50 Funny Brunette Jokes That Will Have A Blonde in Stitches

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Jessica Amlee

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Brunette jokes are a popular form of humor that has been around for decades. These jokes often play off the stereotype that brunettes are not smart, or that they are more serious and less fun-loving. While it’s important to note that these stereotypes are not necessarily true, the jokes can still be amusing and entertaining when taken in good humor.

Whether it’s a witty one-liner or a hilarious anecdote, there’s no denying that brunette jokes have the power to make us laugh and brighten up our day. Many brunette jokes appear to torment blondes and redheads rather than necessarily making fun of those with dark hair. Yet, some people portray brunettes as having poor hygiene. Could this be the work of redheads and blondes? Nobody knows, but here are some of the more amusing of these gags.

Best Brunette Jokes

Why are there no brunette jokes?
Because blondes would have to think them up.

Why is brunette like a bedspread?
They both get turned down every night.

What do you call a brunette standing between two blondes?
The Interpreter.

What is the difference between a brunette and a bowling ball?
You can only fit three fingers in a bowling ball.

Why are brunette jokes one-liners?
So blondes can remember them.

What’s the most common pick-up line brunettes hear?
“How now, brown cow?”

If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a brunette?
A two-ton pickup.

What’s the difference between a brunette and a sumo wrestler?
At least the wrestler shaves their legs.

How are brunettes like rocks?
You skip the flat ones.

What do you call a brunette in a pool?
A block spot.

Why are brunettes so obsessive about their hair color?
It hides the dirt.

Why do brunettes make such bad lawyers?
They blow every case.

What is the one thing brunettes miss the most about a fantastic party?
A formal invitation.

What is the major reason a brunette can keep her figure?
No one else wants it​.

What do you call a highly attractive man who is dating a brunette?
A hostage.

The family ranch is passed down to two sisters, one blonde and one brunette.
However, they are in financial problems after only a few years.
To keep the ranch from being repossessed by the bank, they must purchase a bull so that they can breed their own animals.
The brunette balances their checkbook before driving out west to another property where a man is selling a championship bull.
Upon leaving, she tells her sister, “When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’ll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.”
As the brunette arrives at the property, she inspects the bull and decides she wants to buy it. The man informs her that he can sell it for no less than $599.
After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send a telegraph to her sister informing her of the news.
She walks into the telegraph office, and says, “I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I’ve bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick-up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.”
The telegraph operator expresses his willingness to assist her and adds, “It’s only 99 cents a word.”
With only $1 remaining after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes she can only email her sister one word.
After a few moments of thought, she agrees and says, “I want you to send her the word ‘comfortable.'”
The telegraph operator shakes his head. “How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pick-up truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, ‘comfortable’?” The brunette explains, “My sister’s blonde. She’ll read it slow.”

What do you call a good-looking man with a brunette?
A hostage.

Why can’t Helen Keller drive?
She’s is a brunette.

What’s blonde brunette blonde brunette blonde brunette blonde?
A naked blonde doing cartwheels.

Recommended: Blonde Jokes

What do you call a Blonde doing a handstand?
A Brunette with bad breath.

A gorgeous young brunette goes into the doctor’s office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
“Impossible!” says the doctor. “Show me”.
“The brunette took her finger, pushed on her left wrist, and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more.
She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise, she pushed her ankle and screamed.
Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, “You’re not really a brunette, are you?”
“Well, no,” she said, “I’m actually a blonde.”
“I thought so,” the doctor said. “Your finger is broken.”

What do you get if you turn a blonde upside down?
A smelly brunette.

What is more stupid than a brunette building a fire under the water?
The blonde who trying to put it out.

The brunette shouts to the blonde, “Hey, how do you get to the other side of the river?”
The blonde yells back, “You’re already ON the other side of the river!”

Why did the brunette cross the road?
Nobody knows. They were all too busy watching the blonde.

