30 Dark Madeleine Mccann Jokes That You’ve Been Missing

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Jessica Amlee


The Madeleine McCann case, involving the disappearance of a young British girl in Portugal in 2007, has been the subject of extensive media coverage and public interest. Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon for high-profile cases to attract a range of reactions, including inappropriate humour or mockery. Here are some reasons why this might happen:

The Madeleine McCann case, like many high-profile cases, has been subject to numerous conspiracy theories and speculations. This can sometimes lead to inappropriate jokes or comments, especially if people don’t believe the official accounts or are sceptical about the details.

Funny Madeleine McCann Jokes

Did you hear that Madeline McCann’s parents have spent £1,000,000 searching for their daughter?
Let’s hope that includes the £10 they could’ve spent on getting a babysitter.

How do you know that Summer’s Coming?
After an announcement from the police that they’re heading off to Portugal for a few weeks to search a new location for Madeleine McCann.

What’s the difference between Madeleine McCann and a submarine?
One is 100ft below sea level and full of seamen whilst the other is a submarine.

What’s the difference between Madeleine McCann and Batman?
Batman Returns.

Did you hear that Kate and Gerry McCann have just found out that she is pregnant again?
They’ve already decided to give it up for abduction.

What is the difference between Madeleine McCann and Heath Ledger?
Ledger was in a movie called Brokeback Mountain, McCann was mounted til her back broke.

What’s brown and rusty?
Madeleine Mccanns bike.

What is the difference between Maddie McCann and Greta Thunberg?
We know where Greta stands on the Planet.

Which one doesn’t fit with the following: gold, silver, wine, olive oil, Madeline McCann and zinc?
It’s Zinc but do you know why? Because zinc is the only one not to be traded around the Mediterranean.

Kate McCann has said she’s ready to forgive the person responsible for Maddie’s disappearance,
It must be nice for her to be able to look in the mirror and do her own make-up again.

What does R.I.P. stand for on Madeline McCann’s grave?
Return If Possible.

What’s the similarity between the World Cup and Madeleine McCann?
They both never returned to England.

Kate McCann says, “Madeleine was hard not to love.”
Although not someone you’d want to be seen with in a restaurant it seems.

What’s pink and got cobwebs on it?
Madeleine McCann’s bicycle.

What’s the difference between Madeleine McCann and Madeleine McCann’s jokes?
Madeleine McCann jokes get old.

Why shouldn’t you buy a copy of ‘Madeline’ by Kate McCann?
You would probably lose it on holiday.

What’s the difference between Madeline McCann & a cow?
You can’t milk a cow if it’s dead.

Do you know who is the best person in Hide & Seek internationally?
Maddie Mccann. She has already beaten Osama bin Laden’s hide-and-seek record.

Why do English people keep saying “It’s Coming Home”?
That’s an awful way to talk about Madeleine McCann’s body.

Kate McCann is featuring on Britain’s Got Talent this year.
She’s going to make all the kids in the audience disappear whilst drinking a bottle of wine.

They say you can’t get away with murder,
Well, now we know two people who McCann.

A brand new car is being launched in Portugal, which includes space in the boot for a child.
It’s called the Renault McCann.

What’s worse than Michael Jackson babysitting your kids?
The McCanns taking them on holiday.

How many McCanns does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to take it away and bury it when they realize it’s dead, and one to write a book about how much they miss the light bulb and wish they hadn’t left it on its own while they went out enjoying themselves at a tapas bar.

Kate and Gerry McCann have revealed which pop group they listen to the most.
The Mamas And The Tapas.

Recommended: Pedo Jokes

Why did Kate and Gerry McCann cross the road?
“To get to the airport for another free holiday, sorry, I meant to investigate another sighting of Maddie in an exotic location.”

Muslims have stopped helping in the search for Maddie McCann.
Now that she would’ve been 16.

This Kate and Gerry McCann Advent Calendar is a bit sh*t.
The windows have all been opened and some c*nt has nicked all the chocolates.

Do you have a dark joke about Madeleine McCann? Write down your own puns in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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