Lent, that time of year when folks try to give up chocolates, chips, or whatever else they’ve been bingeing on, is like a seasonal sport for the soul. It’s a 40-day challenge where participants (reluctantly) wave goodbye to their guilty pleasures, in a bid to get spiritually buff before Easter Sunday rolls around. Think of it as the ultimate test of willpower, where the only thing heavier than the cravings is the air of solemnity. But just like every intense workout plan, it’s not complete without a bit of fun to keep your spirits high. That’s where Lent jokes come sliding into the picture, ready to lighten the mood.
Now, Lent jokes are the secret sauce to making this solemn period a tad more bearable. They’re the comic relief in the drama of deprivation, proving that even in a time of reflection, laughter doesn’t need to take a backseat. So, as we navigate the choppy waters of Lent, let’s arm ourselves with humor because sometimes, the best way to keep afloat is by laughing in the face of temptation.
Best Lent Jokes
Did you hear that Chris is giving up negativity for lent?
We’ll see how long that lasts.
Why can’t muggers catch Catholics during Lent?
They fast.
What do you guys think of the idea to abstain from working with spreadsheets for 40 days before Easter?
Because personally, it’s Excel Lent.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Alma.
(Alma who?)
Alma-ty who’s giving up sweets for Lent!
I’ve been trying to give up innuendo for Lent.
But it’s so hard, and longer than I realised.
What did you give up for Lent?
Catholicism!
Lent is always a hard time for the Catholic woodworker. He can’t clamp anything in place while he works.
He had to give up his vises.
Did you notice that every time you’re at a restaurant during lent?
The menu always seems a little fishy.
Did you fail to keep your New Year’s resolution?
Well, then, lent is the best opportunity to fail at it again.
Why did the priest go to the gym during Lent?
To do some cross-fitness.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Nun.
(Nun who?)
Nun of your business what I’m giving up for Lent!
What’s Rick Astley giving up for lent?
Not you.
I decided to give up complaining for Lent.
It sucks.
Why did the chicken refuse to eat meat during Lent?
Because it was poultry in motion!
John Smith was the sole Protestant to settle in the predominantly Catholic area.
On the first Friday of Lent, John was outdoors on his grill, preparing a large delicious steak. Meanwhile, his neighbors were all having cold tuna fish for dinner. This happened every Friday throughout Lent.
The neighborhood men came together on the last Friday of Lent and decided that something had to be done about John since he was luring them to eat meat every Friday of Lent and they couldn’t stand it any longer. They planned to convert him to Catholicism. They went over to chat with him and were overjoyed when he decided to join the rest of his neighbors and become a Catholic.
They took him to church and the priest poured some water over him and told him “Your were born a Baptist, you were raised a Baptist and now you are a Catholic”. The males in the area were overjoyed since their biggest Lent temptation had been eliminated.
Lent came around again the following year. The first Friday of Lent arrived, and just as the community was settling down to their fish meals, the wafting aroma of steak frying on a barbecue arrived. The males in the area couldn’t believe their eyes! What was the situation? They contacted each other and agreed to meet in John’s yard to check if he had forgotten it was Lent Friday.
The group arrived just in time to see John standing over his grill with a small pitcher of water. He was pouring small droplets over his steak on the grill and saying, “You were born a cow, you were raised a cow, and now you are a fish.”
What do you call an Easter bunny on skates?
A Lent roller.
Recommended: Easter Jokes
Why is Lent the best time of the year to run a marathon?
Because that’s when you fast.
What do you call a group of Lent observers who are always hungry?
The fasting and the furious.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Fish.
(Fish who?)
Fish you a happy Lenten season filled with blessings and peace!
Why couldn’t the priest find his rosary?
Because it was Lent.
Why did the baker give up bread for Lent?
He kneaded a break.
Outside of mass hours, a man walks into a church and finds the priest.
“Give me all you have,” he says as he pulls out a revolver.
The priest becomes terrified and hastily searches his pockets.
He doesn’t have any money on him, but he discovers some wrapped candy and holds it out, saying, “I’m sorry. This is all I’ve got!”
“But Father, I gave up candy during Lent!” says the burglar.
Don’t you think there should be a holiday where we remember all the borrowed items we’ve given out that have never been returned?
We’ll call it ‘Lent.’
What do you call a person who gives up their favorite TV show for Lent?
A sacrifan.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Cross.
(Cross who?)
Cross your fingers that you can stick to your Lenten resolutions this year!
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel!
Why did the musician give up playing the drums for Lent?
Because he wanted to beat temptation.
It was a young couple’s wedding night, and as the night progressed, the bride became increasingly eager to consummate their marriage.
“Uh, honey?” she finally asked. It’s late, aren’t we going to – well – do it?”
“I can’t,” her spouse said. “It’s Lent.”
“It’s lent?!” she exclaimed. “That’s ridiculous! To who and for how long?”
What do you call a sleepy person on Ash Wednesday?
Lent-argic.
Recommended: Ash Wednesday Jokes
What did the pancake say to the syrup during Lent?
“I’m sorry, I gave up sweets for 40 days.”
During Lent, a devout parishioner wanders through heavy rain through hamburger huts and steak places into Mount Angel’s monastery and asks for shelter. He arrived just in time for dinner and received the finest fish and chips he’s ever tasted.
He walks into the kitchen after supper to thank the chefs. “Hi, my name is Brother Michael, and this is Brother Francis,” he is greeted by two brothers.
“I’m delighted to meet you. I just wanted to say thank you for a delicious dinner. I had the finest fish and chips I’d ever had. Who cooked what, just out of curiosity?”
Brother Michael replies, “Well, I’m the fish friar.”
The man turns to the other brother and says, “Then you must be . . .”
“Yes, I’m afraid I’m the chip monk.”
What’s the only meat a priest can eat during Lent?
Nun.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Easter.
(Easter who?)
Easter you glad Lent only lasts 40 days?
What do you call a Lenten joke?
A sacrilol.
What do you call a Lenten pizza?
No-meat-za.
At a baseball game, a father and his son were enjoying the match when the father turned to his son and inquired, “So, what are you thinking of quitting for Lent?” The boy, puzzled, bounced the question back, “What about you, Dad? What’s your plan?”
The father, with a thoughtful look, declared, “After much consideration, I’ve decided to quit drinking liquor.”
As the game progressed, the beer vendor came around, and the dad didn’t hesitate to order a beer. His son, confused, pointed out, “But Dad, I thought you were giving up on liquor for Lent!”
With a grin, the father explained, “Oh, I meant the strong stuff, son. I’m giving up the strong stuff. Beer doesn’t count.”
To which the boy replied, “Well then, I’m giving up hard candy.”
Why did the athlete give up running for Lent?
He wanted to walk with Jesus.
Why did the potato chip give up poker for Lent?
Because it had too many chips on its shoulder and wanted to quit while it was ahead!
Why did the clock give up ticking for Lent?
It wanted to take time off and unwind!
Recommended: Jesus Jokes
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Lettuce.
(Lettuce who?)
Lettuce give up something for Lent, it’s good for the soul!
What did the priest say to the bear who gave up honey for Lent?
“Bear with me, it’s only 40 days.”
Why are some thanking God that lent is over?
Not using condoms was definitely getting nerve-wracking.
What is the difference between Lent and NNN?
None, Lent is just No Nut November for Catholic Priests.
Do you have a lent joke? Post your own lent puns in the comment section below!
Why don’t you see many Easter bunnies during Lent?
They’re too busy hopping to church!