How do you know a brunette is really fat?
She sits on your face and you can’t hear the stereo.

A brunette woman walked along a train track, saying to herself, “42, 42, 42. 42, 42, 42.”
“What are you doing?” a blonde woman asked the brunette.
“I’m just walking along a railroad track saying 42, 42, 42,” the brunette explained.
“May I accompany you?”
As a result, the two women walked along the track, repeating, “42, 42, 42. 42, 42, 42.”
As another blonde noticed them, she asked, “What are you doing?”
“We’re just walking along a railroad track saying 42, 42, 42,” the brunette explained.
“May I accompany you?”
“Now there were three women walking down the track, saying, “42, 42, 42. 42, 42, 42. 42, 42, 42.”
A third blonde approached them and inquired, “What are you doing?”
“We’re just walking along a railroad track saying 42, 42, 42,” the brunette explained.
“May I accompany you?”
Now there were four women walking along the track repeating, “42, 42, 42. 42, 42, 42.”
The brunette then heard a rumbling sound. She noticed a train behind her. She jumped off the track to save herself, but the blondes did not fare as well. They were killed instantly when the train hit them. “42, 42, 42. 42, 42, 42,” she says to herself as she walks along a train track.

What is missing if you have a blonde and a brunette friends?
A readhead!

Recommended: Redhead Jokes

Did you hear about Jerry’s last girlfriend, the redhead?
She was a brunette until the house burned down.

How do you know a brunette is having her period?
She’s only wearing one sock.

​Why don’t brunettes make good cattle ranchers?
Because they are unable to keep their calves together.

Ten blondes and a brunette were hanging on a rope on the side of a cliff
However the rope cannot carry all eleven, so one person has to be sacrificed. The brunette volunteers to sacrifice herself and proceed to make a long touching speech.
After she finishes, all the blondes clap and let go of the rope.

Why did the brunette have a bruised button?
Because she had a blond boyfriend.

What makes a brunette different from a hockey player?
At least the hockey player takes a shower after three periods.

How do you get a brunette off your doorstep?
Pay for the pizza.

What do you call a brunette who broke up with her boyfriend?

Three blondes and a brunette walk into a bar.
The blonde girls explain to the bartender that they’ve never ordered a shot before, and ask what he recommends. He decides on something exciting for their time with hard liquor and pours them each a flaming shot.
He then turns to the brunette and asks what she’d like to drink.
“I’ll just have water, thanks.”
“You their driver?”
“No, I’m not even with them. I just want to be able to remember this.”

What’s the worst advice you could give a brunette?
“Be yourself.”

Why do brunettes like long skirts?
They hide the no-pest strips.

One day, two blondes and a brunette got stuck in an elevator.
One blonde starts to yell, “Help!!!”
Then the other one, “Help!!!”
The brunette suggests, “Come on girls, let’s scream together, it will be louder.”
“OK,” agree the blondes, “Together!!! Together!!!”

How do you break a brunette’s finger?
“Punch her in the nose.”

Why are there no brunette ballerinas?
When they do spilts, they stick to the floor.

A team of blondes and a team of brunettes competed to see who could capture the most fish while ice fishing.
When the tournament began, it was obvious that the brunettes would win since they kept hauling out fish after fish.
Soon after, the blondes became concerned and dispatched a member of their squad to investigate what the brunettes were doing differently.
The blonde returns a few minutes later.
“A hole! You need to make a hole in the ice!”

Recommended: Dark Jokes

Why did the brunette visit the pet cemetery?
To visit her childhood sweetheart.

Why did the brunette take a job at the loading dock?
She loved taking deliveries in the rear.

How long does a brunette cook her meat?
Until the tire marks go away.

Do you have a funny Brunette joke? Post your own Brunette puns in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

1 thought on “50 Funny Brunette Jokes That Will Have A Blonde in Stitches”

  1. Why did the brunette keep failing her driving test?
    Because every time the instructor asked her to stop, she replied, “What for?”


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