60 Funny Uranus Jokes for Observant Asstronomers

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Jessica Amlee

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Uranus, the seventh planet from the sun, has been the butt of jokes ever since William Herschel spotted it through his telescope in 1781. This celestial giant is enveloped in a thick blanket of gas, swirling with clouds and encircled by a troupe of moons and faint rings. But let’s face it, the real fascination with Uranus goes beyond its chilly blue hue or its peculiar side-rolling rotation. It’s the name that has elementary school students snickering and adults chuckling with an eyebrow raised. In the universe of planetary exploration, Uranus provides comic relief, offering a name that doubles as a punchline and inviting all sorts of wordplay that orbits the edges of good taste.

Uranus jokes are a unique genre of humor that takes this cosmic coincidence and launches it into a galaxy of giggles. They thrive on the planet’s unfortunately funny name, turning astronomy lessons into impromptu comedy sessions. These quips are often pun-laden, teetering on the edge of innuendo, and playing with the dual meaning in a way that can make even the most stoic space enthusiast crack a smile. The allure of Uranus jokes lies in their universal appeal; they connect the highbrow world of science with the timeless tradition of cheeky wordplay, proving that even in the vast, serious expanse of space, there’s plenty of room for a little lighthearted fun.

Best Uranus Jokes

What would be the first thing communists do if they ruled the solar system?
Rename Uranus to Ouranus.

If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, where are all the other genders from?
They were pulled out Uranus.

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Uranus who?
My anus doesn’t have a last name, does yours?

Why are Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk and Richard Branson so excited for space?
They’ve f*cked almost everyone on our planet and want one last shot at Uranus.

One friend was trying to tell another that Uranus is pronounced ‘Your An*s.’
The guy scoffed at him and said, “M’ars.”

Did you know that scientists have named the core of Uranus?
It’s called urectum.

Recommended: Funny An*s Puns

What’s the difference between NASA and the NSA?
One seeks to probe Uranus and the other seeks to probe your an*s.

Why do people always say, “I love you to the moon and back”?
That’s not really that far. The moon is only 238,900 miles away. Uranus, on the other hand, is 1.7 billion miles away.

If a man is willing to give you the Moon and the Stars, then what’s your responsibility?
You should be willing to sacrifice Uranus.

Did you hear about NASA’s decision to launch Uranus into a black hole?
Don’t think it’s a good idea to be rubbing Uranus and Heranus together.

Why did SpaceX go to Mars?
Because SpaceY already went to Uranus.

During a routine medical check-up, Ted asked the Doctor, “Do you think I’ll live a long and healthy life then?”
The doctor replied, “I doubt it somehow. Mercury is in Uranus right now.”
Ted said, “I don’t go in for any of that astrology nonsense.”
The doctor replied, “Neither do I. My thermometer just broke.”

How is Toilet paper similar to Starship Enterprise?
It circles Uranus looking for Klingons.

Recommended: Toilet Paper Jokes

If you shrunk the solar system down so that the sun was at the top of your head and the orbit of Pluto was at your feet,
Uranus would be right about where you’d expect it to be.

What did the planet Jupiter say to Neptune?
“I can see Uranus from here.”

What do a playboy and NASA have in common?
They both want to colonize Uranus.

What did one gay astronaut say to the other gay astronaut?
“Hmmm… Uranus or mine?”

Why do some wish their name was Voyager 2?
So they could have the first encounter with Uranus.

Did you hear about the doctor who informed his patient that they’ve found life on other planets?
He says there are worms living in Uranus.

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
(Pluto who?)
Pluto be all up in Uranus, that’s who!

Why did the pervert take a telescope into the bathroom?
Because he wanted to see Uranus.

Did you know that Uranus can fit 63 Earths?
Relax and we could probably squeeze in 64.

Why didn’t they let the sex molester become an Astronaut?
They didn’t want him getting near Uranus.

Boyfriend asked his girlfriend how many planets are in our solar system.
The girlfriend said, “Eight.”
The boyfriend replied, “Nope, only 7, after I destroy Uranus tonight.”

Recommended: Dirty Jokes

What is a Flat Earther pickup line?
The Earth may be flat but Uranus is round.

What do the Vatican and Area 51 have in common?
They are both probing Uranus.

Where’s the best place to hide drugs in space?

Why did the astronomer put his dick in the telescope?
To line it up with Uranus.

A conversation between grade 3 kids.
First kid: Your face is kinda similar to a planet…
Second kid: Oh yeah. Which one?
First kid: Uranus.

What’s the difference between being a prostitute or an Astrologer?
If you are a prostitute only a portion of your clients is interested in the position of Uranus.

Why should you hate people who make Uranus jokes?
They are heinous.

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
(Uranus who?)
Uranus is a gas giant.

What do you call someone who flies a spaceship to Uranus?
An asstronaut.

Why is it so important that we keep Earth clean?
Because it’s not Uranus.

What do a proctologist and an astronomer have in common?
When they look at Uranus, it is always on its side.

Recommended: Colonoscopy Jokes

How do you know if you’ve been visited by aliens from Uranus?
Crap circles.

What does space smell like?

Did you hear that the scientific community has finally agreed to rename the planet Uranus?
They are re-naming it to Urmama.

What has gas, liquid, and solids on it at the same time?

Uranus, Earth, and Pluto decide to throw a party.
Earth: so how are we going to do this?
Pluto: Don’t ask me. I don’t know how to Plan-et.

What is the difference between Uranus and Earth?
Uranus has one a**hole, Earth has many.

How do you know that Saturn and Neptune are the butt cheeks of the solar system?
Uranus is between them.

Why is Neptune made up of gas?
Because it is next to Uranus.

Did you know that Uranus is the coldest place in the solar system?
So it’s safe to say the sun doesn’t shine there.

Why is Uranus classified as a planet?
After all, it is a Black Hole

Recommended: A** Jokes

Why was Uranus always mad?
Because it was the butt of everyone’s jokes

How do you pick a motivated astronaut dog?
It‘s the one that’s always sniffing Uranus.

Why was there only ever one mission to Uranus?
Because it was full of sh*t!

How long does it take a satellite to reach Uranus?
Bend over and I’ll show you.

What’s worse than a satellite around Saturn?
A probe in Uranus.

What’s worse than lobsters on Mars?
Crabs on Uranus.

Why don’t we inhabit Uranus?
That place is a Gas Hole.

Which is a planet and a black hole at the same time?

Why was Mars afraid of Jupiter?
Because Jupiter Saturn Uranus.

When can you see Uranus?
Only on a “full-moon.”

Recommended: Alien Jokes

What’s the farthest planet humans can see with their Naked eye?

Why should you never let an astronaut get in bed with you?
Because they want to explore Uranus.

What are Uranus’ moons?

How do you invade Uranus?

Did you hear they’ve modified the Mars rover for a trip to Uranus?
Now it’s called Bicuriosity.

Recommended: Fart Jokes

What do you call Uranus when it’s no longer in space?

Have a dirtier joke on Uranus? Post your funny puns in the comment section below.

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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