30 Funny Croissant Jokes And Puns That Will Make You Loaf So Hard

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Jessica Amlee

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Croissants are often the subject of jokes and puns because of their shape, which is similar to a crescent moon. Additionally, the French origin of the pastry and its association with high-end pastry shops and cafes may also be a factor. Jokes and puns about croissants often play on these characteristics and may be used to poke fun at French culture or the idea of high-end, fancy pastries.

A croissant is a buttery, flaky Austrian viennoiserie pastry shaped like a kipferl but made using French yeast-leavened laminated dough.

Best Croissant Jokes

What is the opposite of a croissant?
A happy uncle.

A blind man walks into a bakery.
He touches the salt croissant and says, “Which idiot wrote this bullshit on it!?”

What do you call a depressed pair of croissants?
Pain au pain.

What is the most delicious number in French? Cent? Deux cent? Trois cent?
C’est croissant.

What’s Austrian and took over France?

What happens if you mix a croissant and a sourdough?
A cross-bread.

Did you know that you can never trust a croissant to get things done?
They’re super flakey.

What do you call a croissant with no ass?
A flat bread.

A French guy started a charitable foundation that symbolizes the coexistence between faiths; combining “Red Cross” and “Red Crescent”. What did he call it?
Red Croissant.

How do French pastries walk?
They croissant-er.

Do you know that US websites use cookies to track you?
The British websites use biscuits.
While the French websites use croissants.

Why did the Croissants take the Donuts and Bagels to Disneyland?
They thought it would be fun for the hole family.

Recommended: Bagel Jokes

A Frenchman notices a sign in front of a bakery: €1 for a croissant, €5 for a handjob
He walks into the shop and notices a lovely young lady behind the desk. “Mademoiselle, are you the one who delivers the handjobs?” he asks.
“O-Oui monsieur, I am the one who gives the handjobs,” the shy girl says, looking down, blushing.
The Frenchman quickly places €5 on the counter and says, “In this case wash your hands well, because I want 5 croissants.”

What did the French parent tell his crying son?
Don’t croissant.

What did the pastry chef fix is an oven with?
A croissant wrench.

What did the french astrologer call the phase of the moon?
A Croissant Moon.

I just put my hair in a bun.
It wasn’t very nice, I think I’ll try it with a croissant next time.

Why was the croissant always warm?
He had many layers.

What’s a croissant’s favorite song?
Another One Bites the Crust.

When two croissants made at the same time fall in love, what do you call it?
A batch made in heaven.

What do you call your mother’s angry French sister?
Your croissant.

Why didn’t the cupcake talk to the croissant?
Because he had muffin to say.

Recommended: Cupcake Jokes

What do you call French macaroni?
Sbaguete and croissant.

Why do croissant jokes always crack you up?
Because they never get mold!

Two Croissants walking across Union Street
And one gets hit by a bus.
The other one says, “Oh Crumbs!”

Why didn’t the cupcake talk to the croissant?
Because he had muffin to say.

Why don’t croissants like warm weather?
Things get toasty.

What did the croissant say to the coffee in the morning?
“You’re just not my cup of tea.”

What did the bag of flour say to the croissant?
“I saw you yeasterday.”

What does the croissant say to the chicken?

Two croissants are in an oven.
One says, “Wow, it’s hot in here!” and the other croissant says, “Oh my gosh, a talking croissant!”

Have a better croissant joke? Post your own croissant puns in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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