Curry is not just a dish; it’s an emotion, a culinary hug in a bowl. Originating from the Indian subcontinent, curry has weaved its magic globally, becoming a beloved staple in homes and restaurants worldwide. Characterized by its intricate blend of spices and herbs, it offers a riot of flavours that dance on the palate, often evoking joy, nostalgia, and occasionally, the urgent need for a glass of water when one underestimates the spice!
Now, onto the zestier side of things – curry jokes! With such a worldwide presence, it’s only natural that curries become the spice of comedic realms too. From jests about its fiery reputation to playful jabs at its after-effects, or even how a curry can be the litmus test for any relationship (“If they can’t handle the spice, can they handle life?”). Much like the dish itself, curry jokes are a blend of warmth, depth, and a kick of surprise. So, next time you’re digging into your favourite bowl, remember, that a side of humour makes everything taste better!
Best Curry Jokes
Is it acceptable to dip bread into a curry?
Asking for my naan.
How much cash can you make robbing an Indian restaurant?
As much as you can curry.
Why don’t you eat Indian food in Germany?
Cause they make curry wurst.
Yo mama so stupid, she cooks Indian curry with Old Spice.
A red curry and a green curry had a fight.
There was no winner…it was a Thai.
What’s the name of the best Indian restaurant in Kansas?
Curry On Wayward Son.
Curry this cake to the table so we can start the party.
Did you hear about the Indian chef who really wanted to tell all about what makes Indian Curry taste so great?
But he had to sign a Naan disclosure agreement.
What do you call someone who delivers Indian food?
Tim Rice and Tim Curry are going to open an Indian restaurant together.
They plan to call it ‘Tim’s’.
Queen Elizabeth had been on the Throne for 70 years.
That’s one hell of a dodgy curry.
A man obsessed with curries visits a new restaurant.
He speaks to the manager and requests the hottest curry on the menu, for he is experienced with curries and demands quality. The manager informs him of a new dish he’s prepared called ‘The Jurrasic Park’. The man, intrigued, presses the manager further. “Why is it called The Jurassic Park”?
The manager smiles and says, “Because when you’re finished you’ll have a Megasorearse!”
Have you ever tried Wookie curry?
The flavour is alright but the meat is a bit chewy.
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Why did the Chicken Tikka Masala cross the road?
Because it was in a curry.
Ever had curried pelican for lunch?
It’s not bad, but the bill was enormous.
What’s a Klingon’s favourite curry sauce?
Why did the old man leave an extra tip at the Indian restaurant?
He was sheikhing to curry flavour.
One of the British national daily newspapers was asking readers: “What it means to be British?”
Some of the emails were hilarious but this one from a Swiss was a winner. “Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, sitting on Swedish furniture, and watching American shows on a Japanese TV. He buys a holiday home in Spain, Skis in France, fancies Swedish birds, and has a Romanian au-pair.
And the most British thing of all? Suspicious of anything Foreign.
What’s a bodybuilder’s favorite Thai food?
Don’t you wish the name of a business would describe what it sells?
Curry’s doesn’t sell curries, Domino doesn’t sell dominoes, and the Virgin Megastore, what a disappointment.
Why is there no more curry in Afghanistan?
Because there’s a thali ban.
Why did the Indian restaurant in Dallas have al fresco seating?
Because Texas is an open curry state.
What if you bribe someone with curry?
Then you’re using curry flavour to curry favour.
What do you call an old curry?
An antikka masala.
A man walks into a library and orders an incredibly hot curry.
“This is a library,” says the librarian
“Oh, sorry,” replies the man
“I’d like to order an incredibly hot curry please,” he whispers.
Did you hear about the Indian chef who fell down the stairs?
He was curryed away to the hospital.
What do you call a Vietnamese-themed restaurant that only serves Indian food in Chinese take-out containers?
Did you hear about the two drug users who injected curry powder thinking it was heroin?
One got a dodgy Tikka and the others in a Korma.
What do passionate Indian chefs and functional programmers have in common when they are exhausted?
They curry on.
Why would Indians make great basketball coaches?
They invented Curry.
A hen and her chick are having a talk.
