70 Funny Stephen Hawking Jokes That Are Exceptional

Updated on:

Jessica Amlee

No Comments

Stephen Hawking was an iconic figure in the realm of theoretical physics. Born on January 8, 1942, his groundbreaking work on black holes and quantum mechanics revolutionized our understanding of the universe. Hawking is perhaps best known for his work on the theory of relativity, which led to the prediction of Hawking radiation. However, he wasn’t just a brilliant scientist. He was also a cultural phenomenon, known for his appearances in popular shows like “The Big Bang Theory” and “The Simpsons,” his best-selling book “A Brief History of Time,” and his inspiring battle with ALS, which rendered him almost completely paralyzed.

Stephen Hawking’s jokes are funny because they often play on his genius-level intellect and his status as a cultural icon. They might take the form of smart humor, exploiting scientific jargon or complex concepts in a way that’s unexpected and humorous. Or, they might poke fun at Hawking’s appearances in popular culture, twisting common sitcom scenarios or punchlines to incorporate his unique persona. It’s a humor that celebrates Hawking’s immense contributions to science and culture, offering a playful nod to his legacy while providing a laugh or two along the way.

Best Stephen Hawking Jokes

Did you hear about a fan who tried calling Stephen Hawking many times?
He keeps getting his answering machine.

Why did Stephen Hawking do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand up.

Why did Stephen Hawking stop playing hide and seek with his friends?
They started using a metal detector.

“There is no God” -Stephen Hawking, 2011
“There is no Stephen Hawking” – God, 2018

Yo mama so fat, she gives off Hawking radiation.

What does Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashes?

What was the first thing Stephen Hawking said when his computer restarted?
Award Modular BIOS v6.00PC, An Energy Star Ally.

Have you ever seen Stephen Hawking in a debate though?
He certainly, rolls, with the punches.

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Not Stephen Hawking.

Do you know that Stephen Hawking’s death was purely accidental?
The guy must’ve clicked shutdown instead of sleep.

Why was Stephen Hawking on Tinder?
He was looking for black holes.

What do you call Stephen Hawking when he’s bathing in a jacuzzi?
Vegetable soup.

Recommended: Disability Jokes

Did you know physicist Stephen Hawking also published a book about herbs?
It’s called ‘A Brief History of Thyme.’

Why was Stephen Hawking successful?
He couldn’t run away from his responsibilities.

Yo mama so fat, Stephen hawking based his black hole theory on her a**hole!

Don’t we all know that Jesus walked on water?
But Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.
Just kidding.

What was the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie?
Stephen Hawking din’t walkie or talkie.

The other day this young kid decided to buy an Ouija board, so he could get in touch with deceased celebrities that haven’t crossed over yet,
The only celebrity he could get in touch with was Stephen Hawking.
He asked him a few questions including why he was a ghost and had not gone to the afterlife yet.
Turns out Led Zeppelin was right all along, there is a stairway to heaven.

What was the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he’s hooked up to?
The computer runs.

Recommended: Wheelchair Jokes

Stephen Hawkings’ last paper on space is finally going to be published posthumously.
It’s about time too.

Did Stephen Hawking have a donor card?
Cause a parent really need bits for his kids go-kart.

What do Stephen Hawking and Tony Hawk have in common?
The both love ramps.

What’s the quietest album in the world?
Stephen Hawking – unplugged.

Imagine if Stephen Hawking, the renowned physicist and cosmologist, ventured into the world of business to start a company. Given his unmatched intellectual prowess, he’d surely occupy a top leadership position. But which title would suit him best? CEO? President?
Hawking’s ideal role in the company would be none other than… the Chairman.

Do you know that Stephen Hawking is a very paranoid man?
He’s always looking over his shoulder.

What has hands but can’t clap?
Stephen Hawking.

What was Stephen Hawking when he was younger?
Stephen Walking.

Yo mama so intelligent, she’s the only person that can talk down to Stephen Hawking.

Have you heard people saying that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger?
Stephen Hawking disagrees.

Recommended: Funny Cripple Jokes

What did Stephen Hawking say when he was busted cheating by his wife?
“Honey, wait, I can explain EVERYTHING!”

What’s burnt to a crisp and at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking after a house fire.

How does Stephen Hawking commit suicide?

Stephen Hawking came back from his first date in 10 years. His Glasses were smashed, he had a broken wrist, twisted ankle and grazed knees.
Apparently, she stood him up.

What were Stephen Hawking’s last words?
Ctrl + Alt + Del.

Even the most intelligent people can’t survive a day without electricity.
Like Stephen Hawking.

Which famous scientist in history would be the worst at basketball?
Stephen Hawking.

Did you hear about the new Stephen Hawking action film?
Missionary Impossible.

How does Stephen Hawking refresh after a long workday?

Have you ever walked past Stephen Hawking’s house?
Neither has he.

What was on Stephen Hawking’s gravestone?
Intel Inside®

What is Stephen Hawking known for?
Skipping leg day.

What’s Stephen Hawking’s least favorite song?
Stairway to Heaven.

What is Stephen Hawking’s favorite fruit?

Why did Hawking have a droopy head?
Vegetables wilt when you put them out for too long.

Why is Stephen Hawking regarded as the smartest man ever?
He can never stand corrected.

What do you call a woman who pleasures herself with a vegetable?
Mrs Hawking.

What did Steven Hawking say when he first got his wheelchair?
“I can’t stand being in this!”

What is it called when Stephen Hawking masturbates?
Popping a wheelie.

What do you call Stephen Hawking’s autobiography?
A VeggieTale.

Who is the sibling that sparks a touch of envy in Stephen Hawking?
Stephen Walking.

Why does Stephen Hawking date African Americans?
Because he loves to study black holes.

It’s a shame that Steven Hawking died.
He’s been on a roll since age 21.

Why did Stephen Hawking live for so long after he was diagnosed with MND?
He turned on Power Saver mode.

Why should Stephen Hawking have been buried after his funeral?
When you plant a vegetable they regrow.

Why did Steven Hawking get picked on?
He never stood up to bullies.

What do you call Stephen Hawking after cremation?
A Baked Potato.

What do Stephen Hawking and Princess Diana have in common?
They both died on four wheels.

What do you call a hand job from Stephen Hawking?
A stroke of Genius.

What does Kindle reading Fifty Shades of Grey to you feel like?
It’s like getting an obscene phone call from Stephen Hawking.

Did you hear that Stephen Hawking was diagnosed with erectile dysfunction?
It was easy to fix, they just uninstalled his pop-up blocker.

Why did Stephen Hawking only eat meat?
Because eating vegetables would be cannibalism.

Why couldn’t Stephen Hawking dance?
Because he was white.

How does Stephen Hawking have sex?
Enter, backspace, enter, backspace, enter, backspace…!

What is Stephan Hawking’s favorite corn genre?
Ebony. The dude loves black holes.

Do you have a funny Stephen Hawking joke? Write down your own dark puns in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

Leave a Comment