Passover is a holiday that commemorates the liberation of the Israelites from slavery in ancient Egypt and takes place on the 15th of Nisan, the first month of Aviv, or spring. While the holiday is typically observed with solemnity and reverence, there’s no reason you can’t have some laughs along the way. That’s why we’ve put together a collection of the funniest Passover jokes around.
From puns to one-liners to riddles, our selection is sure to put a smile on your face and add some levity to your Seder table. Whether you share them with your family and friends during the holiday or keep them to yourself for a little chuckle, these Passover jokes are the perfect way to celebrate this important holiday with a lighthearted touch.
Best Passover Jokes
Did you hear about the Jew who is in a synagogue, and can’t leave due to a heavy storm?
He’ll just wait for it to Passover.
Why is Passover the slowest time of the year for Jewish divorce lawyers?
Leaven is forbidden.
What kind of cheese do Jewish people eat on Passover?
Matzoh-rella.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Seder.
(Seder who?)
Say de-right words.
Why isn’t Jesus kosher for Passover?
Because he’s risen.
Why did the Jewish pilot refuse to land at the airport?
Because it was Passover.
Recommended: Funny Jewish Jokes
Do you know that Religious people get mad about abortions because they think it’s killing babies?
They must’ve forgotten what Passover was about.
Why did the Matzah cross the road?
To get covered in road salt so it would taste better.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Eli-ah.
(Eli-ah who?)
Eliahu hanavi!
Why did the frog jump in front of a moving truck?
It was a Dom (dumb) tzfardeah!
What do you call someone who drives pleasure from the bread of affliction?
A matzochist.
A British Jew is in line to be knighted by the Queen.
When she taps him on the shoulders with her sword, he has to kneel in front of her and repeat a Latin statement. Nevertheless, when it is his turn, he panics in the heat of the moment and forgets the Latin. Then, quickly recalling the Passover seder, he recites the only other statement he knows in a foreign language:
“Ma nishtanah halailah hazeh mikol haleilot.”
Puzzled, Her Majesty turns to her advisor and whispers, “Why is this knight different from all other knights?”
What do you call it when Anakin Skywalker shows up for Passover?
Darth Seder.
Recommended: Easter Jokes
What do Japanese Jews call a lunar phenomenon on the evening of Passover?
Sedar Moon.
What were the Jews saying during the pandemic Passover?
“Well, this isn’t the worst Passover we’ve had.”
Why did the Swedish egg farmer get invited to the Seder?
To tell his Yolks.
A Jewish man ate his Passover meal outside in the park. He sat on a bench and started eating. A blind man came by and sat down next to him a short time later.
The Jewish man, feeling neighborly, passed a sheet of matzo to the blind man.
The blind man ran his fingers over the matzo for a few minutes, looked puzzled, and finally exclaimed, “Who wrote this crap?”
Why couldn’t the rabbi eat out during Passover?
His girlfriend had a yeast infection.
How do Jews smoke weed?
They puff puff Passover.
Why did the matzo apply for a job?
It wanted to rise to the occasion!
Recommended: Lent Jokes
The year is 1948. Ben-Gurion opens up a first Knesset session and says: “Before we begin, I just want to remind you of an old Passover tale. When the Jews led by Moses came to Jordan river after walking through the desert they decided to freshen up, so they left all their clothes on the shore and entered the water. But when they came out, they found out that the clothes were gone. Probably the Arabs stole it”
Arab MK jumps from his seat and shouts, “That’s a lie! There were no Arabs back then!”
Ben-Gurion smiles and says, “Thank you! That’s what I wanted to begin with, really!”
How do you catch a squirrel during Passover?
Climb a tree and act like a nut!
What internet search engine do Jews use for Passover?
EliYAHOO!
What movie do the Jews watch on Passover?
Shawshankbone Redemption.
How does a rabbi make coffee on Passover?
Hebrews it.
Did you hear about an Egyptian taskmaster who fell down a wishing well?
The Jewish slave was amazed and thought to himself, “I never knew they worked.”
As a little kid went home from Hebrew school, his father said, “What did you learn today?”
“The Rabbi told us how Moses led the children of Israel out of Egypt,” he said.
“How?”
The youngster answered “Moses was a hugely powerful man who thrashed Pharoah. While he was down, he gathered everyone and ran towards the water. As he arrives, he orders the Corps of Engineers to construct a massive pontoon bridge. When they arrived on the other side, they blew up the bridge as the Egyptians attempted to cross.”
The father was taken aback. “Did the Rabbi teach you that?”
The youngster responded, “No. But you wouldn’t believe the story he DID tell us!”
What is the origin of the name Passover?
Because the Seder table is usually larger, people can’t reach the objects on the table and must ask others, “Could you please Pass Over the matza, etc.”!
Recommended: Passover Memes
What part of Passover do pirates love the most?
The sed arrrrrrr!
Why did the matzah want to be an afikomen?
It was ready for its big break.
Where does the U.S. military store its chametz?
Fort Leavenworth.
The Jews have set their camp in front of the Red Sea. They notice the approaching Egyptian chariots. Moses turns to his publicist.
Moses: So, where are those boats you promised us?
Publicist: Boats? You didn’t mention anything about boats.
Moses: So, what do you want me to do? Part the waters and we can all just walk across?
Publicist: If you can afford it, I’ll get you your own Bible chapter!
What was Pharoah’s problem in the First Plague?
Denial.
What was Pharoah’s problem in the Second Plague?
Frog in his throat.
What do you call a Jewish superhero who can part the sea?
Moses Man.
Arthur Miller takes Marilyn Monroe to his mother’s apartment for her first seder. Miller asks Marilyn if she had a good time on the way home.
“Honey,” she continues, “I liked it all—all your family gathered, the ceremony, the prayers, the food—especially the food.”
“I’m overjoyed,” Miller adds, “but tell me, love, which meal was your favorite?”
“Your mother’s chicken soup was delicious,” Marilyn remarks. “It’s incredibly clear, golden, and delicious.”
“How about the matzo balls?” he inquires. “How did you like my mom’s matzo balls?”
“Well, Arthur, those matzo balls were my favorite. How did your mum get them to be so light, spherical, and delicious? These were very delicious.”
“My mother will be pleased to hear it,” Miller says.
“In fact, I’ll write your mother a note tomorrow about her fabulous matzo balls. I just loved those matzo balls to death. But tell me, Arthur, what do you Jews do with the rest of the matzo?”
Why did the Easter Bunny bring matzah to the Seder?
Because he didn’t want to put all his eggs in one basket!
Do you have another funny Passover joke? Post your own Passover puns in the comment section below.
Did you hear about the gefilte fish that went deaf?
He had to buy a herring-aid.