Rain has a special talent for turning everyday life into a soggy adventure. It soaks clothes, splashes cars, and makes everyone question their shoe choices. That’s why Rain Jokes are so popular; they turn wet disasters into laughable moments, making gray skies feel a little lighter and far more entertaining.
Once, someone sprinted through a storm like they were dodging laser beams, only to land face-first in a puddle. The laughter that followed was louder than the thunder. That’s the magic of Rain Jokes, they don’t need sunshine to bring a smile, just a good splash and a sense of humor.
Jokes are bound to follow with so many people stranded in their homes without internet access. If these aren’t enough, you can move to Flood Jokes for more.
Best Rain Jokes
Why do cows lie down in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
When does it rain money?
When there’s a change in the weather.
What do you call a pile of coins in the rain?
Climate change.
What’s the difference between rain and a shower?
Consent.
What do you call a bear caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
Why don’t ghosts walk outside when it rains?
It dampens their spirits.
What do you call an owl’s kid in the rain?
A moist owlette.
How do you know rain doesn’t fall?
Because raindrops.
When it begins to rain, two blondes are leaving a bar. The first blonde realises she has left the keys in the car and attempts to pick the lock.
After a few minutes of attempting to open the door, the second blonde panics and exclaims, “Please hurry! It’s pouring cats and dogs outside, and the convertable top is down!”
Recommended: Rain Memes
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
Why do you hope that the rain keeps up?
That way it won’t keep coming down.
What should you do if you like Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain?
Getting drunk in the shower would save a lot of time.
Why is there nothing ironic about rain on your wedding day?
It’s normal for a couple to have a bridal shower.
How are rain and reign similar?
Before they end, both fall and cause a huge mess.
Everyone enjoys the smell of rain. So clean and fresh. However, you cannot smell rain. What you smell is the universe around you.
Humans used to have to hunt for their food back in the day. If you were tracking a deer and it began to rain, you could easily lose the scent. As a result, humans have evolved to smell better in the rain.
And that is why your farts smell worse in the shower.
How do you wash a waterproof rain jacket?
Dry clean it.
In Seattle, what do you call two consecutive days of rain?
The weekend.
How do witches fly when it rains?
With a mop.
Why do mother kangaroos hate the rain?
Because the kids have to play inside.
Recommended: Rainbow Jokes
A little town began to experience heavy rain. Residents were ordered to leave since it was suspected that the rain would not stop and that floods were imminent.
One man would not leave. As the rain began to fall heavily, a van drew up in front of the house, and emergency authorities advised the man to vacate. The man declined.
He declared, “God will save me.”
As water levels rose, the man was forced to flee to the second storey of his house. A boat approached his window, and emergency authorities once again advised him to escape. Once again, the man declined.
“God will save me,” he declared.
As the day turned to night, the water levels rose even higher. This time, the man sought safety on his roof. A helicopter would fly overhead, and rescue crews would drop a message urging the man to evacuate. Nonetheless, the man refused.
He claimed, “God will save me.”
Unfortunately, the man drowned in the water.
Man found himself in the afterlife passing through the gates of heaven and in the presence of God. The guy raised his eyes to God and inquired, “Why didn’t you save me, God? Was my faith insufficient?”
God lowered his gaze to the man and stated, “I provided a vehicle, a boat, and a helicopter to you. What else do you expect from me?”
Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window…
If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her in.
Man, it was really raining cats and dogs today.
Sure hope I don’t step into a poodle.
What does a ghost wear on a rainy day?
Booooooooooots.
Why are there no vampires in Africa?
Because they blessed the rains down in Africa.
A priest, a monk, and a rabbi were walking down the street.
All three men were carrying umbrellas. Suddenly, it started pouring rain. The priest and the monk opened their umbrellas to shield themselves from the rain. The rabbi kept his umbrella closed. The priest asked the rabbi, “Why don’t you open your umbrella?” The rabbi replied, “My umbrella is full of holes. It wouldn’t help.”
The monk asked the rabbi, “Why did you bring an umbrella that is full of holes?”
The rabbi replied, “I didn`t think it was going to rain today.”
Why does Snoop Dog wear a rain jacket?
