Easter is a time for joy, celebration, and the coming of spring, but it’s also an occasion for some to share a chuckle over risqué jokes that toe the line between good-natured humor and outright naughtiness. In today’s blog post, we’re delving into the world of dirty Easter jokes, where bunnies, eggs, and chocolate take on a whole new meaning.
From playful bunny puns to egg-stra saucy one-liners, these dark Easter jokes are guaranteed to make you blush and laugh at the same time. So, gather your friends who appreciate a little edgy humor and get ready to share some mischievous laughter this Easter season. Please note that this content is intended for adults only and may not be suitable for all audiences.
Dark Easter Jokes
What is the most surprising part about Easter history?
That a man in his 30s would have 12 friends.
Do you know why does Mrs. Bunny like Mr. Bunny?
Because he always Easter out.
Inda spirit of Easter, let’s do what bunnies do.
What’s a drug addict’s favorite holiday?
Easter, because there’s plenty of eggs-to-see.
Why did the rooster kick the shit out of the peacock on Easter morning?
Because he saw all these multicolored eggs all over the barnyard.
Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for Alzheimer’s patients?
They hid their own eggs!
What do you call a bunny with a crooked dick?
Why was the Easter Bunny arrested?
He was charged with Hare-assment!
Any flirty pick up line for Easter?
“Hi, I’m the Easter Bunny and I don’t care if you are naughty or nice!”
Honey, let’s have an egg-citing date this Easter!
To the boiling water, what did the Easter egg say?
“It’ll take some time to get me hard. I just got laid by a chick.”
Why wouldn’t you want to be an Easter egg?
You only get laid once.
Where do Muslim rabbits come from?
What comes out of the mating of a donkey and a bunny?
The bunny’s eyes.
Bunny chance you’d like to hop along with me to an Easter party?
Why was Easter canceled?
They found the body.
How do you make a blonde laugh at Easter?
Tell her a joke at Christmas.
Recommended: Clean Easter Jokes
Son: Hey Dad, why is my sister called Teresa?
Dad: Because your mum loves easter and it’s an anagram of easter!
Son: Thanks, Dad!
Dad: No problem Alan.
What’s the Easter Bunny’s favorite drink?
After dealing with those youngsters all day, a double IPA with a high alcohol level allows him to get drunk quickly. Oh, and the fact that it’s extra hoppy is simply icing on the cake!
What is an Easter bunny’s drug of choice?
The fluffy little bunny was lost.
He cried and cried and all the other woodland creatures wanted to help, but just didn’t know how. Finally, the wise old badger said, “Bunny, tell us how you recognize your home.”
The fluffy bunny thought about it and said, “My burrow is in a field with a donkey.”
The badger replied, “Oh, so you know your hole from an ass on the grounds.”
Priest: Who knows what resurrection is?
Young Girl: Well, father, I know you have to call your doctor if it doesn’t go away in four hours!
What’s the difference between an Easter egg and a corpse?
One is laid to rest in a casket, while the other is carried in a basket.
Carrot all about spending some egg-stra special time with you this Easter!
What is the preferred hobby of a group of gay bunnies?
Recommended: Dirty Easter Memes
What’s the difference between a male and female Easter bunny made of chocolate?
About a quarter-inch of chocolate.
When Jesus gets a hard-on, what do you call it?
Wife: What are our plans for Easter?
Husband: I’ll be like Jesus. Disappear on Friday and return on Sunday.
Wife: That’s Awesome. I’ll be like Mary.
Husband: What do you mean?
Wife: I’ll show up pregnant and untouched by my husband.
Why doesn’t the Easter Bunny make noise when he has sex?
Because he has cotton balls!
A guy bunny meets a lady bunny and says…
“Don’t worry, this won’t take long, did it?”
Even after the third time, I rise again.
Why does the Easter bunny hide his eggs?
Because he didn’t want everyone to find out he was fcuking the chicken.
How do cults get started?
Have a sermon infront of 50,000 people on Easter Sunday.
On Easter Sunday, a man goes to church and returns home with two black eyes.
His wife inquires as to how he got the black eyes.
The man goes on to say, “As old Mrs. Johnson stood up in front of me during mass, I saw her dress was stuck in the butt crack, so I reached out and gently tugged it out. She whirled around, became enraged, and punched me in the eye.”
“That explains one black eye,” the wife says, “but what about the other?”
The man explains, “I figured she must have liked her dress stuck up in her butt crack, so when she turned around I stuffed it back up there for her.”
Do you know that pets are not just for Christmas?
They taste good at Easter too.
Recommended: Dirty Christmas Jokes
What do you get with 3 nails, a jew, and 2 boards?
Why don’t you come over and try my hot cross buns?!
What do you call this (visualize a man standing with arms stretched horizontally and head hanging)?
A shit way to spend Easter.
A man chose to abstain from sex for Lent as the ultimate test of his willpower.
Despite his wife’s displeasure, he consented to back him in this endeavor. The first few weeks were rather easy. As the going grew tougher over the next few weeks, the wife wore her dowdiest nightgown and nibbled on garlic before going to bed. The last few weeks had been exceedingly difficult for the husband, so the wife started to close the bedroom door and force him to sleep on the couch. Easter morning arrived. The wife’s bedroom door was knocked on.
“KNOCK!!! KNOCK!!! KNOCK!!!”
The husband says, “Guess who?”
The wife replies, “I know who it is!”
The husband asks, “Guess what I want?”
The wife replies, “I know what you want!”
Again the husband asks, “Guess what I’m knockin’ with?”
What do you call a rabbit with a nasty vagina?
The yeaster bunny.
What do necrophilia and the Resurrection have in common?
They both involve the rising of the dead.
There are 4 people in a room with a bag of one million dollars.
A rich white guy, a rich black guy, Santa Claus, and the Easter bunny. They turn off the lights. Who gets the money?
The rich white guy. The other three don’t exist.
What’s the difference between Jesus and Vision?
Vision simply died again after resurrection rather than brainwashing a whole community into shit.
Recommended: Good Friday Jokes
How do you know Jesus really likes Easter?
He had a huge resurrection.
Jesus died for our sins so we’re pretty much obligated to hook up.
What’s a Jewish person’s favorite pet?
A dust bunny.
Little Johnny’s father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees.
“I don’t want to know!” Little Johnny says, bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asks what’s wrong.
“Oh, Dad,” Little Johnny sobs, “first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. If you’re about to tell me that grownups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to believe in.”
What do you get when you cross a kitty cat with a bunny rabbit?
A p#ssy hare.
What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Rottweiler?
Just the Rottweiler.
Do you have another cheeky Easter joke? Post your own dirty Easter puns in the comment section below.
On Easter, I rather fall in chocolate eggs than in love.