60 Funny Dead Baby Jokes to Make You Laugh (or Cringe)

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Jessica Amlee

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Dead baby jokes are a type of dark humor that revolves around making light of the death of infants or young children. They are highly controversial and offensive to many people and are generally considered to be in poor taste. These jokes are often deliberately shocking and taboo, which can make them appealing to some people who enjoy the feeling of breaking social norms or boundaries.

While some people may find them amusing, it’s important to recognize that they can be hurtful and insensitive to those who have experienced the loss of a child or have a personal connection to such a tragedy.

Dark Dead Baby Jokes

What is the best thing about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.

How do you make a dead baby float?
Two scoops of ice-cream and one scoop of dead baby.

What’s red, white, and green and is spread all over the lawn?
Same baby, two months later.

Did you hear about the husband going to cover his bathroom floor with dead baby skin?
His wife told him that would be infant tile.

What is the difference between an art student and a dead baby?
The dead baby can feed a family of four.

Why are bad jokes like dead babies?
Usually, something went wrong with the delivery.

What do you call a dead baby who fights crime?
Miscarriage of Justice.

What’s worse than a plastic bag filled with dead babies?

What’s the difference between a truck load of babies and a truck load of bowling balls?
There’s only one you can unload with a pitchfork.

What do you call a stroller with a dead baby in it?
A miscarriage.

What’s easier than stealing candy from a baby?
Stealing candy from a dead baby.

A woman and her husband are in the maternity ward where the woman is giving birth.
As soon as the baby comes out the doctor grabs it and starts flailing it around beating it on the table and walls. 10 seconds later as a couple is freaking out he stops and says “Haha, Just kidding. It was already dead.”

What’s worse than a dead baby nailed to a tree?
A dead baby nailed to three trees.

Do you know that Dark Humour is like anti-vax families?
There’s usually a dead baby.

Recommended: Dark Humor Jokes

How is a dark sense of humor like a hospital?
Lots of sickness and occasionally dead babies.

What is more fun than throwing a baby of the cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.

How do you save a drowning baby?
Harpoon it.

How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles?
Nail its other hand to the floor.

What do you give a dead baby for Christmas?
A dead puppy.

How did the dead baby cross the road?
It was stapled to the chicken.

How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
Well, it’s not 7 because the basement is still dark.

What’s the hardest part about walking through a field of dead babies?
Your erection.

What is the difference between a dead baby and a bag of cocaine?
Eric Clapton would never let a bag of coke fall out of a window.

What’s the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup?
A dead baby doesn’t harm the atmosphere when you burn it.

What do you call a dead baby on the side of the road?
Cheaper than a prostitute.

Did you hear about the man whose family told him to stop saying dead baby jokes?
He had to Abort.

What’s blue, purple, and at the bottom of a pool?
A dead baby.

How many dead babies does it take to shingle a roof?
It depends on how thin you slice them.

How do you get 10 dead babies into a bucket?
How do you get them out again?
Tortilla chips. (if they are Mexican).

What’s funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume.

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub?
Depends on how strong your blender is.

What do you call a dead baby in a pool?

What do you get when you combine a priest and a dead baby?

Recommended: Abortion Jokes

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.

What’s the difference between a dead baby and suicide?
No one cares about the dead baby.

How do you get a baby into a blender?
How do you get it out of the blender?

What is the difference between a dead baby and a candy bar?
About 500 calories.

Who is the friendliest dead baby?

What do you call a dead baby on your doorstep?

What’s worse than driving over a baby?

What’s yellow, bubbly, and scratches on glass?
An Asi*n baby in the microwave.

Recommended: Asi*n Jokes

What’s the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
You should take your shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs hanging on your wall?

Why can’t you fool an aborted fetus?
Because he wasn’t born yesterday.

What is about 50cm long, blue, and gets every woman to tears?

Why are yo mama jokes little like child cancer?
It never gets old.

What’s black and charred?
A baby that took a bite out of an extension cord.

What scratches at the window before blowing up?
A baby in a microwave.

What’s the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is really fun to smash with a sledgehammer, and the other one is a watermelon.

How are babies and the elderly alike?
Both are fun to throw out of moving cars.

How do you make a baby cry?
Throw a brick at its face.

How do you spoil a baby?
Leave it out in the sun.

What’s brown and gurgles?
A baby in a casserole.

What’s white and red and hangs from a telephone wire?
A baby shot through a snow blower.

What do u call a dead baby in a pressure cooker?
A baby boomer.

What goes plop, plop, fizz, fizz?
Twins in an acid bath.

What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A baby in a trash compactor.

What’s worse than running a baby over with a car?
Getting it out of the tires.

What’s red and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion.

What’s bright blue, pink, and sizzles?
A baby trying to breast feed from an electrical outlet.

What’s the difference between an onion and a dead baby?
Cutting up onions makes you cry.

What gets shorter and shorter and redder and redder?
A baby combing its hair with a potato peeler.

Do you have a funny dead baby joke? Post your own dead baby puns in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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