxi-pad.

You’re so skinny, when you wore yellow the other day, I thought you were a pencil!

A skinny little white Irishman enters an elevator, looks up, and notices a huge black man standing next to him. When the huge gentleman notices the tiny Irishman staring at him, he looks down and says, ‘7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20-inch p*nis, 3 pounds of testicles, Turner Brown, ‘ The small white Irishman passes out and collapses to the floor. The huge guy kneels down, shakes him, and pulls him. ‘What’s wrong with you?’ asks the huge guy. ‘What exactly did you say to me?’ replies the little boy, his voice weak.

‘I saw your eager face and figured I’d just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me,’ says the large dude. “I’m 7 feet tall, 350 pounds, have a 20-inch p*nis, three-pound testicles, Turner Brown.”

The little white Irishman says: ‘Turner Brown’?!…. Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, “Turn around!”

Why are orphans so skinny?

Because they never eat anything that is family size.

Recommended: Orphan Jokes

Did you know Napoleon was really skinny?

That is why they call him napoleon boney parts.

What happened when the owner added steroids to the aquarium for skinny goldfish?

Now things are Hunky Dory.

What did 0 say to the 10?

“Who’s the skinny one?”

What do you call a skinny feminist?


Why are bachelors skinny and married men fat?

Bachelors go to the fridge, look for something they like, and then go to bed. Married men go to bed, look around, and then go to the fridge.

Daughter: Mommy, what were you doing last night bouncing on daddy’s stomach?

Mother: I have to do it otherwise Daddy’s fat belly will increase. Bouncing keeps him skinny.

Daughter: That’s not going to happen.

Mother: And why is that?

Daughter: Because Erica the babysitter keeps blowing him up again and again.

What did the skinny farmer say to his wife?

I need to whey more.

What’s similar between a skinny guy and his mom?

His mom can take more vegetables than him.

Why is ok to make love during the period with skinny manhood?

I mean who doesn’t like spaghetti with red sauce.

What do you call a long, skinny d#ck?


A small, skinny man sits in a pub with a beer in front of him. A huge well-built man walks into the pub, taps him on the shoulder, and slurps the beer! The skinny man begins to cry. The big man scoffs, “Oh, baby, stop sobbing. That is only one beer…”

“OK, listen!” says the small man. My wife left me today, my bank account is empty, and my house is vacant! I was even sacked from my work. I didn’t want to live any longer, so I wanted to die. I sat down on the tracks but the train path had been altered! I tried to hang myself, but the rope snapped! I tried to shoot myself, but the pistol jammed! And now, with my last money, I’m buying a beer, pouring poison inside, and you’re drinking it!

I sometimes wonder about my ex-girlfriends who I haven’t seen in years.

Has she become all obese and bloated, or has she become disgustingly skinny, or has the body already been discovered.

What do you call someone who is fat but identifies oneself as skinny?


Did your find any jokes or puns funny? Tell us in the comments section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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