50 Funny Titanic Jokes That Will Surely Not Sink In

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Jessica Amlee


The Titanic, arguably the most famous ship to ever set sail, promised luxury and opulence for its time. The “unsinkable” vessel, boasting some of the most elegant staterooms and amenities of the 20th century, embarked on its maiden voyage in 1912 only to meet a tragic end after hitting an iceberg. The ship’s unfortunate sinking has since been the stuff of legend, leading to movies, books, and, rather interestingly, expeditions to its final resting place deep beneath the waves. Dive expeditions later used submarines to explore the watery grave, revealing eerie images of the colossal ship’s wreckage, now forever frozen in time.

The irony and unexpectedness of such a grand ship meeting such a fate, as grim as it is, led to the birth of Titanic jokes. It’s human nature, after all, to cope with the tragic through humor, finding light in the darkest of tales. These jokes offer a lighthearted take on a significant historical event, whether they poke fun at the ship’s luxurious amenities, its ill-fated journey, or the iceberg itself. So, while the Titanic may have hit rock bottom (literally), the humor surrounding it continues to float, proving that even in tragedy, there’s room for a chuckle or two.

Best Titanic Jokes

Did you hear about Grandpa who warned people that the Titanic would sink?
No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the movie theatre.

It was sad that all the people were making jokes about the missing Titanic sub
Some people will sink to any depths for a cheap thrill.

What do Titanic and Avatar have in common?
Both films end up with the hero turning blue.

Submarine ride to visit the wreck of the Titanic, $250,000.
Permanently join the wreck of the Titanic, priceless!

Does anyone know what the movies Titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common?
Icy dead people.

What’s the difference between your ex and the Titanic?
The Titanic only went down on 1,000 people.

What’s a horrible icebreaker?
The titanic.

If the Titan is used to explore the wreck of the Titanic, what explores the wreck of the Titan?
The Tit.

What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic?
About half way.

A Canadian asks an American to watch a movie together.
American: Have you seen the Titanic?
Canadian: What’s that about?
American: Yes it was. A huge one that sank

Life is all about perspective,
The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship’s kitchen.

A man is standing on the bow of the Titanic as it is sinking, holding a glass of whiskey.
He says, “I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous!”

Now that the movie Titanic is 25 years old,
Leo has completely lost interest in it.

Did you hear about the OceanGate company that lost the Titan sub?
Apparently, their business is going under.

What if Trump were captain of the RMs Titanic?
There isn’t any iceberg.
There was an iceberg but it’s in a totally different ocean.
The iceberg is in this ocean but it will melt very soon.
There is an iceberg but we didn’t hit the iceberg.
We hit the iceberg, but the damage will be repaired very shortly.
The iceberg is a Chinese iceberg.
We are taking on water but every passenger who wants a lifeboat can get a lifeboat, and they are beautiful lifeboats. Look, passengers need to ask nicely for the lifeboats if they want them.
We don’t have any lifeboats, we’re not lifeboat distributors.
Passengers should have planned for icebergs and brought their own lifeboats.
I really don’t think we need that many lifeboats.
We have lifeboats and they’re supposed to be our lifeboats, not the passengers’ lifeboats.
The lifeboats were left on shore by the last captain of this ship.
Nobody could have foreseen the iceberg.

The Titanic really was a ship of dreams,
And its dream was to be a submarine.

A company made toy Titanic, but they weren’t meant to be used in bathtubs.
They were made for the sink.

Why are there no subtitles for the last 15 minutes of “Titanic”?
A good caption always goes down with the ship.

Why did they pick that specific joystick for Titan?
Because it’s sub standard.

Bill Gates dies and goes to heaven,
where Saint Peter gives him a nice, modern six-bedroom house with a pretty garden and a tennis court. Pleased with his lot, Bill quickly settles into the afterlife.
One day he is out walking when he bumps into a man wearing a fine-tailored suit.
“That’s really nice,” says Bill. “Where did you get it?”
“Actually,” says the man, “I was given 50 of these, plus two mansions, a yacht, a golf course, and four Rolls-Royces.”
“Wow, were you a pope or a doctor healing the terminally ill?” asks Bill.
“No, I was the captain of the Titanic.”
Bill storms off to see Saint Peter. “How come the captain of a sunken ship gets all that while I, the inventor of the Windows Operating System gets a crummy little house?” he asks.
Saint Peter replies, “The Titanic only crashed once.”

