60 Funny Erectile Dysfunction Jokes for Laughing Issues

Updated on:

Jessica Amlee


Erectile dysfunction (ED) is a common condition, particularly in men over 40, where achieving or maintaining an adequate erection for sexual activity becomes a challenge. It’s a topic often met with a mix of concern and embarrassment, despite being a natural part of many men’s health journey. ED can be influenced by various factors, including physical health, psychological conditions, and lifestyle choices. It’s not just a punchline; for many, it’s a real and sensitive issue. This condition, while serious, has gradually become less taboo, allowing for more open discussion and understanding, as well as a few laughs to lighten the atmosphere.

Jokes about erectile dysfunction tread a fine line between humor and sensitivity. They often come into play as a light-hearted way to break the ice on a topic that can be uncomfortable to discuss. These jokes aren’t about making light of someone’s experience but about normalizing and destigmatizing a condition that’s quite common. Humor, when used thoughtfully, can be a powerful tool in transforming something that’s often shrouded in secrecy into a more approachable topic. Like any good joke, the key is in the delivery and the intention behind it – to share a laugh, not at someone’s expense, but as a way to say, “It’s okay, you’re not alone in this.”

Best Erectile Dysfunction Jokes

Did you hear about Bill Gates and Elon Musk teaming up and making medicine to treat erectile dysfunction?
It’s called ElonGates.

Did you hear about the man who opened a bar for men with erectile dysfunction?
It was a total flop. Nobody came!

What do you call a gamer with erectile dysfunction?

What do you call a rooster with erectile dysfunction?
Boneless chicken.

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Erectile Dysfunction.
(Erectile Dysfunction who?)
Well, this is a bit of a let down, isn’t it?

What’s it called when a chameleon can’t change its colors anymore?
A reptile dysfunction.

Why is living with erectile dysfunction has to be a real struggle?
It’s tough to beat.

Can you believe that so many people don’t understand erectile dysfunction?
It’s not hard.

Recommended: Viagra Jokes

Why was the healthcare worker quitting his job at the erectile dysfunction clinic?
He hasn’t gotten a raise in years.

Did you hear about the guy with erectile dysfunction who was aroused by tastes and smells?
It took a while, but he finally came to his senses.

What does a presidential candidate who can’t get his votes up suffer from?
Electile dysfunction.

Did you hear about the new medicine for erectile dysfunction?
It’s called mycoxafloppin.

What’s the British term for opium induced erectile dysfunction?

What do you call morning boners which guys with erectile dysfunction don’t get?
Morning wouldnt.

A husband and wife walk into a Urologist’s office.
The wife says, “Doc, my husband suffers from erectile dysfunction.”
The husband interjects, “Well, technically it’s her who suffers from it.”

Did you know that Stephen Hawking was diagnosed with erectile dysfunction?
It was easy to fix, they just uninstalled his pop-up blocker.

Recommended: Cock Jokes

Why are erectile dysfunction jokes so unfunny?
They’re not hard to make.

A doctor said to his patient that he could give him some aids for his erectile dysfunction.
The patient told him that didn’t sound like a good trade.

Did you hear about the man who has been trying to hide his erectile dysfunction from my girlfriend?
But he can’t keep it up for much longer.

What is the scientific name for mansplaining?
Correctyle Dysfunction.

An elderly guy received a gift certificate from his wife on his 74th birthday.
The certificate paid for a trip to a nearby tribe to see a medicine man who was said to have a miraculous remedy for erectile dysfunction.
He drove to the reservation after being convinced to go, handed his ticket to the medicine man, and wondered what he was in for.
The old man handed a potion to him, and with a grip on his shoulder, warned, “This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoon and then say ‘1-2-3’.” When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life and you can perform as long as you want.”
The man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, “How do I stop the medicine from working?”
“Your partner must say ‘1-2-3-4,'” the medicine man responded, “but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon.”
The man was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he quickly took off his clothes and said, “1-2-3!” Immediately, he was the manliest of men. His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes as she asked “What was the 1-2-3 for?”
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.

How did the lad apologize to his friend for making fun of his erectile dysfunction?
He said, “Hope there are no hard feelings.”

Why do some people feel awkward while talking about erectile dysfunction?
It’s not something that can be brought up easily.

What do you call a person with micropenis and erectile dysfunction?

Why can’t dormant volcanoes erupt?
They have eruptile dysfunction.

A man asked the librarian for a new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said, “It’s not coming up!”
He said, “Yeah, that’s the one!!”

Recommended: Vasectomy Jokes

A woman told her friend that her husband has erectile dysfunction.
Her friend replied, “Well, I guess your husband has thrust issues.”

Who was the first man diagnosed with erectile dysfunction?
Cain. He wasn’t Abel.

Which disease is hard to beat?
Erectile dysfunction.

A doctor asked his patient how his sex life is with Erectile Dysfunction?
He replied, “Ever try playing pool with a rope?”

