People with strong legs, comrades who give big, warm hugs, buddies whose laughter bounces off their cheeks – that’s the fat people, the proudly full-figured, the cheerfully broad, breathing middle fingers to the BMI charts. They move with their own unique style, manage to fit into airplane seats (though it takes a bit of cleverness), and are the kind of people elastic waistbands were made for.
While body size can be influenced by numerous factors including genetics, metabolism, and lifestyle choices, it’s important to remember that every individual’s body is unique and deserving of respect. In recent years, there’s been a growing movement towards body positivity, emphasizing the importance of self-love and acceptance regardless of size or shape. Sure, they might be the butt of old TV show jokes, the ones in the “before” pictures, but you know what? Their falls are cushioned, and their hugs? They’re like getting wrapped in a big, cozy blanket. So, go ahead with the fat jokes about being a big presence, they’ll be laughing right with you.
Best Fat People Jokes
What kind of jokes doesn’t work out?
Fat people jokes.
A lot of people are pretty upset about “fat shaming” jokes these days!
Maybe they need to lighten up.
Patient: Hey Doc, any idea why I seem to be so attracted to fat girls?
Doctor: That’d be gravity, my boy.
Why did the bull get fat?
Because he ate too many cowleries.
Mark says to John, “Can you believe that an Arab millionaire saw my wife and told me that he would pay her weight in gold?”
John says, “I can’t believe it, and what did you say?”
Mark says, “I asked him if he could wait a month.”
John asks, “So you can think about it?”
Mark replies, “No, to make her fat.”
What do you call a group of fat babies ?
Heavy Infantry.
What do you call two fat people raising a child?
Unfit parents.
What do you a call a fat lady who can tell the temperature?
Yourmometer.
Yo mama so fat, it wasn’t the stork that brought her. It was the crane!
Why do vampires never get fat?
They eat necks to nothing.
What do you call a serial killer that only kills fat people?
A mass murderer.
The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
Customer: What do you have with no fat and no sugar?
Waitress: Napkins..
Did you hear about the business that offered balloon rides for fat people?
But it never got off the ground.
Yo mama so fat that when she slid into my DMs, my phone ran out of space.
What would they call the Witcher if he got fat?
Geralt the Wide Wolf.
What Ricky Gervais said after taking some digs at fat people at a show?
“I don’t want fat people to feel uncomfortable at my gigs. So next time, buy two seats!”
An obese man is standing naked in front of his doctor.
The doctor says, “I’m sure you are aware that you have a serious weight problem. The man says, “Doc, I know. I haven’t seen my d*ck in 3 years.” The doctor asks, “Then why don’t you diet?”
And the fat man says, “Why? What color is it now?”
Why did the internet browser get fat?
It accepted all cookies.
What’s the difference between a compulsive person and a fat person?
One has OCD and the other has OBCD.
Yo mama so fat, her car has stretch marks.
Why do you never see a fat ninja?
Because fat ninjas are the best ninjas.
A guy calls 911 and says, “Please, send the cops quickly, there are two women fighting over me!”
The male 911 operator says, “That sounds pretty good for you, why do you want the police to come?”
The caller says, “Because the fat one is winning!”
15th-century women weren’t fat.
They were Gothiccc.
Why is a woman’s recommended body fat percentage higher than a man’s?
Because she’s graded on a curve.
What do a fat person in America and a rich person in the UK have in common?
They have a lot of pounds.
In 1978, amateur astrophysicists Frederick Mercury and Brian May posited that the planet’s axial rotation was due to sizably-posteriored members of the female population. In 40 years, this theory has yet to be disproven or even refuted by the scientific community at large.
Thus it is a valid scientific theory that: 🎶”…fat bottomed girls, you make the rockin’ world go round’…”🎶
What do you call a fat guy that only does one-night stands?
Humpty Dumpty.
Yo mama so fat, her pronouns are Hershey.
Why is Cardi-B fat?
Because she doesn’t get enough Cardi-O.
What do you call a fat doll?
Barbiecue.
A fat man sees a sign on a door: lose 1 pound for $1.
He puts a dollar in the slot and enters. There is a jogging track with a beautiful naked woman wearing jogging shoes. “Better start running,” she says, beckoning him. Excited, he chases her around the track for an hour. Finally, he catches her, she… ahem… rewards him… then he steps on the scale. He lost 1 pound!
What is the name of a fat man from Ancient Greece?
Obesseus.
What do you call an American that joins the Hunger Games?
Fatness Everdeen.
Yo mama so fat when she’s walking down the street, cops driving by scream out, “Hey you two –break it up!”
Why don’t you see any fat plants?
They only eat light meals.
What do you call a fat motivational speaker?
A Sphere of Influence.
As he leaves he sees a new sign next door. “Lose 2 pounds for $2”. He pays and enters. This time there are two gorgeous naked women in running shoes. They say “Better start running.” He does, chasing them around the track. Two hours later he catches them. He is doubly… rewarded. On his way out the scale shows he lost 2 pounds!
