50 Funny Tall People Jokes That Are Heads Above the Rest

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Jessica Amlee

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Tall people often stand out in a crowd, quite literally. They are the ones who never need a ladder to reach the top shelf and can effortlessly spot their friends in a sea of heads at a concert. Living in a world that seems to be designed for those a few inches shorter, tall folks navigate a daily obstacle course of low doorways and cramped airplane seats. Their height, while a boon for changing light bulbs or playing basketball, also makes them the gentle giants in a world built on a smaller scale. It’s a life of ducking under doorframes and being asked, “How’s the weather up there?” These amusing quirks and gentle inconveniences are what fuel the world of Tall People Jokes.

Tall People Jokes are the light-hearted jabs at the lofty challenges faced by those of extended stature. They are a playful nod to the unique experiences that come with being head and shoulders above the rest. From jokes about being used as a human umbrella to quips on acting as the living GPS system in a crowd, these jests bring a smile to the ups and downs of being tall. They offer a humorous perspective on the everyday situations that tall people find themselves in, turning the trials of towering height into a source of shared laughter. So, while tall people might have to bend a bit to fit into the world, at least they can stand tall in the world of humor.

Best Tall People Jokes 

If short people have a longer life than tall people, what is great about being a tall person?
Taller people have a higher shelf life.

Why are black people so tall?
Because their knee grows.

What’s the best thing that happens when your girlfriend is 7 ft 4 in tall?
You love going up on her.

How tall is a spider?
Eight feet.

What can you say about a girl who only dated tall guys?
She had a foot fetish.

Why are the Dutch so tall?
So they can keep their heads above sea level.

Do you know why the Eiffel tower is so tall?
So you can see the white flag from Berlin.

Why do there seem to be so many tall men on online dating sites?
Because women keep them on their toes!

What do you call a really tall midwife?
A Doula Oblongata!

What do you call a tall Chinese guy?
Sum ting long.

When a tall man goes into a bar, a lady knows him as a professional rugby player. They start talking and finally return to his apartment.
They begin to kiss, and the man removes his shirt. He has the word Reebok tattooed on his arm. “What is that for?” the lady inquires. “Oh, I have this so that people can view my tattoo when I’m on TV, and Reebok will pay me.”
The man then removes his trousers, revealing a Nike tattoo on his leg. ‘What is that?’ the lady inquires once more. “I get paid when this tattoo is seen on TV, much like the Reebok tattoo.”
The man then removes his underwear, revealing an AIDS tattoo on his manhood.
“Don’t tell me you have AIDS!” cries the lady.
“No, no…!!!” says the man. Please relax…!!! In a minute, it will say ADIDAS.

Why were the tall guy and a short guy arguing?
They just couldn’t see eye to eye.

What did the short person say to the tall person?
I find your lack of height inTALLerable.

Recommended: Short People Jokes

What happens every time a tall person bumps their head?
Somewhere a short person is smiling.

Why are short people better than tall people?
They are more down-to-earth.

I asked a tall guy, “How’s the weather up there?”
He spat on me and told me it’s raining!

Why are tall people always so well rested?
They’re usually longer in bed.

What do you call a tall buffalo?

What is the problem with tall guys?
Just feel like they’re always looking down on me.

Why is milk taller than you?
Because it’s always pasteurize.

Two friends saw an extremely tall guy at the airport.
Friend: Wow, it must be really difficult for him to fly.
Another friend: You’d think it’d be easier, he has longer arms.

Who is taller, Mr. Bigger or his son?
His son is a little bigger.

What is the height of stupidity?
How tall are you?

What do you call a cow with long legs?
High steaks.

Why can’t you remember tall jokes?
Guess, you need to get your head out of the clouds.

Why do people become more and more horrible as they grow taller?
Because they gruesome.

Why will the tallest man in the world be depressed?
He has no one to look up to.

Yo mama so tall she fell off a rock and hit the moon.

Recommended: Yo Mama Jokes

Yo mama so tall she can taste the rainbow.

Yo mama so tall she had to buy a car with a sun roof.

You are so tall that when you go to get your haircut, the hairdresser needs to pack oxygen.

Why are SpaceX’s rockets so tall?
Because they’re ELONgated!

What is the tallest building in the world?
The library, it’s got the most stories.

Have you heard of a place where all the tall people gather to drink?
It’s called Tallinn.

Why didn’t the tall guy get into the graveyard?
He wasn’t under six feet.

How do you make a tall person look more awkward?
You can’t.

What do you tell a tall guy at the Airport?
To duck when a plane goes above his head!

How did one become so tall?
Eat giraffe seeds when you are a kid.

How do you make a tall person angry?
Pick them up in a small car.

What’s a fact about tall people?
They are the selfie stick of every group.

Why it doesn’t matter if you are tall or short, fat or thin, black or white?
Because at the end of the day it will be night time.

Recommended: Skinny Jokes

Why is a tall member of the family useful?
It is where the family will meet if someone gets lost in a crowd.

What is a tall person’s biggest fear?
The ceiling fans!

What did the doctor have to say about the tall man who was rushing to see him?
“I just wish he was a little patient.”

Why can you never trust tall people?
They always think they’re above everyone else.

Why shouldn’t you go into a brighter room when your students are too tall?
Your pupils will get smaller.

What do tall people and rock/metal music fans have in common?
They both head bang a lot.

What are the similarities between a tall wizard and a tall elf?
They were both in need of a short hobbit to rescue their buttocks.

Why aren’t tall women’s toenails painted?
Because they’re too far away.

What do you term someone who is tall and attractive?
An evolutionary miracle.

Why is being short beneficial?
If the sky falls in, tall people will be killed first.

Which sport is the most popular among tall women?
Wrestling each other over men who are taller than them.

How is a tall person different from a broom?
A broom is useful.

Short people have long been the focus of jokes due to their height, but let’s face it, the tall life isn’t always rosy. We hope you like the above tall people jokes. If you have better puns then post them in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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