55 Funny Bill Cosby Jokes to Keep You Laughing in Sleep

Updated on:

Jessica Amlee


Bill Cosby, once revered as a beloved actor and comedian, became a controversial figure due to numerous allegations of sexual assault. His conviction in 2018 solidified his fall from grace, turning him from a symbol of family-friendly humor into a symbol of betrayal and misconduct. The comedian confirmed his plan to tour again in 2023 but things still look tough after being released from prison in 2021. Till then, you can enjoy our list of Bill Cosby jokes.

Dark jokes about Cosby have emerged in response to these unsettling revelations. Humor, for many, can serve as a coping mechanism, allowing individuals to process complex emotions about troubling subjects. In this case, the jokes may highlight the incongruity between the comedian’s public persona and his criminal behavior. While some may find these Bill Cosby jokes cathartic, they are undoubtedly polarizing, reflecting the complexities of society’s reaction to a fallen icon.

Best Bill Cosby Jokes

Cardi B and Bill Cosby walk into a bar.
No one remembers the rest.

How did Bill Cosby celebrate after getting out of jail?
He went to a bar and bought everyone drinks.

What’s Bill Cosby’s favorite rom-com?
While You Were Sleeping.

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Bill Cosby.
(Bill Cosby who?)
Ahhh never mind, I’ll comeback when you’re sleeping.

How is Santa Claus like Bill Cosby?
Neither will come if you’re awake.

Yo mama so ugly, Bill Cosby gave her coffee.

What’s the difference between Bill Cosby and a small fencing sword?
One’s a little rapier.

Did you hear about the teenage girl who started reading Bill Cosby’s biography?
It put her to sleep.

Want to hear a Cosby joke?
Wait… we told it wrong. We weren’t supposed to ask for consent.

What kind of doctor was Dr. Huxtable on the Cosby Show?

What’s the difference between Bill Cosby and Harry Houdini?
Harry Houdini was a 100% verified serial escapist.

What’s the difference between Bill Cosby and a rap artist?

How does a girl greet Bill Cosby on their 2nd date?
“Nice to meet you!”

What’s the game show with Bill Cosby as the host?
It’s called ‘You Snooze, You Lose.’

A new study has shown that women who get more sleep have better sex.
Unfortunately, the study was conducted by Bill Cosby.

What does Bill Cosby do when he can’t sleep at night?
He finishes her drink.

Little Johnny goes to school and after only 15 minutes, the teacher tells them that whoever can identify the speaker one of three quotes can go home. Johnny couldn’t believe it, he was smart enough, he could go home after only 15 minutes of school!
So the teacher says, “I’ll start out with an easy one. Who said ‘I have a dream?'”
Before Johnny could even blink, Little Sally throws her hand in the air and says, “Martin Luther King Jr.” The teacher congratulates her and lets her leave.
“Ok, I’ll get the next one. I’m determined.” thinks Johnny.
“Next one. Who said ‘You must be the change you wish to see in the world?”
Before Johnny’s arm can move, Little Annie raised her hand and says, “Ghandi!” The teacher congratulates her and lets her leave.
Now Johnny is mad. “I have to get this next one!”
The teacher says, “Ok, last one. Who said ‘Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.”
Little Johnny throws his hand up, but Little Suzy is called on for being just barely faster. She answers, “Albert Einstein.” The teacher congratulates her and lets her leave.
Just then, someone from the last bench furiously shouts, “Those bitches need to shut their mouths!” The teacher whirls around and asks, “Who said that?!?”
Little Johnny shouts, “Bill Cosby! Can I go home now?”

Everyone knows Bill Cosby was a great comedian.
Even his drinks tasted funny.

Yo mama is so ugly, if Bill Cosby found her unconscious he’d call the paramedics.

Bill Cosby walks out of prison and gets on a bus, and rides it to a long rock wall. Next to a big oak, he finds a letter.
He follows it to Mexico, where he finds Jeffrey Epstein working on his boat.

How Election Day is like a dinner date with Bill Cosby?
When you wake up, you just know something bad happened.

Why does Bill Cosby like fliers?
Because their passed out.

What’s Bill Cosby’s favorite Disney character?
Sleeping beauty.

What do you call movie night at Bill Cosby’s house?
Netflix and pill.

Why is Bill Cosby like the ‘The Wizard of Oz’?
Cosby Cosby Cosby Cosby cos, because of the wonderful things he drugs.

