70 Dark School Shooting Jokes For Ones Gunning for A Good Laugh

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Jessica Amlee

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Humor has always been an essential part of human culture, helping us cope with life’s challenges and providing relief in difficult times. Dark humor, in particular, can offer a way to address sensitive subjects, including school shootings, by using laughter as a means of acknowledging and processing the emotions surrounding such events.

Today, we’ll explore the world of school shooting jokes, considering both their potential for healing and the importance of maintaining respect for those directly affected. While we recognize the value of humor in navigating difficult topics, it is vital to approach these jokes with mindfulness and an awareness of their potential impact on others. It’s crucial to understand the impact of such humor on the collective mindset and how it shapes the public discourse around gun violence and mental health.

Funny School Shooting Jokes

Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings?
Mostly because it’s always too soon. In some cases, they do, but we can’t hear them over all the gunshots.

What did the coronavirus do that the US government can’t?
Stop school shootings.

Who are the only people allowed to do school shootings?

A young man goes to a US Veterans hospital because he has PTSD.
The clerk says, “Before we can authorize tr8ment we’ll need paperwork proving you are a combat veteran.”
The man says, “Of course. Here’s my High School diploma.”

Why are Americans so good at basketball?
Because they’ve been practicing shooting drills since elementary school.

Why did the US win a gold medal in shooting at the last Olympics?
Because they practice in the best schools.

Why do kids who play COD shoot up their school according to the media?
To increase their K/D ratio.

What’s the difference between the SATs and school shootings?
You only have 1 shot to prove yourself at the SATs.

What do you call a 7th grader with no friends?
Sandy Hook survivor.

What’s the difference between a computer and an American?
An American doesn’t have trouble-shooting.

What’s the best part about summer in the US?
Three months of no school shootings.

How are School shooting jokes like the school shooting victims?
They never get old.

Why are Americans so dumb?
Because they shoot the ones who go to school.

Recommended: Gun Jokes

Do you know that placing three armed veterans in each school will stop school shootings?
The shooter will see people with three arms and freak out.

Why do so many American kids die in school shootings?
They’re not allowed to run in the halls.

Americans: It’s Mom, not Mum, it’s Chips, not Crisps, it’s Fries, not Chips, it’s Color, not Colour, it’s Soccer, not Football, and it’s Football, not Rugby.
Britons: It’s School, not Shooting Range.

What do you call a school shooting in a math class?

Did you hear about the shooting at the deaf school?
Neither did they.

Wanna hear a school shooting pickup line?
He: Hey baby, are you a school?
She: Uhg. No, why?
He: Because I want to shoot a bunch of kids in you.

What’s the difference between school shootings and mass shootings?
School shootings have more class.

Why aren’t there any guns in Harry Potter?
Because Hogwarts is in England not America.

How do you create a school shooting at a black school?
Call the cops.

Recommended: Dark Jokes

What did the anti-vaxxer say during the school shooting?
“No shots for me, please.”

What does a homeschooler call a school shooting?

Why are there no school shootings in Afghanistan?
America already bombed the schools.

Did you hear about Little Johnny’s brother last words who died in a school shooting?
“Damn it, the cops are here. I guess I’ll have the last round for myself.”

Can you imagine what was going through the kids’ heads when the shooting was going on?
Bullets, probably bullets.

Did you hear there was another school shooting recently in the US?
So glad the world is starting to go back to normal.

Why do we still have school shooting drills.?
It just teaches the quiet kid where to aim when he is ready.

Why does Fortnite remind you so much of high school?
Because you just hop off the bus and shoot everyone you see.

Roses are red,
Violets are cool,
No valentines date?
Just shoot up a school!

What do you call a late abortion?
School shooting.

Recommended: Abortion Jokes

What’s the difference between mass shootings and Amy Schumer?
Mass shootings are funny.

What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding out your child died in a school shooting.

What’s the best way to survive a school shooting?
Make sure you’re the first to fire the shots.

Did you hear about the neighbor’s son who wanted to get work experience at a shooting range?
So his father sent him to school for the day.

Why is heroin better than school?
Heroin doesn’t cry when you shoot it up.

How do you know PUBG takes place in America?
There are more guns in a school than at a shooting range.

What do a priest and a school shooter have in common?
They both shoot their load into a kid when given the chance.

Did you hear about the School Shooting in Russia?
The US is about to sue for Copyright.

What do jazz and school shootings have in common?
Brass and soul.

What do call it when a red headed shoots up a school?
A ginger snaps.

Recommended: Red Headed Jokes

Did you hear about a school shooting on Valentine’s Day?
Guess they could call it Bullet For My Valentine.

A guy was shooting up the school.
One guy hiding in the classroom tells his classmates, “I have a gun in my bag, I can end this quickly.”
One classmate told him, “Just go end it, this is so fcuked up.”
He took a gun from the bag, and gave his classmates quick shots through their head.

How is masturbation similar to a school shooting?
You’re going to be shooting the kids either way.

Who is the safest in a school shooting?
Unvaccinated children. They don’t get shots.

What do you call a school shooter who only shoots special ed kids?
A vegetable farmer.

What’s the American education system’s slogan?
“Great targets and shooting ranges!”

Even though children in various places around Africa have access to guns, they still don’t have a single case of a school shooting, do you know why?
It’s because they don’t have schools in the first place.

What’s the worst part about a school shooting?

What do you call a school shooting victim who becomes a prostitute?
A Sandy Hooker.

What do all school shootings have in common?
Dead children and happy parents.

Did you hear about the recent survey on US students?
Around 75% of them graduate from high school. The other 25% die in school shootings.

Where should you shoot up a school?
Texas – because you can walk out on bail.

What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?
Target practice.

Why are Americans 1st in obesity?
Bigger targets for school shootings.

Do you know some people just hate school shooting jokes?
They say that those kinds of jokes tend to be aimed at younger audiences.

What’s poppin?
Children’s heads during a school shooting.

How to stop school shootings?
Shoot up the school before the school shooters, it’ll run them outta business.

Why do they have a moment of silence for school shootings?
Because it’s hard to aim a gun with everyone making so much goddamn noise.

Do you know that white people don’t shoot each other in the streets as black people do?
They do it in schools because they have class.

Recommended: Racist Jokes

What is the best thing about being a pedophile necrophiliac?
Being an elementary school teacher after a school shooting.

When is a school shooting not a school shooting?
When it’s a field trip.

What’s the great thing about school shootings?
You get to be dismissed earlier and for the added bonus no homework for every teacher killed!

What do you do when you are shooting up the school and entering the library?
Put a silencer on, duh.

What do CS: GO and school shootings have in common?
You get mad at your friend for stealing your kill.

What do you call a school shooting at a catholic school?
A mass shooting.

Do you have another school shooting joke? Post your own school shooting puns in the comment section below.

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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