Fo’ drizzle.
Why does it never rain on Christmas Day?
Because it would rain deer otherwise.
What’s the difference between Donald Trump and a worm?
One of them is a slimy, loathsome creature incapable of complex thought, the other one actually shows up when it rains.
What is the problem with turning on your headlights if it is raining in Sweden?
How is one supposed to know if it is raining in Sweden?
Sir Lancelot had fought a bitter battle all day, and didn’t want to quit when his horse was killed.
Despite the thunder, lightning, and the rain, he managed to stagger to a nearby farmhouse where he asked the farmer to lend him a horse so he could return to battle. “I’m afraid I don’t have any horses to spare, but I have a large St. Bernard dog you could use.”
Sir Lancelot took one look at the huge, shaggy dog and then at the dark and stormy sky. “Surely,” he said, “you wouldn’t send a knight out on a dog like this.”
How can one’s life completely change after learning morse code?
One cannot fall asleep because the rain kept telling “to go f*ck yourself.”
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
What happened when a new stand-up comedian entered the pun competition?
It beat the raining champion.
Recommended: Short People Jokes
What’s the worst part about being short?
You’re the last one to know when it rains.
The elders of a village in Chechnya come to a mullah.
“Honored mullah,” the elders say, “we have no rain. The wells are drying up. The creeks are drying up. What should we do?”
The mullah thinks and replies, “Very well. Read the Quran out loud five times and sacrifice a black sheep.”
Two weeks later, the elders return.
“Honored mullah,” they say, “it didn’t help. The wells are dry. The creeks are dry. No rain. What should we do?”
The mullah thinks again and says, “Very well. Read the Quran out loud ten times and sacrifice a white sheep.”
Two more weeks pass, and the elders come again.
“Honored mullah,” they plead, “that didn’t help either. The village to the north has plenty of rain. The village to the south got a deluge. We don’t have a droplet of water. The children are crying. What can we do?”
The mullah replies, “Well, next time, sacrifice your own sheep!”
What do call it when you store data in the cloud and it rains?
A data leak.
Why don’t owls date in the rain?
Because it’s too wet to woo.
When can 3 elephants stand under 1 umbrella and not get wet?
When it’s not raining.
Did you hear about the cloud who became king?
It rained for years.
A husband and wife were talking about water shortage.
The wife said, “ Why don’t we dig a hole outside to collect rainwater?”
The husband replied, “I think you mean well.”
Recommended: Storm Jokes
Why do sailors eat shellfish when rain is forecasted?
It’s the clam before the storm.
In a public restroom, there was a father and his little son using the urinal.
After the father did his business, he let out a loud fart.
His son was taken aback and questioned, “What was that?!’, to which his father replied smugly, “Can’t have rain without thunder!”
How do meteorologists get paid?
Rain checks.
What kind of snakes do Germans love in the rain?
Vindshield Vipers.
In which country does it rain sheep?
Bahrain.
What happens when two rain drops fall in love?
They become rain-beaus.
The animals in the zoo were talking amongst themselves about the recent drought.
The cows said they hoped it would rain soon as the fields they grazed in were dry and turning brown.
The giraffes said they hoped it rained soon as the leaves on the tops of the trees were sparse.
The monkeys hoped it would rain because the branches of the trees were dry and snapping, making it hard for them to swing around.
The kangaroo said she hoped it wouldn’t rain.
When the other animals pressed her as to why not, she replied “because then my kids will be inside all weekend!”
Why didn’t the light rain hit the target?
It just mist.
What storm has orange rain?
Tropic Anna.
What do you call someone driven mad by rain?
Derainged.
Did you hear about the computer that set fire to the rain?
Heard it was A Dell.
When is the Sandman not the Sandman?
When it rains real hard then his name is Mud.
What do you call a Wednesday with no rain?
A dry hump day!
Recommended: Hump Day Jokes
A couple is walking in St. Petersburg Square on Christmas Eve. They feel slight precipitation. “I think it’s raining,” says the man.
“No, it’s snowing,” replies the woman.
“How about we ask this Communist officer here? He is always right!” exclaims the man.
“Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing?”
