50 Funny 69 Jokes For the Internet’s Coolest Number

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Jessica Amlee

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When two partners position their bodies to perform oral sex on each other at the same time in a fashion that resembles the number 69, this is referred to as 69. It’s usually known as “the sex number” on the internet. People frequently make fun of it by replying “nice” to posts that contain the number 69, regardless of the context.

We have aggregated the funniest 69 jokes on the Internet that will tickle your bone.

Best 69 Jokes

Why do some prefer 68 instead of 69?
It’s when she goes down on you and you owe her 1.

What’s so great about 70?
It’s similar to 69 but you give her one.

What’s the difference between 69 and 6.9?
6.9 is a good thing ruined by period.

Why do girls prefer 77 instead of 69?
It’s similar to 69 but you get “8” more!

A Chinese couple has a restaurant.
After a long day of work, they go to bed, the husband says to his wife: do we want to do a 69?
And the wife says, “What? Shrimp sauteed rice at this hour?”

Recommended: 69 Memes

What is the square root of 69?
Ate something.

What makes 69 different from driving in fog?
You can’t see the asshole in front of you when driving in fog.

What do snakes call it when they do 69?

Jerry remembered he had a dentist appointment with his partner after an excitingly steamy 69.
He was terrified that the dentist might detect Pu**y on his breath! As a result, he washed his teeth multiple times. He gargled one and a half liters of Listerine and flossed his teeth. He sucked on two strong mints on his way to the dentist. The dentist told him to take a seat when his turn came up. Jerry opened his mouth wide, feeling confident and calm. “Man did you have a 69 before you came here,” asked the dentist. Jerry said, “Does my breath smell like pu**y?”
The dentist replied, “No but your forehead smells like shit.”

Why will be position 69 called 96?
It is due to inflation, that the cost of eating out increased.

What’s 72?
69 with three people watching.

What was Hitler’s favorite sex position?
Sixty nein.

Recommended: Inflation Jokes

Why is 69 scared of 70?
Because they once had a fight and 71.

What does 69 plus 69 equal?
Dinner for 4.

What is the speed limit of sex?
68 because at 69 you eat it.

Why is 68 the top speed of a girl?
Because at 69 she blows a rod.

Why did 71 become 69?
Because two got eaten.

How do you respond when someone asks if you want to 69?
“I’m down if you’re down.”

What is the difference between 69 and 96?
69 is girlfriend 96 is married.

What’s 69 divided by 2?

Want to do a 34 and a half?
It’s like a 69 but you do all the work.

Some time ago, a young Chinese couple married. “Okay, dear husband, my mother suggested that I should please you tonight,” the bride replies quietly on her wedding night. “Please tell me what you want.”
“To be honest…I would like…69,” the groom admits nervously after a little minute of thought.
And the bride says, “You want Beef with Broccoli?”

What do Asians call 69?
two can chew.

How does 69 differ from a family reunion?
During 69, you only see 1 asshole!

What do you call having a 69 with a short girl?
10,077,696 . . . . 6⁹= 10,077,696

Recommended: Short People Jokes

What do you call it when two short people do 69?

What do you call a triangle with angles of 42.0°, 69°, and 69°?
A Nice-osceles triangle.

What comes after 69?

I saw two druggies having a ’69’ earlier in the park.
He was on crack, she was on blow.

What is 69 if one person is on wheelchair?
Then it’s a 59.

In math class, the teacher asked me what comes after 69.
Apparently, “I do.” is not the correct answer.

Grandchild: Grandma have you done 69 before? *grin*
Grandma: No honey, I did only 53, we live in a small community.

Why isn’t 96 as popular as 69?
Because it comes after 69!

Why can’t Miss Piggy count to 70?
Because when she gets to 69 she gets a frog in her throat.

John and Natalie decide to give a 69 a shot.
Natalie says she’ll show John because he’s never done it before.
She urges him to lie down and squats over him. She farts as she lowers herself down. She apologises and tries again only to fart again.
John leaps to his feet and storms out, muttering, “I’ll be fooked if I’m hanging around for 67 more of ’em!”

What do the mafia and 69 have in common?
A slip of the tongue and you’re in for some shit.

We call it 69 when a man and a woman have oral love making at the same time. What do we call it when two males are in a similar position?

Recommended: Missionary Position Jokes

What do you call skunks doing 69?
Odor eaters.

What do you call an ice cream shop with 69 flavors?
Nice cream shop.

Why can’t prostitutes count to 70?
Because their mouth’s full after 69.

What is the highest form of trust?
Two cannibals doing a sixty nine.

What’s the difference between 420 and 69?

Do you know why 69 is so hot?

I took my blood pressure today, it was 420/69.
I’m in the hospital.

Why was Steve fired from his bingo caller job?
Apparently, “A meal for two with a hairy view” is not an appropriate way of calling out number 69….

A man went to the doctor because he was having problems with premature ejac*lation.
“Try surprising yourself when you feel like you’re about to ejac*late,” the doctor said.
That following day, the man went to the store, purchased a starter gun, and dashed home to his wife.
That night, the two were making love and ended up in position 69. The man felt the need to ejac*late and pulled out the starting pistol.
The next day, he returned to the doctor, who inquired about his progress.
The man answered, “Not well. When I fired the pistol, my wife pooped on my face, bit three inches off my manhood, and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air.”

How many immature people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

How is 69 similar to an Escher painting?
My upstairs is on your downstairs and your downstairs is on my upstairs

Do you know how to say ‘I love you’ while sixty-nining?
You don’t, it’s rude to talk with your mouth full.

Did you find these funny jokes on 69? Do let us know more puns in the comment box below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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