90 Funny Short People Jokes For Little Laughs

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Jessica Amlee

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Short people often find themselves the butt of jokes, not because of any lack of character, but simply due to their pint-sized stature. It’s a quirky world where the top shelves in a supermarket are akin to Mount Everest and every group photo is a game of ‘find the shortest’. Their lives are filled with tailor-made solutions, like the ever-essential footstool or the much-needed front-row seats at concerts. It’s a unique perspective, literally and figuratively, offering a compact and efficient way of navigating the world. Their height, or the lack thereof, becomes a source of endless amusement and, yes, a wellspring for Short People Jokes.

Diving into the world of Short People Jokes, it’s like stepping into a comedy show where height is the main act. These jokes, often light-hearted and playful, highlight the amusing situations short people find themselves in. From being perpetually seen as ‘adorable’ regardless of age to mastering the art of jumping for the unreachable, their everyday experiences turn into comedic gold. It’s a humorous take on the smaller aspects of life, where the punchline is not just about the height but the witty resilience in embracing it. Remember, in the land of Short People Jokes, laughter is always looking up!

Best Short People Jokes

Let’s head onto some of the most hilarious jokes.

Short Person Jokes

What do you call a school for short people?
It’s called little things count.

When a short person waves at you, what do you call it?
A microwave.

When two short people do 69, what do you call it?

What future does a short guy have who cooks good food?
As a short-order cook.

Do short people listen to songs?
Just A Lil Bit.

What is the name for a short Mexican?
A paragraph, because he’s not a full essay yet.

Why do skeletons like to make love to short girls before they eat?
They like to bone a petite.

Why do Short people like drugs?
Because they get them high.

Why you shouldn’t make fun of short people?
You are above that.

How come an elf can’t lend you money?
Because they’re always a little short.

What do you call a short man sharing his sexuality?
Coming out of the cupboard.

Recommended: Gay Jokes

After another failed date of a short and ugly man, he banged the table he was seated at in rage. “I can’t live like this any longer!” he yelled. “Life is unfair to individuals like me!”
The waitress noticed his rage and came over. “Don’t give up hope, sir. There is a group of people that are physically smaller than usual and are strongly judged depending on their appearance. However, they manage to survive.”
The man was ecstatic. “Please tell me who they are so that I can meet and learn from them!”
In reply, the waitress gave a saddened smile.

What should you gotta hand it to short people?
Because they can’t reach.

What do you name a gathering of short Irishmen suffering from leprosy?

What do women call short men if men call them “petite”?

Why aren’t short people allowed to be mentors?
Because you can’t look up to them.

What do say when someone fights with a short man?
They are punching down!

Why do short alcoholics hate being short?
They can’t taste top-shelf liquor.

What do you call a short Scottish stripper?
Can’t tell but they sound a little off-kilter.

What do you call a short black person?
By their name, you racist!

What do you call a short manager?
A real micromanager.

What do you call making love to a french girl who is short?
Bone a petite!

Two Eskimos, one large and one short, approach the convent door. “Go ahead, knock on the door, knock on the door,” the big one nudges the shorter one.
The door is answered by Mother Superior. “Go ahead, ask her the question, ask her the question,” the big Eskimo nudges the little one again.
“May we speak with the dwarf nun that lives here, please?” the little Eskimo asks timidly.
“There are no dwarf nuns living here,” the Mother Superior responds.
“Go ahead, ask her the second question, ask her the other question,” the larger Eskimo says as he nudges the tiny one again.
“Well, are there any midget nuns in Alaska?” the small Eskimo inquires, his voice quivering.
“I know most of the sisters in Alaska, and I don’t believe so,” Mother Superior says hesitantly.
With this, the large Eskimo collapses and rolls to the ground, clutching his stomach and laughing uncontrollably. “See, I told you you screwed a penguin!” he exclaims to the short Eskimo.

What could be better than a tall woman around you with her legs?
A short woman trying like hell.

What do you call a short mother?
A minimum.

Did you hear about the short guy who got pick-pocketed?
How could anyone stoop so low?

What did the tall girl have to say to the short man?
“Can you go up on me?”

Recommended: Tall People Jokes

A restaurant posted a notice: Sorry, we are closed due to short staff.
Customer: Then why don’t you hire taller staff?

What’s the best way to kill small people?
With a minigun.

What’s so special about short people with umbrellas?
They always catch your eye.

What did the short person experience from a tall person?

Why was the short prisoner thrown into the sea?
He was a little condescending.

What do you call someone who is short in Poland?
A Tadpole.

Why should you be friends with short people?
Short people live over 50 years, making them one of the longest-living pets available.

How do folks who are short, cut their pizza?
With Little Caesar’s.

What do you call a short comedian?
A little funny.

What is a short man’s biggest trouble?
Putting food on the table.

What kind of biscuit does a short person prefer?

Why was the short man arrested?
Small arms offences.

Yo mama so short, she has to pay rent while living in Barbie’s dream house.

Recommended: Yo Mama So Short Jokes

Yo mama so short, she can backflip under the bed.

Why did the short chef quit his job at the casino?
The steaks were too high.

Why do dwarves have trouble getting alcohol?
Because they’re miners.

What do you call a group of short people partying together?
A little get-together.

Why was Leprechaun nervous?
He was shortlisted for the upcoming elections.

What were the results of a survey done on short people?
6 out of 7 are unhappy.

When is it acceptable to beat a short man?
When he’s standing next to your girlfriend and tells her that her hair smells nice.

What’s the difference between short people, dwarfs and midgets?
Very little.

