50 Funny Arsenal Jokes You Shouldn’t Tell A Gunner

Arsenal Jokes On The Gunners
Funny Arsenal Jokes

Arsenal’s 100% win record start to the EPL season 2022-23 was finally ended after six games, and fans are speculating about a similar pattern in previous seasons post-Wenger era. This Arsenal team is demonstrating dominance and superiority over their opponents. But a defeat at Old Trafford might need some players to reflect on their poor performances before quickly pulling back.

Here are some of the funniest Arsenal Jokes from their season 2022/23.

Best Arsenal F.C. Jokes 

To promote equality Arsenal have announced that they are forming a gay football team.
The official name will be “Upthearsenal” but fans are expected to call them by their nickname of “The rear Gunners.”

Did you hear about the EPL title party?
Man City invited Arsenal to the Etihad 4-1 reason!

Heard the new Premier League chat up line?
“They call me Arsenal, I start on top and finish 2nd!”

A man walked by a restaurant in Islington, London
He noticed all the customers drinking tea in saucers.
He asked one of them as to why he was drinking tea in a saucer.
With tears in his eyes, he replied, “The City players have taken away our cup.”

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
(Wenger who?)
Wenger you going to stop being so mediocre, Arsenal?

Why is the devil happy?
Even Jesus and Mohammed couldn’t win the league for Arsenal.

What trophy will Arsenal win this season?
August invincibles.

Why do so many housewives love Arsenal?
Because they stay on top for ages and then come second.

What is the similarity between Arsenal on top of the EPL table and an elephant on top of a tree?
Nobody knows how it got there but everybody knows how it will fall.

Why did Jesus join Arsenal?
He wanted to join a team where everyone is called Gabriel.

Why did the aliens land in the Emirates?
Because there’s no atmosphere.

What’s the problem with Martin Ødegaard?
Odegaard wouldn’t shoot Hitler if he had a gun.

What is so strange about The Gunner’s defeat to Man Utd?
They had Jesus, Mohamed, and Ram in their team and still lost to the devils.

Why should Arsenal FC’s support staff be careful with Gabriel Jesus after New Year?
Once he goes off, history tells us he’ll be out until Easter.

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
(Gunner who?)
Gunner be a long season for Arsenal at this rate!

Have you all heard about the new Arsenal Bra?
It has a whole lot of support but it doesn’t have any cups.

What’s a pirate’s favorite football club?

How do you make an Arsenal fan a millionaire?
Tell them to save up for the UCL final.

Recommended: Tottenham Jokes

Why is Arsenal gutted at the collapse of the European Super League?
They were really looking forward to the possibility of finishing as high as 12th place.

What did the Arsenal fan say when they won the FA Cup?
“I’m gunner celebrate all night long!”

Which team always starts the match with a bang?
The Gunners!

Did you hear about Arsenal’s 6th consecutive season in Europa League?
They are going to visit places we have only seen in Bible to play football.

Why did Super League invite Arsenal?
Because someone has to finish bottom of the group and be okay with it.

What is PSG in the Champions League?
Arsenal in EPL.

Which football team uses the most toilet paper?

A plane with 5 passengers was about to crash mid-air and there were only 4 parachutes.
The first passenger is Cristiano Ronaldo: I’m the world’s best footballer, and my fans still need me. He takes one parachute and jumps.
The second passenger is Elon Musk: I am the founder of SpaceX and king of the electric vehicle (EV) industry. – I’m an influence. He takes another one and jumps.
The third passenger was Mikel Arteta: I am the Manager of Arsenal FC and I am one of the most creative, most intelligent, and well-remembered­ football players. He takes one and jumps.
The fourth passenger was the Pope. Pope said to the 5th passenger, an 8-year-old girl, “I’m an old man. I’ll sacrifice my life for yours.”
But the girl replied, “No need for that, there are 2 parachutes left.”
“How is that possible?” asked Pope.
The girl replied, “That Arsenal FC Manager took my school bag.”

Recommended: Manchester United Jokes

Arsenal has been in the Champions League for 18 years straight and hasn’t won it, what are they gonna miss?
The anthem.

What do Arsenal FC & Oscar Pistorius both have in common?
Getting used to losing both legs.

What do you tell your girlfriend who needs space?
To check Arsenal’s trophy cabinet.

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
(Emery who?)
Emery day Arsenal fans are hoping for a better season!

What do Arsenal and Tottenham fans have in common?
They’re both obsessed with Tottenham.

What’s the difference between The Emirates and a cactus?
With the cactus, the pricks are on the outside.

There are three friends. Each supports a different team, one for Hartlepool, one for Liverpool, and one for Arsenal. Their plane crashes in the middle of the ocean, and each of them ends up on a desert island with only one sheep. They slaughter the sheep and use their wool for warmth until they become hungry.
The Hartlepool fan says, “I’m from Hartlepool so I’ll have the heart.” The Liverpool fan says, “I’m from Liverpool so I’ll have the liver.”
At last, the Arsenal fan says, “Urm… I’m not hungry.”

Why are Bayern fans sad?
No Arsenal again in UCL this season.

How does Arsenal do in Europe?
They 10-2 get knocked out.

Did you hear about the ref who was flashed by a soccer team?
He saw arsenal.

Recommended: Liverpool Jokes

About every ten years a small team wins the EPL.
86′ – Forest
95′ – Blackburn
04′ – Arsenal
16′ – Leicester

Santa: What do you want for Christmas?
Arsenal fan: I want a dragon.
Santa: Come on. Be realistic.
Arsenal fan: Okay. I want Arsenal to win the Champions League.
Santa: So what color of the dragon are we talking about here?

What is the difference between Arsenal’s players going to Chelsea and Chelsea’s players going to Arsenal?
One goes to retire while the other goes to win trophies.

What is Arsenal calling their gay team, added to promote equality?
The official name will be “Upthearsenal” but fans are expected to call them by their nickname of “The rear Gunners.”

What is Arsenal’s mascot Gunnersaurus saying?
“I survived extinction for this fucking shit.”

A man stopped another man in the street and said, “Can you help me? I’m looking for a rubbish tip.”
The other man said, “Arsenal to win the Premier League.”

A woman was reading a newspaper one morning when she mentioned a piece of news to her husband.
“Take a look at this, dear. There’s an article here about a man who traded his wife for an Arsenal season ticket. You’d never do something like that, would you?”
“Of course not!” exclaimed her husband. “The season is nearly over!”

Why does Arsenal FC plant potatoes at the edge of the pitch?
So they have something major to lift at the end of the season.

What are the three people you can never advise?

  1. A woman in love
  2. A man with money
  3. A person who supports arsenal

How do you make an Arsenal fan a millionaire?
Tell them to save up for the champions league final.

Recommended: Chelsea Jokes

How many Arsenal fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They’re still talking about the lightbulb that they originally tried to buy but didn’t.

What have Arsenal FC and demonstrators got in common?
They get beaten regularly.

Why was the wife shocked on the wedding night?
She thought she was marrying an Arsenal fan not an arsehole fan.

Did you hear what England’s 1st gay professional footballer said?
“It’s his dream to play for Arsenal.”

Have a funny joke on Arsenal? Post your Arsenal banter in the comment section below.

What do you think?

Written by Jessica Amlee

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Known for her sharp wit and clever wordplay, Jessica has authored several popular joke books. A regular at stand-up comedy clubs, she never fails to leave her audience in stitches. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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