“Why do humans have names, but us chickens don’t? All we have is chicken or hen,” asks the chick. “Well, humans may have names when they are ALIVE, but when they are dead, they are only called ghosts,” says the hen, “but, we have lots of names when we are dead. Such as chicken curry, fried chicken, roast chicken….”
What’s Ferris Bueller’s favourite curry?
What side dish does George Michael ask for with his curry?
Well guess it would be rice.
Where does Vin go after eating a really hot curry?
What do you call a person who is willing but hasn’t yet tried Indian food?
Did you hear about the chicken that sniffed too much curry powder?
He got so ill he fell into a korma!
A married man farts all the time and in one of his particularly explosive bouts of wind, his long suffering wife says the following. “One day you’ll fart so hard you’ll fart your guts right out!!”
With that, he just pays his wife’s words with no heed and goes about his business.
A few days later, after the previous night having far too many beers and a super hot curry with his friends, he puts his keys in the door and comes in after work. His wife is in the kitchen preparing dinner, tonight it’s chicken.
He hangs up his coat and farts super loud and stinky… his wife is hating him just about as much as you can expect after 20 years!
BUT…His wife says nothing… he then declares “I’m going upstairs for a shower”. So, when she knows he’s in the shower, she stealthily creeps upstairs and puts the chicken giblets into the back of his trousers that he has folded on the chair in the bedroom.
She creeps back downstairs and waits…
About 10 minutes later she hears a loud shriek!!! She shouts upstairs, “What’s wrong??!!”, after a minute of silence, he shouts “Nothing dear”…
About 5 minutes later, he comes down, looking as pale as a sheet, with beads of sweat on his forehead.
He says, “You were right you know, I actually farted my guts RIGHT out!! But with a bit of effort, some vaseline, and a shoe horn I got the bastards back in again!!”
What’s the fastest curry?
What do you call vanilla ice eating a curry?
Spice spice baby.
A vegetarian lady looked at Little Johnny’s mutton curry and said, “You know, a sheep died so you could have that.”
He looked at her salad and responded, “Maybe she died because you keep eating all her food!”
Did you hear about the guys who snorted curry powder instead of cocaine?
One of them now has a dodgy tikka and the other is in a korma.
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What do you call an Indian in a fast car??
Curry in a hurry!
On a BA flight from Delhi to London, the pilot comes over the public address system, and tells passengers at what altitude they will be flying, the expected arrival time, a bit about the weather, and advises them to relax and have a good flight.
Then, forgetting to turn off the microphone, the pilot says to his co-pilot, “I’m glad we’re out of that shit hole. Had a dodgy curry last night and it went through me like a f*cking Porsche. As soon as we get back, I’m gonna have a proper good shit! Then I’m gonna give that new blonde air hostess with the big t*ts, the biggest portion of helmet she’s ever seen!’ All the passengers hear it. The air hostess immediately begins to run towards the cockpit to tell the pilot of his blunder, when a little old lady trips her up and says, “Hey! ’No need to rush, he’s gonna have a big shit first!”
What do you eat at a formal event in Thailand?
Black thai curry.
Did you hear about the kids crying whose father had put ginger in the curry?
They loved that cat.
What is the favourite food of the cannibal who only ate scientists?
Why is Vegetarian curry a lot like lesbian sex?
Same amount of heat, none of the meat.
A queer goes to see his doctor.
He feels really sick, so the doctor takes a blood sample.
A few days later the doctor gives him the bad news.
“I’m sorry to say that you have AIDS”
“Oh my god, is there any treatment?”
“This is what you do. Drink 6 pints of Guinness, then have a big spicy meal at Taco Bell. Then drink a pint of castor oil, and finish it off with a hot vindaloo curry”.
“And will that cure my AIDS?”.
“No, but it will teach you what your asshole is for!”
How can you tell India Indians from Native American Indians?
One smells like curry, the other smells like extinction.
Why are uncles like curries?
Bad ones hurt your a**hole.
Did you hear about the guy who tried to schmooze the Raj?
He was trying to curry favour. The Raj humoured him, just to spice things up.
Telling your date that she reminds you of your ex is a bit like farting after a curry.
It’s risky and is probably not best done during a bl*wjob.
What do you call an Indian in a wheelchair?
What do you name a curry while making love to a potato
Do you have a funny curry joke? Write down your own Indian curry puns in the comment section below!