A diving crew recently visited the Titanic with a robot submarine. What they found out was completely amazing.
Even after 100 years of being sunk, all the pools are still full.

How many people died on the Titanic?
A boatload.

Why should one not talk about Titanic with a stranger?
Because it can’t break the ice.

Did you know who was captaining the Oceangate Titan sub?
Captain Crunch.

A Chinese guy and a Jewish guy are drinking at the bar.
The Jewish guy turns to the Chinese guy and says, “Fu*k you and your people, for bombing Pearl Harbor!” The Chinese guy is like, “WTF?! That wasn’t us. That was the Japanese!” The Jewish guy says, “Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese… you’re all the same.” After a few minutes and another beer, the Chinese guy turns to the Jewish guy and says, “Fu*k you and your people for sinking the Titanic!”
The Jewish guy says, “Huh? They ran into an iceberg…”
The Chinese guy answers, “Iceberg, Goldberg, Steinburg, you’re all the same.”

Have you watched the documentary on how they built the hull of the Titanic?
It was riveting.

They say Titanic was shot in a swimming pool.
So was The Great Gatsby.

What type of salad did they serve on the Titanic?
Iceberg lettuce.

Why was there money left behind on the deck of the Titanic after its fateful collision?
It was the tip of the iceberg.

An elementary teacher, middle manager, and lawyer die and go to heaven.
St. Peter meets them at the pearly gates and explains that to get in they each have to answer one question correctly.
The teacher goes first. St. Peter says “What was the name of the famous ship that sank after striking an iceberg in 1912?”
“The Titanic!”
“Right, off you go.” The teacher runs through the gates and the middle manager goes up next. St. Peter asks, “How many people were on board?”
“Oh! I know that one! 2,208 on board and 712 survived!”
“Right, off you go.” The middle manager runs through the gates. St. Peter takes a look at the lawyer and goes, “Name them.”

What hairstyle did Jack from Titanic have?
Frosted Tips.

What do the ghosts of the Titanic eat?
Meatball sub.

What zodiac sign didn’t survive the Titanic sinking?

Most people don’t know that back in 1912, Kraft mayo was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.
This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.
The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day.
The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.

Recommended: Sinko De Mayo Jokes

Why did the duck never ride in the submersible to see the Titanic?
It would quack under pressure.

What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?
“I nominate all of your passengers for the ice bucket challenge.”

Do you know why Rose did not let Jack on the door in Titanic?
It was a piece of ship!

A man went into the local library and asked if they had any books on the Titanic.
“Oh yes, quite a few,” the librarian said.
“Sorry to hear that!” I said laughing. “They’ll all be ruined by now!”

What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?

Why the Titanic is such a bad wingman?
It can’t keep up after breaking the ice.

Who is the biggest bed wetter ever?
Captain of the Titanic.

What’s the best part of being a lesbian in 1912?
Both got seats on the Titanic’s lifeboats.

A doctor, a lawyer, and a priest are on the Titanic.
As it’s going down the doctor shouts, “We need to get the children to the lifeboats!”
The lawyer, thinking more for his own hide shouts, “No! F*ck the kids!”
The priest says, “Guys we don’t have time for both!”

Recommended: Cold Jokes

On that fateful day, what did the captain of the Titan submersible say to his wife before he left the house?
“You feed the dogs. I’ll feed the fish.”

Could you imagine the Titanic with a lisp?
It’s unthinkable.

What do you call a sudden implosion of a submarine?
A Titan-hiccup.

What do you get when you cross the Titanic with many penises?
Don’t know, but it sure involves a lot of s*men.

Do you have a funny Titanic joke? Write down your own Titanic puns in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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