“Definitely raining,” officer Rudolph replies before walking off.
The man turns to his wife with a smile. “See? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?
“Well, I guess we’ll just have to make dew!”
Why did the rain boots run away and change their identities?
Because they’re in wetness protection.
What happened when the hydrogen couple went out to get some air?
It rained.
What’s big, gray, and keeps rain off you?
An umbrellaphant.
What can you say about a strange disease due to which one cannot experience pain unless it is raining?
You could say it felt a bit under the weather.
Did you hear about the explosion at the Nissan factory?
It was raining Datsun cogs.
A man is driving in the rain at night.
The car then abruptly stopped working. The man becomes concerned as he notices something emerging from the woods next to the highway.
He then hears a knock on the door. There is a German shepherd dog.
“Open the hood,” the dog says. The man remains motionless.
“Open the hood,” the dog says again. The man pulls it open.
The dog begins working on the engine and then says, “Start the car.” The man makes an attempt, but nothing happens.
The dog works on the engine once more before asking the man to start the car, which starts right away.
The dog simply walked out and into the trees alongside the road.
Baffled, the man begins driving and stops at a gas station a few miles away, telling the clerk, “Man, you’re not going to believe this, but I have to tell you.”
“I was driving when my car broke down, and a huge German shepherd came over and mended it.”
“Man, you have no idea how lucky you are,” the attendant continues, making a terrifying look.
“Why?” inquires the man.
“That dog is a tire repairman, not a car mechanic.”
What does it mean if the weatherman says “it’s a 50% chance of rain?”
It means it has no idea if it’s going to rain or not.
Recommended: Adult Rain Jokes
How does water greet royalty?
It rain bows.
What did the rain say when it was too cold?
“What the hail!”
Why do the Turks love rain and cold?
Because they’re from Autmn empire.
How many canopies are needed to shelter a Jedi from the rain?
Only one canopy.
If it weren’t for AI, we wouldn’t even have rain.
It would just be a nurse.
Three ants seek refuge from the rain in someone’s bathroom.
“I’m going to sleep in the sink,” says the first ant. “I’ll sleep in the tub,” says the second ant. “I’ll get the finest sleep of all and sleep in the toilet!” declares the third ant.
The three ants rise the next morning. “I slept great last night!” exclaims the first ant. “I also had a nice sleep!” says the second ant.
The third ant says,“ I hardly slept at all! It rained, thundered, and a log fell on my head!”
What do you call a cow riding a motorcycle in the rain?
Cow-is-soggy.
Recommended: Hurricane Jokes
When will the rain stop falling?
When it hits the ground.
What do bugs who live near a recycling facility use to take shelter from the rain?
Can o’ peas.
What does an artist do when it’s raining outside?
It draws the curtains closed.
Did you know rain helped settle North America?
Rain brings April showers. April showers bring May flowers. The mayflower brings the pilgrims.
Why didn’t the rain clouds show up for the marching band?
They didn’t want to rain on their parade.
How do you communicate with a blind person in the rain?
You use an um-Braille.
Recommended: Blind Jokes
Outside O’Connor’s Irish Pub, it was pouring. An old Irishman stood in front of a large puddle outside the pub, soaked and carrying a stick with a bit of string dangling in the water. A bystander approached him and inquired, “What exactly are you doing? “Fishing,” said the old man. “Come in out of the rain and have a drink with me,” the man adds, feeling sorry for the elderly man.
As they sip their whiskey in the pleasant ambience of the pub, the guy, being a bit of a superior smart a**, cannot help but remark, “So, how many did you catch today?”
“You’re the eighth,” said the old man.
What falls, but never needs a bandage?
The rain.
Why does the bartender only go to the bar during storms?
When it rains it pours.
What happens when a Buddhist dies of a car crash in the rain?
Rain car nation.
What do Spaniards say when they want brown rain to fall from the sky?
Mo-rain-o.
What do you call Washington State after a long rain storm?
Washed a Ton State.
What do you call a Mexican witch caught in the rain?
A Meximelt.
The weather forecast for today is overcast with a 100% chance of rain puns. While you are not here for the rain, but definitely here for the above jokes. Hope you liked them.