The man leaves. Sure enough, next door there is a final sign: “Lose 3 pounds for $3.” By now the fat man is exhausted and can barely walk… but he cannot resist. He pays and enters. The door slams shut behind him and locks.
Alone on the running track is a 6’4″ muscular male bodybuilder, naked except for running shoes. The naked athlete points down at his enormous erection, smiles at the fat man, and says, “Better start running.”
Obese people must stay active and move in order to get in shape.
Round shape.
What type of body do fat people have?
The body of a god, too bad it’s Buddha.
Recommended: Funny Fat Puns
Yo mama so fat, I know six fat people and she’s 5 of them.
Why do fat Romans dress tight and slim Romans dress loose?
Because their L is bigger than their XL.
A girl takes her big fat cat to the vet.
“My cat is very fat,” she says.
“Alright,” says the vet. “I will look at him.”
The vet picks up the cat and examines its teeth. Then she looks at its eyes. Then into its ears. Finally, she turns to the girl and says, “I’m very sorry. I’m going to have to put your cat down.” “Oh no! Because he’s so fat?”
“Yes,” says the doctor. “My arms are very tired.”
What do you call an over weight prank phone caller?
A Big Fat Phoney.
Where do fat people keep their six-packs?
In the cooler (pot belly).
Yo mama so fat, that if she could communicate with the dead, she wouldn’t be called a medium, but an extra large.
Who started the Fat acceptance movement?
Surely, members of the wider community.
What is the most positive thing about being fat?
Harder to kidnap.
What did the fat girl say to the fat boy?
“Thanks for the tip.”
A very fat man walked into the doctor’s clinic.
He was told he needed to lose at least 7 stone.
“It’s no good,” the fat man lamented. “I’ve tried every diet imaginable, and they never work.”
“Well, this one’s different,” the doctor said. “You will not eat anything by mouth; everything you eat will pass through your rectum.”
After a month, the man returned to the doctor, appearing extremely pleased.
“Well done, you’ve lost nearly 4 stone; keep going and you’ll soon be at your ideal weight.” “Do you have any issues?”
“None at all,” the man replied. “I’ll catch up with you in a month.”
The doctor spotted the man walking in an unusual manner as he approached the door.
“Are you sure there’s nothing wrong?” the doctor inquired.
“You appear to be walking in an unusual manner.”
“No, everything is good, doc,” the man replied. “All I’m doing is chewing some bubble gum.”
Why shouldn’t you sugarcoat your words infront of fat people?
They would eat that too.
Recommended: Skinny Jokes
Yo mamas so fat, she starts the alphabet with O B C D.
What do you call an obese psychic?
A four chin teller.
What is the name of a fat bee?
Chub-bee.
What do you call an even fatter bee?
O-bees.
Did you hear the yo mama so fat joke from the Physics professor?
Yo mama is so fat you can see the objects that are directly behind her.
Santa: Doctor, I am too fat I even cannot walk properly.
Doctor: Did you control your diet as I told you to do?
Santa: Oh yes yes, doctor! I controlled my diet a lot!
Doctor: Okay.. then you should run. If you run 8kms a day for 300 days then you will definitely lose at least 34 kgs.
Santa: Oh! okay, okay doctor, I will do it.
*After 300 days, Santa called his doctor*
Santa: Oh hello doc. This is Santa here.
Doctor: Yes, yes Santa. How are you? how is your health? how is your weight? Is it in control now?
Santa: Yes doc, I have lost the weight but there is one slight problem..
Doctor: Problem? What problem?
Santa: I am 2,400 kilometers away from my home. How should I return now?
What do people do during the first few weeks of Weight Watchers?
Find their feet.
Why should we avoid cracking jokes on fat people?
Give them a break. They have enough on their plate already.
Why did the Indian guy not crack Yo Mama So Fat jokes?
Because cows are sacred in his country.
Recommended: Yo Mama So Fat Jokes
Yo mama so fat, when she takes a bath she doesn’t use any water and it still overflows.
What is the only French word fat Americans know?
Buffet.
How do you notice if your girlfriend is getting fat?
She starts to fit into your wife’s clothes.
How do fat people hide from exercise?
By joining a fitness protection program.
What could be worse than an eating disorder?
Being fat.
Why did the genie turn all the fat people skinny?
Mike Tyson wished to heal all the thick people in the world.
Yo mama so fat, I tried driving around her and ran out of gas.
Why do fat girls give the best head?
Because they are hungry.
How do you burn calories?
Set a fat man to fire.
How do fat people choose the right answer to a multiple-choice question?
They weigh their options.
What letters does a fat man like?
o-b-c-d.
Yo mama so fat when she eats Taco Bell, she gets the walks.
Why do fat people have short last names?
They usually eat their all other alphabets.
What happens when a fat guy swims past the buoys?
People think there is an island there.
Why should you ignore if someone calls you fat?
Since you are bigger than that.
Recommended: Helen Keller Jokes
What do fat people do when they get depressed?