Recommended: Jeffrey Epstein Jokes

What do Bill Cosby and a dentist have in common?
They knock you out before they drill your cavity.

After several brutal years in prison, Bill Cosby is approached by a prison guard who presents him with what seems like a great opportunity.
“Bill,” he says, “you’ve demonstrated good behavior in here for the past couple years despite all the harassment from the other inmates. I know it must not be easy, so today we’re going to give you a shot to get out in the sunshine and do some honest work.”
“No thank you,” says Bill, returning to the Sudoku he is filling out with a crayon. “All the other inmates have been gossiping about your little job all day, and I want nothing to do with it.”
Confused, the guard persists, “Bill, seriously man. We need to do some maintenance on the roof, and the warden told me to select a small work complement of our most exemplary inmates to do the job. I’ve literally only seen this happen in the movies. Don’t tell me you’re passing up on the chance to get out of this hell hole and feel the sunshine on your face.”
Unimpressed, Bill simply replies, “I’ll pass.”
At this point, the guard is completely bewildered. He gets right up in Bill’s face and says, “Hey, man, what’s wrong with you? Any other guy in here would kill to have a shot at an easy work complement like this!”
Annoyed, Bill calmly sets aside his crayon and his sudoku, takes off his glasses, looks the guard in the eye, and replies, “Haven’t you read my file? Roofies are what got me in here in the first place.”

A lot of comedians these days have a major issue with ‘woke’ people.
For instance, Bill Cosby.

What do Sigmund Freud and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both explored the unconscious.

How does Bill Cosby greet his date?
“Good night.”

What do Winds of Winter, Elder Scrolls 6, and Starfield all have in common?
Bill Cosby was released before they were.

What do Bill Cosby and a burglar have in common?
They both wait until you’re asleep, then come in the backdoor.

Your mama so ugly, when she met Bill Cosby, he made her espresso.

Recommended: MJ Jokes

Why are some people suggesting that Bill Cosby should have his honourary doctorate taken away?
The man successfully anesthetized over 50 women, countless times. If anything he has done more to earn the title ”doctor” than ever before.

Who is the odd one out between Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, Bill Cosby, and the tooth fairy?
The Easter bunny, the rest only come when you are sleeping.

Snow White gets into a hot tub and starts feeling a little happy.
Happy gets out and she starts feeling a little grumpy.
Grumpy gets out and Bill Cosby gets in and she starts feeling a little sleepy.

Did you hear that Bill Cosby is publishing a memoir?
It’s titled ‘the Coma Sutra.’

What’s the difference between Frankenstein and The Cosby Show?
On the Cosby Show, he was both the doctor and the monster.

What is the similarity between Bill Cosby and a surgeon?
They both want the person that they are inside to be unconscious.

Do you know that Bill Cosby likes his women like he likes his town cars?
Blacked out.

Why is Bill Cosby so good at Fantasy drafts?
He always nails the sleepers.

Recommended: Dark Humor Jokes

What is Bill Cosby’s favorite type of grenade?
A Flash Bang.

Who is the only person able to knock out Ronda Rousey?
Bill Cosby.

Yo mama so ugly, Bill Cosby just gave her a glass of water.

What kind of car does Bill Cosby drive?
A Honda quaalude.

Why does Thanksgiving feel like a date with Bill Cosby?
You wake up 3 hours later drowsy and wondering why you feel like you just got stuffed with dark meat.

What does Bill Cosby have in common with a Pokemon trainer?
He makes sure his catch is weak before he throws his balls at them.

What is Bill Cosby’s favorite type of pudding?
Pudding his cream filling where it doesn’t belong.

So Bill Cosby gets off.
This time without barbiturates.

What is Bill Cosby’s favorite fruit?
Stoned dates.

Recommended: Pedo Jokes

Why does Bill Cosby cry during sex?
Pepper spray.

Yo mama so ugly, Bill Cosby needed to drug himself to f*ck her.

Did you hear that Bill Cosby made a sex tape?
Twice as strong as duct tape.

What’s Bill Cosby’s favorite sex position?
The recovery position.

What does Bill Cosby’s penis look like?

Do you have a funny Bill Cosby joke? Write down your own Bill Cosby puns in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

3 thoughts on “55 Funny Bill Cosby Jokes to Keep You Laughing in Sleep”

Leave a Comment