Why can’t short people get good jobs?
They can’t reach an agreement.

Why can’t short people find love?
They only engage in small chats.

Why will short people date anyone?
They have really low standards.

What do you call short people with Down Syndrome?
You call him a little slow.

What do you call a short guy from China?
Half Ling.

Recommended: Skinny Jokes

Why are Dutch people so tall?
Shorter ones drowned in floods.

Why was the king only a foot tall?
Because he was a ruler.

A man runs into a bar and shouts, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?!”
The bartender says, “Depends. Less than 3 feet.”
The man cries out, “Oh my God! I just drove over a nun!”

What do girls call guys who are less than 6 feet tall?

How tall is the world’s smallest grandmother?
One Nanameter.

Why was a four-foot-tall man was fired from his job?
For microaggressions.

Midget Jokes

Two midgets enter a midget pub.
“Is this joke going to be any good?” says the first midget once they sit down.
“No, but that’s okay, the bar is pretty low,” says the second midget.

Why is it that everyone adores a midget?
They never look down on anyone.

Why do you call a midget wearing a T-Shirt that says “I hate black people”?
A little racist.

When the pimp didn’t make enough money, what did he say to the midget prostitute?
Don’t sell yourself short.

Why are midgets always angry?
They are short-tempered.

What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large.

What do you call a short person who summersaults out of a circus cannon?
A midget spinner.

What did the doctor say to the midget waiting in his clinic?
You’re just going to have to be a little patient.

Why was the midget banned from the nudist colony?
He kept getting in everyone’s hair.

A man sees a midget carrying a television on the street, so he goes ahead and offers help.
Man: Hey do you need any help with the TV?
Midget: STFU! This is an iPad.

How do you describe your relationship with a midget girlfriend?
Nuts over her.

What is the term for a midget having an org*sm?
A shortcoming.

How was the midget wedding?
Fast due to the short reception.

In Thailand, what do they call a midget?

Dave was on the bus when a midget boarded and sat beside him.
After a few stops, the driver slams on the brakes, causing the midget to slide off the seat, so Dave grabs his arm and repositions him.
The same thing happens at the next stop, so he grabs the dwarf by the arm and sits him down.
By the fifth stop, the same thing has happened, and Dave is annoyed, so he grabs him and says, “Hold on tight, you stupid midget or you’re going to keep sliding off the seat.”
“My stop was 5 stops ago, I’ve been trying to get off the bus you sunabitch,” the midget replies, turning around.

What should the name of a midget Metallica cover band be?

What do you call a gay midget who has erectile dysfunction?
A low-hanging fruit.

Sophia matched with a midget on Tinder.
Midget: Hey! What’s up?
Sophia: Well technically everything is, from your perspective!

What causes midgets to have bad breath?
Because their bum is closer to their mouths.

What do you call a midget who is playing the drums in the subway?
A metro-gnome.

Recommended: Midget Jokes

Dwarf Jokes

Heigh ho, heigh ho, it’s off to laughter we go! Get ready to laugh with these hilarious jokes on dwarf!

What does a dwarf cow give us?
Condensed milk.

Why should you avoid making height-related jokes around a dwarf?
It’ll just go over their head.

What is a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs called?
A small arms dealer.

What do you call a chubby dwarf?
Low fat.

Recommended: Fat Jokes

A dwarf with a speech impediment goes into a stud farm.
“I’d like to buy a horth,” he says to the owner of the farm.
“What sort of horse?” said the owner.
“A female horth,” the dwarf replies. So the owner shows him a mare.
“Nithe horth,” says the dwarf, “Can I thee her eyeth?” So the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horse’s eyes.
“Nithe eyeth,” says the dwarf, “Can I thee her teeth?” Again the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horses teeth.
“Nithe teeth… can I see her eerth?” the dwarf says. The owner is getting fed up but again picks up the dwarf to show him the horses ears.
“Nithe eerth,” He says, “Now… can I see her twot?”
The owner, not sure if he heard correctly, replies, “Her what?”
“Twot, can I see her twot,” the dwarf says. The owner losing his patience picks the dwarf up by the scruff of his neck and shoves his head deep inside the horse’s v*gina. He holds him there for a couple of seconds before pulling him out and putting him down.
The dwarf shakes his head and says, “Perhaps I should weefwaze that. Can I see her wun awound?”

Why do dwarfs chuckle when running?
Because the grass tickles their balls.

Why are dwarfs so brilliant at math?
Because it’s the little things that count.

What does an academic dwarf call his axes?
x and y.

The bartender tells the dwarf that he’s got a special for him today. The bartender offers him free drinks for the day if he could make the bartender’s horse laugh and cry.
The dwarf considers it for a moment and decides he’d like to give it a shot, so the bartender brings him out back. “Give me two minutes alone with him,” says the dwarf.
Two minutes later, the horse and the dwarf emerge from the stall, the horse giggling madly. “That’s impressive, but you still have to make him cry,” adds the bartender. “I’ll need two more minutes alone,” says the dwarf.
Two minutes later, they emerge, and the horse is sobbing. The bartender exclaims, “Wow, I’m impressed. You get the drinks, but I have to ask you how you did it?”
The dwarf claims it was simple. First, he went in there and told him that he had a bigger dick than him. The horse burst out laughing. Then the dwarf demonstrated to the horse that he truly does.

What do you call a dwarf with magic?
A midgetcian!

What do you call a tattoo artist who is a dwarf?
An Inkling.

What do you call a pigeon who is a dwarf?
A smidgen.

Did your find any joke about short people funny? Also, you can share your own puns with us. Do let us know in the comments section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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