They cut themselves… a cake.
What is the best way to look thin and slim?
By hanging out with fat folks.
Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again.
Husband: Wait dear.. Don’t do it for the sake of our kid!
Wife: Kid?
Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?
Why shouldn’t obese people feel bothered by fat jokes?
Because they are higher on the food chain.
Yo mama so fat, she can only play seek.
What are the chances of a fat girl getting accepted into a convent?
Slim to nun.
Why did the elevator have to go down?
Because a fat guy got in it.
Why did Jon Brower Minnoch always wear a helmet while eating?
Dude was on a crash diet.
Which movement is the only movement without movement?
Fat Acceptance.
Why do workaholics’ relationships seem to be like overweight people?
Both don’t work out.
What do you call a chubby British man?
A full English.
Recommended: Orphan Jokes
What do you call two fat people chit-chatting?
A heavy discussion.
Your mama so fat, on one edge of her passport photo, it says continued on the next page.
Why do fat people cry on purpose?
To taste their tears.
Why do fat people think obesity is not a problem?
Since heat makes things expand, they think they are just hot.
What does a box of chocolate have in common with life?
They don’t last long for fat folks.
Doctor: Obesity has only one treatment.
Indian man: Which is..?
Doctor: Every day, you eat one roti.
Indian man: Is it to be eaten after or before a roti?
Why fat jokes should not be appreciated?
It is inappropriate to make fun at someone else’s expanse.
Why is it that Japan has no overweight people?
The last time, they had it killed more than 80,000 people and injured another 35,000.
In a gym full of fat people, what do you call a man with normal abs?
Abnormal.
Which cookie do the fat people love?
Four chin cookies.
What is the greatest phobia of a fat ghost?
Being exercised.
Recommended: Yoga Memes
Which city do fat people go on vacations?
Obecity.
Where do overweight people live?
Greece.
What happens when winter fat is gone?
Then you have spring rolls.
What is a popular funny saying among fat women?
Once you go fat, you never go back.
Why are fat people not overweight but simply living on the wrong planet?
Because 120 kg on Earth is equal to 45 kg on Mars.
What is fun to ride until your friends see you?
Scooters and fat girls.
What does Santa do with fat elves?
He sends them to an elf farm.
Teacher: What does the chicken provide you with, kids?
Little Johnny: Eggs and meat.
Teacher: Okay! Next question.. what does the sheep provide you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: Right! Now, tell me what the pig gives you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Correct answer! And what does a fat cow provide?
Little Johnny: Homework.
After cracking a fat joke, what was the first thing a man asked his annoyed friend?
“Which one of your chins did I hurt?”
What do you call fat ginger?
Fed Sheeran!
Recommended: Ginger Jokes
Why do you think obesity does not run in a fat person’s family?
Well, no one runs in a fat person’s family.
Why are there so many fat programmers?
They often have a snack overflow.
Nutritionist: You should eat 1200 calories a day…
Fat guy: Okay and how many at night?
Three males, a Scot, an Englishman, and a sumo wrestler, planned to commit suicide by jumping off a building.
The Scot hopped off, exclaiming, “God save Scotland!
The Englishman jumped off the boat and yelled, “God Save England!”
The Sumo wrestler jumped off, exclaiming, “God save the guy I land on!”
What is the best comeback to fat jokes?
“The only reason I am fat is because everytime I sleep with yo mama, she makes me a sandwich.”
What did one DNA say to the other DNA?
“Do these genes make me look fat?”
What do you call it when a fat guy loses his patience?
Losing wait.
Why are fat people good at handling responsibilities?
Because they can’t run from it.
How do you find a fat girl’s snatch?
Flip through the folds until you smell shit then go back one.
Your mama so fat, her flesh-eating disease got diabetes.
Recommended: Diabetes Jokes
Why should comedians tread carefully while cracking fat jokes?
Because elephants do not forget.
What do you call the genocide of fat people?
The mass extinction.
What do turtles and lesbians who like fat women have in common?
They both have to hold their breath for a long time.
What do you call a fat N*zi?
A wide supremacist.
Why do people who get a sex change gain weight afterwards?
Trans fats.
How easy is it to seduce a fat person?
Piece of cake!
What do you call a bunch of sl*tty fat chicks?
Tons of fun.
How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
You put a nipple on it.
What do a fat girl and a pallet of shingles have in common?
They both have a 90% chance of being nailed by a Mexican.
What do you call 2 fat goths?
Morbidly obese.
Why do you not make fun of a fat girl with a lisp?
Because she is thick and tired of it.
Which of these fat jokes made you laugh the most? Please share your thoughts in the comments box below!
Why don’t I crack fat jokes?
Because they wouldn’t be appreciated by wider audience.
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it’s still printing.
Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, “We are family, even though you’re fatter than me.”
yo mama so fat, when she asked for a water bed they put a blanket over the Atlantic ocean
yo mama so fat flash got tired before he ran half way around her
What do you call a boy band for fat people?
Diabeatles.