Arsenal, known as the Gunners, is a club with a rich history and a knack for stirring up rival banter. From their “Invincibles” season to their struggles with finishing fourth (or not finishing there at all), Arsenal fans have heard it all. Rivals love to poke fun at their “pass, pass, pass, no shoot” style and the way their trophy cabinet collected dust for years. It’s all part of being an Arsenal fan-loyalty, hope, and the endless teasing from Spurs fans.
Arsenal jokes have become a sport of their own, keeping fans and rivals equally entertained. Whether it’s about their title droughts, late-season collapses, or famous moments of “almost,” these jokes never seem to run out. Even Arsenal fans can’t help but chuckle, showing they’ve mastered the art of laughing through the pain.
Best Arsenal F.C. Jokes
How bad is inflation?
Just heard someone has paid £105 million for rice.
What did the Arsenal fan say when they won the Community Shield?
“I’m gunner celebrate all night long!”
How are Arsenal and a rollercoaster alike?
Both go on the top and eventually come down.
Why did the Arsenal fan cross the road?
To get to the other side… and hope for a better season next year.
Heard the new Premier League chat up line?
“They call me Arsenal, I start on top and finish 2nd!”
A man walked by a restaurant in Islington, London
He noticed all the customers drinking tea in saucers.
He asked one of them as to why he was drinking tea in a saucer.
With tears in his eyes, he replied, “The City players have taken away our cup.”
I was going to write a football joke…
But Arsenal beat me to it.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Wenger.
(Wenger who?)
Wenger you going to stop being so mediocre, Arsenal?
Why is the devil happy?
Even Jesus and Mohammed couldn’t win the league for Arsenal.
I like my women like Arsenal’s back four.
Slow, defenceless & easy to penetrate round the back.
Why do so many housewives love Arsenal?
Because they stay on top for ages and then come second.
What is the similarity between Arsenal on top of the EPL table and an elephant on top of a tree?
Nobody knows how it got there but everybody knows how it will fall.
What do you call a Spanish man with 11 pr*cks?
Mikel Arteta.
Why did Jesus join Arsenal?
He wanted to join a team where everyone is called Gabriel.
Why did the aliens land in the Emirates?
Because there’s no atmosphere.
What’s the problem with Martin Ødegaard?
Odegaard wouldn’t shoot Hitler if he had a gun.
What is so strange about The Gunner’s defeat to Man Utd?
They had Jesus, Mohamed, and Ram in their team and still lost to the devils.
Why should Arsenal FC’s support staff be careful with Gabriel Jesus after New Year?
Once he goes off, history tells us he’ll be out until Easter.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Gunner.
(Gunner who?)
Gunner be a long season for Arsenal at this rate!
Have you all heard about the new Arsenal Bra?
It has a whole lot of support but it doesn’t have any cups.
What’s a pirate’s favorite football club?
Arrrrrrrsenal.
How do you make an Arsenal fan a millionaire?
Tell them to save up for the UCL final.
Recommended: Tottenham Jokes
Why is Arsenal gutted at the collapse of the European Super League?
They were really looking forward to the possibility of finishing as high as 12th place.
Which team always starts the match with a bang?
The Gunners!
Why did Super League invite Arsenal?
Because someone has to finish bottom of the group and be okay with it.
What is PSG in the Champions League?
Arsenal in EPL.
Which football team uses the most toilet paper?
Arsenal.
A plane with 5 passengers was about to crash mid-air and there were only 4 parachutes.
The first passenger is Cristiano Ronaldo: I’m the world’s best footballer, and my fans still need me. He takes one parachute and jumps.
The second passenger is Elon Musk: I am the founder of SpaceX and king of the electric vehicle (EV) industry. – I’m an influence. He takes another one and jumps.
The third passenger was Mikel Arteta: I am the Manager of Arsenal FC and I am one of the most creative, most intelligent, and well-remembered football players. He takes one and jumps.
The fourth passenger was the Pope. Pope said to the 5th passenger, an 8-year-old girl, “I’m an old man. I’ll sacrifice my life for yours.”
But the girl replied, “No need for that, there are 2 parachutes left.”
“How is that possible?” asked Pope.
The girl replied, “That Arsenal FC Manager took my school bag.”
Recommended: Manchester United Jokes
Arsenal has been in the Champions League for 18 years straight and hasn’t won it, what are they gonna miss?
The anthem.
What do Arsenal FC & Oscar Pistorius both have in common?
Getting used to losing both legs.
What do you tell your girlfriend who needs space?
To check Arsenal’s trophy cabinet.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Emery.
(Emery who?)
Emery day Arsenal fans are hoping for a better season!
What do Arsenal and Tottenham fans have in common?
They’re both obsessed with Tottenham.
What’s the difference between The Emirates and a cactus?
With the cactus, the pr*cks are on the outside.
There are three friends. Each supports a different team, one for Hartlepool, one for Liverpool, and one for Arsenal. Their plane crashes in the middle of the ocean, and each of them ends up on a desert island with only one sheep. They slaughter the sheep and use their wool for warmth until they become hungry.
The Hartlepool fan says, “I’m from Hartlepool so I’ll have the heart.” The Liverpool fan says, “I’m from Liverpool so I’ll have the liver.”
At last, the Arsenal fan says, “Urm… I’m not hungry.”
Why are Bayern fans sad?
No Arsenal again in UCL this season.
How does Arsenal do in Europe?
They 10-2 get knocked out.
Did you hear about the ref who was flashed by a soccer team?
He saw arsenal.
Recommended: Liverpool Jokes
About every ten years a small team wins the EPL.
86′ – Forest
95′ – Blackburn
04′ – Arsenal
16′ – Leicester
Santa: What do you want for Christmas?
Arsenal fan: I want a dragon.
Santa: Come on. Be realistic.
Arsenal fan: Okay. I want Arsenal to win the Champions League.
Santa: So what color of the dragon are we talking about here?
What is the difference between Arsenal’s players going to Chelsea and Chelsea’s players going to Arsenal?
One goes to retire while the other goes to win trophies.
What is Arsenal calling their gay team, added to promote equality?
The official name will be “Upthearsenal” but fans are expected to call them by their nickname of “The rear Gunners.”
What is Arsenal’s mascot Gunnersaurus saying?
“I survived extinction for this f*cking shit.”
A man stopped another man in the street and said, “Can you help me? I’m looking for a rubbish tip.”
The other man said, “Arsenal to win the Premier League.”
A woman was reading a newspaper one morning when she mentioned a piece of news to her husband.
“Take a look at this, dear. There’s an article here about a man who traded his wife for an Arsenal season ticket. You’d never do something like that, would you?”
“Of course not!” exclaimed her husband. “The season is nearly over!”
Why does Arsenal FC plant potatoes at the edge of the pitch?
So they have something major to lift at the end of the season.
What are the three people you can never advise?
- A woman in love
- A man with money
- A person who supports arsenal
How do you make an Arsenal fan a millionaire?
Tell them to save up for the champions league final.
Recommended: Chelsea Jokes
How many Arsenal fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They’re still talking about the lightbulb that they originally tried to buy but didn’t.
What have Arsenal FC and demonstrators got in common?
They get beaten regularly.
Why was the wife shocked on the wedding night?
She thought she was marrying an Arsenal fan not an arsehole fan.
Did you hear what England’s 1st gay professional footballer said?
“It’s his dream to play for Arsenal.”
Have a funny joke on Arsenal? Post your Arsenal banter in the comment section below.
What do you say to a Gunners supporter with a good looking bird on his arm?
Nice tattoo.
What’s the difference between arsenal and the band ‘queen’ ?
Arsenal will never be the champions.