A man went to his doctor and explained that he was having difficulty sustaining an erection. After a thorough examination, the doctor informed the man that the muscles surrounding the base of his penis had been injured by a previous viral illness and that there was nothing he could do for him.
He did, however, know about an experimental treatment that could work if he was ready to accept the risk. The procedure involved inserting muscle tissue from an elephant’s trunk into the man’s penis.
The man pondered it for a time. He couldn’t handle the notion of going through life without ever experiencing sex again. So, with the guarantee that there would be no cruelty or negative impact on the elephant, the man decided to go forward with it. He was given permission to utilize his newly upgraded equipment a few weeks following the operation.
As a result, he arranged a romantic evening for his girlfriend and took her to one of the city’s finest restaurants. She was bending over the table in a low-cut shirt, and he began to feel very uneasy. He unzipped his fly to relieve the pressure. Suddenly his penis emerged from his pants, went to the top of the table, grabbed a roll, and retreated into his pants.
His girlfriend was stunned at first, but then with a sly smile on her face said, “That was incredible. Can you do that again?”
With his eyes watering, he replied, “I think I can, but I’m not sure if I can take another dinner roll in the ass.”

Why can’t a sonic screwdriver cure erectile dysfunction?
It doesn’t do wood.

How come doctors often forget to ask about erectile dysfunction?
It just never comes up.

Recommended: Circumcision Jokes

What do you call a whale with erectile dysfunction?
Mopey Dick.

What did the doctor tell the guy with erectile dysfunction?
“Keep it up!”

An old man goes to the doctor for erectile dysfunction.
He tells the doctor, “I haven’t gotten off in years, I really need some Viagra.” The doctor prescribes some Viagra and sends him on his way.
The next day the old man comes back and explains that it didn’t work. “I tried with my right hand, my left hand. In fact, my wife used both hands and even tried her mouth. Hell, we even went to the neighbor and asked for help and even that didn’t work.”
The doctor looks shocked, “You asked your neighbor for help?”
“Yeah, and even she couldn’t get the damn bottle open!”

What’s the name of the erectile dysfunction medication used in Pokemon?
PP up.

What do you call a sports competition between guys with erectile dysfunction?
The o-limp-dicks.

Did you hear about the guy who was accused of jerking off with hand soap for his erectile dysfunction?
Well, he finally came clean.

Why don’t truck drivers get erectile dysfunction?
They just get a new Peterbilt.

A husband and wife walk into the restaurant.
Waitress: Hello, my name is Pam, what can I get you?
Husband: Hello Pam, you are very beautiful.
Wife: Why don’t you tell her about your erectile dysfunction?
Husband: OK. Pam, this is my erectile dysfunction, her name is Jane.

If the 1st Robin died, what would Batman have in common with a man with erectile dysfunction?
A limp dick.

Did you hear about the guy who has reverse erectile dysfunction?
He having a real hard time at the moment.

What do waterfalls take when they have erectile dysfunction?

What do you call it when the grocer fails to clean up a mess in the store?
A wrecked aisle dysfunction.

A man seeks medical attention for erectile dysfunction.
The doctor inquires about his dietary habits, whether or not he exercises, and what he does for a living. After contemplating everything he has heard, he requests to view a photograph of the man’s wife. The man opens his wallet and displays it to him. The doctor nods, pulls a little bottle from the room’s cupboard, and offers it to the man. “Here are some free samples. Take one of these any time you want to have an erection.”
The man reads the bottle aloud, “May cause temporary blindness?!”

What do you call a tree with erectile dysfunction?

Did you know Jesus had erectile dysfunction?
It took him 3 days to rise again.

What do you call a musician with erectile dysfunction?
D flat.

What’s the difference between build and erect?
Men can’t get buildile dysfunction.

Which E.D. is worst, Erectile Dysfunction or Explosive Diarrhea?
The man blushed and answered in almost a whisper: Erectile dysfunction.
The embarrassed woman also said: Erectile dysfunction.
The butch lesbian hesitantly replied: Erectile dysfunction.
The gay guy without hesitation answered: Depends if you’re top or bottom.

Did you watch a film about a giant crocodile with erectile dysfunction?
Lake Flaccid.

What do you call a cookie with erectile dysfunction?
A Limp Biscuit.

What do you call a gay midget with erectile dysfunction?
A low hanging fruit.

What do you call a monkey with erectile dysfunction?
A limpanzee.

What do you call a cowboy with erectile dysfunction?
Clint Southwood.

Do you have another funny Erectile Dysfunction joke? Post your own Erectile Dysfunction puns in the comment section below.

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

3 thoughts on “60 Funny Erectile Dysfunction Jokes for Laughing Issues”

    • So what. Why is being offensive a problem? Comedy IS the risk of being offensive. And it’s a release of tension (ironically). You’ll find those with E.D. will likely laugh the hardest. And if you take offence John, simply don’t attend or listen to comedy or humour websites. Or do – you’re free to feel offended 😂


Leave a Comment